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  • drearydoug
      Dreary Doug @drearydoug

    At my parent's house, or as I like to call it, the world's most judgmental self-service laundromat.

    • 382
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    fuzzlimeguru_quemilieLiaBarberSexAtOxbridgeazurefeBrohamuletMikeHornickBrianDo92361544
    • 158
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    candidartichoke
  • drearydoug
      Dreary Doug @drearydoug

    I fell asleep listening to the Red Hot Chili Peppers and woke up illiterate.

    • 365
    • LIKES
    LuvPugmisfitanonymousnotjacqueline_Maxine12333eestreetCandaceBergenpaperphotoyoSlave_4_U__
    • 157
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    mrtruthandsoul
  • drearydoug
      Dreary Doug @drearydoug

    My date does not seem impressed with my combo washer/dryer/dining room table.

    • 248
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    MikeHornickdknineteenFrasierSeinheyoulaurameowskins__just1foolamandajpandadumbpunk_hunter
    • 74
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    just1foolddsmidtBareChesty2tickytackySternoShotsevidentlyblondeorneryalwaysStpdSmartKids
  • drearydoug
      Dreary Doug @drearydoug

    I'm pretty sure the way my sister just depicted Oprah in Draw Something should be considered nothing short of a hate crime.

    • 234
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    CodeAlphaDnBjust1fool2tickytackyBareChestySohnsTedCognitive_DissArtIsMyPornSternoShots
    • 83
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    just1fool2tickytackyArtIsMyPornSternoShotsOut_spokenMeRasbanda_ManoloSuitableHolmesToxicButTasty
  • drearydoug
      Dreary Doug @drearydoug

    Self-checkout is the best thing that's happened to the anti-social community since the handwritten manifesto.

    • 226
    • LIKES
    BrainDentistlacrossemom5ArcherfiretruckArtfulDetectiveSlave_4_U__dknineteenriles394zachv86
    • 84
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    aleneparr
  • drearydoug
      Dreary Doug @drearydoug

    My current state of caffeination is beyond 'semi-pleasant conversationalist' and quickly approaching 'ability to see through time.'

    • 195
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    BrianDo92361544Slave_4_U__kristamptwocrazybunniesjust1foolthedude0980PellMullBareChesty
    • 80
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    misfitanonymoussquirrel74wkgnSlave_4_U__playpretendingkristampjust1foolthedude0980er0tikka
  • drearydoug
      Dreary Doug @drearydoug

    I can't tell what God enjoys tormenting me with more: the success of my exes or my check engine light.

    • 160
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    josephus77Uncul_Scientistmisfitanonymousdancampbell0123_frecklesfuzzlimesrecobojust1fool
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    someonesjunk
  • drearydoug
      Dreary Doug @drearydoug

    Great Date Night Idea: "Let's put our iPods on shuffle and judge each other."

    • 152
    • LIKES
    Daiynaljosephus77misfitanonymousanglo_bonesWondrousJRLharigtweetsHiJCPChrisPosey1
    • 57
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    SternoShots
  • drearydoug
      Dreary Doug @drearydoug

    Congratulations to everyone graduating college this week on reaching a level of employability still lower than a 1970's high school dropout.

    • 151
    • LIKES
    fuzzlimeLMHPhotogmymidnightpizzaChrisPosey1CodeAlphaDnB_Hiphophooray_mister_frijolesdkopp37
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    josta173LMHPhotogmister_frijoleszachv86just1fool2tickytackyPellMullshakes31471
  • drearydoug
      Dreary Doug @drearydoug

    If I had a time machine, first thing I'd do is go back and inform whoever attempted this Airline Sudoku puzzle that they're a fucking idiot.

    • 164
    • LIKES
    ajkolettifuzzlime2tickytackypdog11234zachv86just1foolkelter1BareChesty
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    DhartiPeBhojfuzzlime2tickytackyjust1foolBareChestySternoShotsJimmerThatisAllSauertraut
  • drearydoug
      Dreary Doug @drearydoug

    All I was told was to bring snacks to a work meeting. Where does it state that 4 bottles of wine aren't snacks and that I have to share.

    • 144
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    squirrel74wkgngirliefailmamabee1978zachv86just1foolroaryboredealisOdi1978F2tickytacky
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    someonesjunk
  • drearydoug
      Dreary Doug @drearydoug

    At the hipster coffee shoppe, playing my new favorite game: Face Tattoo or Birth Defect!

    • 147
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    TrentidonCodeAlphaDnBzachv86just1foolsquirrel74wkgnCelebYouTauntmasumparves172tickytacky
    • 38
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  • drearydoug
      Dreary Doug @drearydoug

    Either there's catnip in my new deodorant, or Mr. Whiskers wants to take our relationship to the next level. Mr. Whiskers is our janitor.

    • 134
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    fuzzlimejust1foolzachv86squirrel74wkgnDoraannHlms2tickytackyLittleJimmy61SPAC3CRAF
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  • drearydoug
      Dreary Doug @drearydoug

    I was asked for my business card today. I broke down in tears. My parents can be such dicks.

    • 138
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    jawbreaker9_5x7__just1foolzachv86bruhzillian2tickytackyqueeenvkWondrousJRLDillonGeroux
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    DawnLovesZombie
  • drearydoug
      Dreary Doug @drearydoug

    Asked if there was anyway I could charge my phone at Cracker Barrel, and they just brought me a raccoon covered in tin foil.

    • 125
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    _realscottlopezlilcee2402just1foolMissKellieUKayocumhaleaciousstuartpologeLoLo_OOC
    • 44
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    just1fool2tickytackysquirrel74wkgnBareChestyjeffron_xfavstar1000favsDukeRaccoonjiggynye
  • drearydoug
      Dreary Doug @drearydoug

    How many stick pokes does it take to determine if this park bench sleeper is officially dead? I'm at 49.

    • 129
    • LIKES
    VermilliongreyWICKEDTRUTH01just1foolmister_frijoleszachv86MissKellieUK2tickytackyThatBrenna
    • 39
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  • drearydoug
      Dreary Doug @drearydoug

    Worst part about living alone: Once your friends go through your medicine cabinet, trying to explain how your cat got erectile dysfunction.

    • 124
    • LIKES
    Martinij1970chrisdabearAnt_F3ltzjust1fooltyranosexThatBrenna2tickytackymister_frijoles
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    Martinij1970chrisdabearAnt_F3ltzjust1foolThatBrenna2tickytackyzachv86squirrel74wkgn
  • drearydoug
      Dreary Doug @drearydoug

    "Dryer, why do you have a Less dry setting? That's the washers job!... These jokes go over great with the vacuum cleaner." ...so alone.

    • 119
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    just1foolCatherine_YYCThatBrenna2tickytackyMikeChippersonzachv86squirrel74wkgnanghallack
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    ManVsPuppet
  • drearydoug
      Dreary Doug @drearydoug

    Side ponytail AND Snooki Poof? Girrrrl, you are making all the right choices.

    • 118
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    Monicann86JakobL12squirrel74wkgn2tickytackyjust1foolLambyMcSheeps__himhasUgodlymosaic
    • 36
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  • drearydoug
      Dreary Doug @drearydoug

    Just found out I'm not man enough to change the TV at the gym from ESPN to Cartoon Network.

    • 108
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    stupidshldhurtjust1fool2tickytackynictriciousCarltonB_ankszachv86squirrel74wkgnVodkaShorebird
    • 37
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    triciamccallum1just1fool2tickytackyzachv86PlSSPANTSfavstar1000favsHapaKoleaJenStella1070
@drearydoug

@drearydoug

I hate this too

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