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Okay, we shall bug you no longer
  • drearydoug
      Dreary Doug @drearydoug

    Gift @drearydoug Favstar Pro to unlock their best tweet!Gift them Pro!

    • 345
    • FAVS
    AudreyPornedocjommdbecabirdPolhunterPSternoShotssquirrel74wkgnTellTheTruthYoMacKoolio
    • 143
    • RETWEETS
    PolhunterPSternoShotsLambyMcSheepsfuzzlimemjmaciejewskiZombie_Kit__TheRealKeeganPPatrickGDuggan
    mrtruthandsoul
  • drearydoug
      Dreary Doug @drearydoug

    At my parent's house, or as I like to call it, the world's most judgmental self-service laundromat.

    • 325
    • FAVS
    ElviramaineToby_WonthetobbiethedailymarkerSqueeb_SlayerMaryGenevaNYCTheLastVirgoBigBang6000
    • 115
    • RETWEETS
    Toby_Wonbrekittyxfavstar_historythedailymarkerBigBang6000marebytesshakes31471SternoShots
  • drearydoug
      Dreary Doug @drearydoug

    I'm pretty sure the way my sister just depicted Oprah in Draw Something should be considered nothing short of a hate crime.

    • 230
    • FAVS
    SohnsTedCognitive_DissArtIsMyPornSternoShotssquirrel74wkgnTellTheTruthYonutellanpbginnyrusse
    • 81
    • RETWEETS
    ArtIsMyPornSternoShotsOut_spokenMeRasbanda_ManoloSuitableHolmesToxicButTastyll_the_ragerenobones________
  • drearydoug
      Dreary Doug @drearydoug

    My date does not seem impressed with my combo washer/dryer/dining room table.

    • 235
    • FAVS
    PolhunterPDrMonicaQuezadaSternoShotsevidentlyblondeJacquesHattieFourthGearFlyinthebridge75DanKCharnley
    • 70
    • RETWEETS
    SternoShotsevidentlyblondeorneryalwaysStpdSmartKidspw_bondleechee420squirrel74wkgnjschwab1978
  • drearydoug
      Dreary Doug @drearydoug

    Self-checkout is the best thing that's happened to the anti-social community since the handwritten manifesto.

    • 205
    • FAVS
    MissmacguffGoldishocks86CujogreezePolhunterPanghallackmarebytesfuturtryptwizrd
    • 71
    • RETWEETS
    GoldishocksgreezePolhunterPanghallackSternoShotsBran_Chan87elmoscaresmefuzzlime
    aleneparr
  • drearydoug
      Dreary Doug @drearydoug

    My current state of caffeination is beyond 'semi-pleasant conversationalist' and quickly approaching 'ability to see through time.'

    • 181
    • FAVS
    marebytesMelvinofYorkshakes31471SternoShotssquirrel74wkgnsmilely_galBarbiturateCatTellTheTruthYo
    • 67
    • RETWEETS
    shakes31471SternoShotsTellTheTruthYochaddercookR1CC1KfuzzlimeryanisagoodguyTFerreolus
  • drearydoug
      Dreary Doug @drearydoug

    I can't tell what God enjoys tormenting me with more: the success of my exes or my check engine light.

    • 149
    • FAVS
    SternoShotssquirrel74wkgnGrnjellosheepandrobotsVodkaShorebird8rnwhite8Jenny4ashleyshkeeberwashere__
    • 41
    • RETWEETS
    TellTheTruthYoGrnjelloSummerWitteToxicButTastycupcakelyndabamesbmwTopcat_007kevnasto
    imhalfwaytheres
  • drearydoug
      Dreary Doug @drearydoug

    If I had a time machine, first thing I'd do is go back and inform whoever attempted this Airline Sudoku puzzle that they're a fucking idiot.

    • 156
    • FAVS
    marebytesfuturtryptwizrdMelvinofYorksc_vaughnSternoShotssquirrel74wkgnTellTheTruthYoVodkaShorebird
    • 29
    • RETWEETS
    SternoShotsJimmerThatisAllSauertrautTylerLinkinCshift3Kalii_mrtruthandsoulfuqtarded
  • drearydoug
      Dreary Doug @drearydoug

    All I was told was to bring snacks to a work meeting. Where does it state that 4 bottles of wine aren't snacks and that I have to share.

    • 135
    • FAVS
    anghallackmarebytesfuturtryptwizrdMelvinofYorkSternoShotsTellTheTruthYoBran_Chan87fuzzlime
    • 44
    • RETWEETS
    SternoShotsTellTheTruthYofuzzlimemoemaidKaitlynSartercristicremeJimmerThatisAllB_Walt2
    imhalfwaytheres
  • drearydoug
      Dreary Doug @drearydoug

    Congratulations to everyone graduating college this week on reaching a level of employability still lower than a 1970's high school dropout.

    • 134
    • FAVS
    anghallackmarebytesBinglethorpeshakes31471sc_vaughnMelvinofYorkfuturtryptwizrdSternoShots
    • 40
    • RETWEETS
    shakes31471sc_vaughnSternoShotsSauertrautPhilNistaBeenToHellPalGiantSweetTartyosefwaits
  • drearydoug
      Dreary Doug @drearydoug

    At the hipster coffee shoppe, playing my new favorite game: Face Tattoo or Birth Defect!

    • 139
    • FAVS
    LambyMcSheepsBran_Chan87R1CC1KBlackCheesePieJimmerThatisAllJenny4ashleyshkeeberwashere__nickgillz________
    • 35
    • RETWEETS
    R1CC1KfuzzlimeJimmerThatisAllajtowlerkevnastoTylerLinkintimmyryan22signandsight
  • drearydoug
      Dreary Doug @drearydoug

    Great Date Night Idea: "Let's put our iPods on shuffle and judge each other."

    • 128
    • FAVS
    SarahBoswellanghallackmarebytesfuturtryptwizrdeliotpayneMelvinofYorkSternoShotskarenkho
    • 45
    • RETWEETS
    SternoShotscreative_typeJimbodiddleyTellTheTruthYoRezwhitehair03SlowpokeRodrgzOhHarleyPapashenanikenz
    SternoShots
  • drearydoug
      Dreary Doug @drearydoug

    Either there's catnip in my new deodorant, or Mr. Whiskers wants to take our relationship to the next level. Mr. Whiskers is our janitor.

    • 125
    • FAVS
    funnybeachgirlMelvinofYorkSternoShotsVodkaShorebird8rnwhite8PhilNistaJenny4ashleyshkeeberwashere__
    • 33
    • RETWEETS
    SternoShotscupcakelyndaToxicButTastyStartup_ADLPolicyVoteMrFlixxmrtruthandsoulEdwardNigma1980
  • drearydoug
      Dreary Doug @drearydoug

    I was asked for my business card today. I broke down in tears. My parents can be such dicks.

    • 125
    • FAVS
    SternoShotsPastorTicklesGoofyGeminiTellTheTruthYoLambyMcSheepsGrnjellofuzzlimegloryousIy
    • 26
    • RETWEETS
    PastorTicklesTellTheTruthYoJimmerThatisAllSauertrautTheMongoose69ThisMansJourneymrtruthandsoulGrind_n_Roll
    DawnLovesZombie
  • drearydoug
      Dreary Doug @drearydoug

    Asked if there was anyway I could charge my phone at Cracker Barrel, and they just brought me a raccoon covered in tin foil.

    • 109
    • FAVS
    SternoShotsAnyaLachae7ToxicButTastyjeffron_xAlisonzombielan__angheidJDawgSwagmasterTinyMcSmallBirk
    • 40
    • RETWEETS
    jeffron_xfavstar1000favsDukeRaccoonjiggynyeVodkaShorebirdthebest5wtcathryn_wardTomFoolery52
  • drearydoug
      Dreary Doug @drearydoug

    How many stick pokes does it take to determine if this park bench sleeper is officially dead? I'm at 49.

    • 119
    • FAVS
    anghallackMelvinofYorkSternoShotssmilely_gal786Sakshi123caliraingirlMatthewsKristyTellTheTruthYo
    • 30
    • RETWEETS
    lindsbrenanghallackSternoShotsTellTheTruthYoBedheadBunnyandrewgutin999nataS999favstar1000favs
  • drearydoug
      Dreary Doug @drearydoug

    Worst part about living alone: Once your friends go through your medicine cabinet, trying to explain how your cat got erectile dysfunction.

    • 113
    • FAVS
    CubanaMama82SternoShotssmilely_galBarbiturateCatTellTheTruthYoVodkaShorebirdrenobones________8rnwhite8
    • 35
    • RETWEETS
    CubanaMama82SternoShotsTellTheTruthYoPhilNistafavstar1000favsSauertrautkylymi2chokenspuh
  • drearydoug
      Dreary Doug @drearydoug

    Side ponytail AND Snooki Poof? Girrrrl, you are making all the right choices.

    • 113
    • FAVS
    LambyMcSheepsLocoHashimgloryousIyMetalligretchJimmerThatisAllVodkaShorebirdrenobones________8rnwhite8
    • 33
    • RETWEETS
    favstar_historyzami_singsonJimmerThatisAllfavstar1000favsnice_sometimes___TayTayJustineErin13851meanPeach
  • drearydoug
      Dreary Doug @drearydoug

    "Dryer, why do you have a Less dry setting? That's the washers job!... These jokes go over great with the vacuum cleaner." ...so alone.

    • 112
    • FAVS
    anghallackmarebytesMelvinofYorkSternoShotsGrnjellomarmuzellafuzzlimejiggynye
    • 32
    • RETWEETS
    sc_vaughnSternoShotsmarmuzellafuzzlimeVodkaShorebirdPhilNistafavstar1000favscanadasandra
    ManVsPuppet
  • drearydoug
      Dreary Doug @drearydoug

    Just found out I'm not man enough to change the TV at the gym from ESPN to Cartoon Network.

    • 101
    • FAVS
    VodkaShorebird8rnwhite8Jenny4ashleyshkeeberwashere__trumpthechumpToxicButTastyradtoria__________HapaKoleaJen
    • 33
    • RETWEETS
    PlSSPANTSfavstar1000favsHapaKoleaJenStella1070JimmerThatisAllalexhadzimasitdowninfrontOliveBeerthanks
@drearydoug

@drearydoug

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