"What Twitter will look like on the day Thatcher dies" is looking pretty accurate so far pic.twitter.com/oMaJK8xJO3 (via @danfisherjourno)

Oi, Beijing. Did you have a shire horse at yours??? No. No, you bloody well didn't. #savethesurprise

Open this link. Click the woman. Feel guilty. http://t.co/BmVQXEXu

Sorry dads, just saw someone with a “World’s Best Dad” badge. Better luck next year!

Stacey Solomon should present every show on TV ever.

Today marks 4 years since I last typed a girl's name in the status box rather than search. I think I'm nearly over it.

VOTE GAMU

@katem3 Can I tell you a joke about potassium?
K.

Don't you hate it when you finally get your hair looking ok and then remember you and everyone you love will one day die #Monday

A One Direction track has the lines:
"I just wanna show you off to all of my friends/Making them drool down their chinny chin chins"

@glinner Also: @longform, @readmatter,  http://mustread.io ,  http://thefeature.net  and on G+:  https://plus.google.com/communities/100656923780841493539 …

"Artist Takes Every Drug Known to Man, Draws Self Portraits After Each Use"  http://cultso.com/artist-takes-every-drug-known-to-man-draws-self-portraits-after-each-use/ … (via @guardianjessica)

.@pontifex Can you do something about this please?  http://www.nme.com/news/the-beatles/68229 …

Too soon, lettuce, too soon  http://i.imgur.com/RjAH4FV.jpg 

RT @pontifex There is currently a good service operating on all London Underground lines

Well, I guess humanity had a good run.

Fashion people: is this "look" "in" "right now"? Cos I'm not sure I could pull it off http://t.co/9syBAsRn

@qikipedia Breakfast #WordsForTheCrustyStuffInYourEyes

“Americans Are as Likely to Be Killed by Their Own Furniture as by Terrorism” http://t.co/XlWamJgn #bombDFS

Argh. I'm still writing GMT on all my ransom notes!!