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Why can't rebooting a computer involve kicking it? Seems like a design flaw if you ask me.
I bought three kinds of milk yesterday, and none of them came from an animal.
Aquaman realizes that he blows as a superhero. Cries. Relizes that he's crying into the ocean. Cries even more.
I think people wouldn't be as scared of the fiscal cliff if we called it "the fiscal hole from the movie 300" We can throw Joe Biden in.
I was thinking, if I could draw I would make a comic book about a cereal killer gun named Jack the Luger.
"The problem with quotes on the internet is that many are not genuine." - Abraham Lincoln
I still don't know what the fuck herring snacks in sour cream is, but it sounds disgusting.
I was in the grocery store last night, and I started thinking about John Updike's story A&P. Still thinking about it.
Quote: "They're asking for the single girls. Get up there."
I saw a Montebello school bus fly through a red light today, in case you were wondering how safe your children are.
Quote: "It was Satan's guacamole."
There has to be erotic fan fiction of Jan the Toyota lady doing Flo the Progressive insurance woman. I know how the internet works.
An exaggerated version of myself that swears lots & has a weird sense of humor. Also: Boyish manboy & unicorn farmer. #Hashtag #Chatrealm #Potato