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When I see a house without Christmas lights on it, I think about how much those people must hate Jesus.
When I look back on my life, most of the time I'm just picturing ex-girlfriends naked.
The most confirming factor that I'm single, is most of my underwear have enough holes in them to give an octopus options when putting on.
Man it sucks being broke, but the upside is my kid already likes pb & j's and Mac and cheese.
If your pee isn't neon green and glowing in the dark, your probably not taking enough vitamins.
Since last Christmas was sorta uneventful, I got all the nieces and nephews homey socks this year.
When asked Cain couldn't remember anything about Libia. They should asked him about Labia, he would nail that without even thinking!
Just finished off the rest of my kids Halloween candy so I'm not sure what she's having for dinner now.