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  • dril
      wint @dril

    if your grave doesnt say "rest in peace" on it you are automatically drafted into the skeleton war

    • 10k
    • FAVS
    WhatevaConccallmeshittogf3ScottHeltonPIZZAFORBRKFSTHymTheGrimeGodtheseknivesskoll89
    • 9,385
    • RETWEETS
    WhatevaConcdanjan13IsmaelBeMePIZZAFORBRKFSTcccorvinmodest_blousehottunaicecreamnatwow
    FuckTypingAmSockoctoqtshruglorddavedittell
  • dril
      wint @dril

    Food $200
    Data $150
    Rent $800
    Candles $3,600
    Utility $150
    someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my family is dying

    • 7,192
    • FAVS
    gutterpirateskoll89TheBurger_PressMGakemlwrylessthankyleshowerbearBloatedCarcass
    • 4,767
    • RETWEETS
    NotTomGarbutttomfahy1lostinvioletDavement_lessthankyleCWestinghamhomeschooldanmattyeightfour
    vapelord69
  • dril
      wint @dril

    big bird was obviously just a man in a suit. but the other ones were too small to contain men. so what the fuck

    • 6,921
    • FAVS
    skoll89drewjandaNozomemeQueensharpalrighttobykeithsweatbased_bitch420_domtwurkpeegrits
    • 4,217
    • RETWEETS
    shit_its_sarahAbeBromanTheBurger_PressTheAmitieWURTZt_tweetzdomtwurkpeegritsbr0wnmagic69
    TheTweetParrotyeahsometimesJermHimselfishDickPicSender
  • dril
      wint @dril

    awfully bold of you to fly the Good Year blimp on a year that has been extremely bad thus far

    • 5,836
    • FAVS
    MilfislandBecksWelkerskoll89DBwiddaDBcoplovorBastardySkullANecroticTidedogbertcosplay
    • 3,397
    • RETWEETS
    _allanlAbeBromanDBwiddaDBSKZakANecroticTidecpfldWURTZt_tweetzIB_BlueJays
  • dril
      wint @dril

    another day volunteering at the betsy ross museum. everyone keeps asking me if they can fuck the flag. buddy, they wont even let me fuck it

    • 5,793
    • FAVS
    skoll89FORGETTHATNOISEchristinawilderMattMcGruffgenuinely_sorryDBwiddaDBTalbertrossTonyD069
    • 2,760
    • RETWEETS
    MattMcGruffTysonBoydaloser_shawtyDomniczykranndrewkeeganttsUnhingedBlahscornedwoman
    kDuncanGz_a_c_h_k_a_t_zironisktvitBeverlyCleary69lawblobshruglordAmSockactualjellyfishGarbageMystic__gubbinsgubbins____
  • dril
      wint @dril

    the doctor reveals my blood pressure is 420 over 69. i hoot & holler outta the building while a bunch of losers try to tell me that im dying

    • 4,800
    • FAVS
    skoll89alexualhealingjdcrowleyDoctor_FieldDrBlueJeannsfredr1khfoursquidsChicoDeLechuga
    • 3,325
    • RETWEETS
    vector_crimesDoubleEntAndrewJakesterrBarroldBondsmelbleimznonowrightbugginalyssabethpayne12
    R_Schmittyoctoqtmojo_ca
  • dril
      wint @dril

    fuck "jokes". everything i tweet is real. raw insight without the horse shit. no, i will NOT follow trolls. twitter dot com. i live for this

    • 4,850
    • FAVS
    NozomemeQueengenuinely_sorryJamesNormingtonapopagasmjuneaurosetakeoSaraCiviantwistofnate
    • 3,046
    • RETWEETS
    PizzaSam31bonesruboJoeriSmitGnarettTheGreatGoogverycozywilrettKimJongSean
    lesterfreamonsunfilterlanyardiganJermHimselfishCoolBabyRatoctoqtSimon_BarrettpissGoblinAceMakesWordslosdrogasHermit_Thrushi_have_4_dickslawblobfartLindzetadisaster_dogjitkavincenessrare_basementSlennon_
  • dril
      wint @dril

    The reason the "Cars" movies have gained so much popularity is becuase the cars speak to one another. You don't get that with real life cars

    • 4,495
    • FAVS
    mlwryaustin_tbhIB_BlueJaysAlexandBennettsikejonzeJoeriSmitRobLikesToYellgoldbluhm
    • 3,013
    • RETWEETS
    Teen_SlimecoremlwryDMightonaustin_tbhBillyLasVegasguest_star_alexderekgdevinesnow_van
    DavidRaymondT__
  • dril
      wint @dril

    BOSS TELLS ME I CAN KISS MY FERRETS AT WORK, BUT NO OPEN MOUTH. I PUNCH THE FLOOR SO HARD HIS SCREEN SAVER DEACTIVATES

    • 4,649
    • FAVS
    mlwrycoreygarryevidentlyblondeNoble_Avenuejoshoutloudpaucity__HommusapienDirtyHalt
    • 2,590
    • RETWEETS
    Noble_Avenuejoshoutloudpaucity__HommusapienprakticenalpistolwistolBobbyGrizWhere__wolf
    DamnItsTrillUpturnedBathtubEvaGisellebriangaarneatdeerGHOSTBONESrobfeefartslimepuke__
  • dril
      wint @dril

    sick of our media's unrealistic portrayal of Boomerangs , which are weak as shit in real life

    • 4,334
    • FAVS
    iv3lynJohnASinclairCocaineSpankguest_star_alexhaleymcarterrThisAlbumSucksgoldbluhmtrevfoutch
    • 2,795
    • RETWEETS
    profinsanoWallyCuadrachiapocalypsekylerodgersJoowanellefabaBigHPrivateEyehineybush
  • dril
      wint @dril

    "This Whole Thing Smacks Of Gender," i holler as i overturn my uncle's barbeque grill and turn the 4th of July into the 4th of Shit

    • 3,874
    • FAVS
    monosynthdaze_gazeseirin08jasminedreameKeegzzJohnASinclairSlewFootersguest_star_alex
    • 2,756
    • RETWEETS
    GloverTroyseirin08retyartmitch_hav_BerlinWalruspatchak21SweetPatootthe_gaming_king
    earfdaeoctoqtloveletterbombs
  • dril
      wint @dril

    i am selling six beautfiul, extremely ill, white horses. they no longer recognize me as their father, and are the Burden of my life

    • 4,312
    • FAVS
    MilfislandNozomemeQueenwutangclannadCocaineSpankjake_radleafgunthedisparateythJohnASinclair
    • 2,231
    • RETWEETS
    bialanocngatt1alannadelreylecounardRedSox_ThoughtsTheSwampy1clockjuiceGollumPanties
  • dril
      wint @dril

    THERAPIST: your problem is, that youre perfect, and everyone is jealous of your good posts, and that makes you rightfully upset.
    ME: I agree

    • 4,003
    • FAVS
    _allanlbekndignumOll_MurraymlwryNozomemeQueenjamesislasersandrewhydeLILINTERNET
    • 2,456
    • RETWEETS
    indoorsyColinAFlowersheytherecoredylanveeLittleMissKitoEl_JaradoMcTanglehaleysfalling
  • dril
      wint @dril

    AS THE GUILLOTINE SLIDES TOWARDS MY NECK, I PRODUCE A TINY BARBELL I'VE BEEN HIDING IN MY MOUTH AND LIFT IT WITH MY TONGUE. ONE LAST REP

    • 4,082
    • FAVS
    Milfislandmlwry_JordankkrewinkBraeden_Mayerzeroffeesnow_vangoldbluhm
    • 2,136
    • RETWEETS
    zeroffeeRyfacesnow_vanflirtydadibockrupsidaisyrich_robertsHashtagBet
    buttcafe
  • dril
      wint @dril

    "Is Wario A Libertarian" - the greatest thread in the history of forums, locked by a moderator after 12,239 pages of heated debate,

    • 3,644
    • FAVS
    TheBurger_PressdrewjandamlwryColinAFlowersSunshineJarbolyEricCunningham_johnmaxwell2HOLT2HANDLE
    • 2,570
    • RETWEETS
    TheBurger_PressKonekoSenseiJDelVigetdownerjake_radsam_reginaldJohnPaulMDgoldbluhm
    BromanConsulgoodasspostsSweetTweetsBROpjlynchshruglordactualjellyfishWeedCoffin
  • dril
      wint @dril

    stonehenge actually sucks and i hope someone pushes those rocks the hell over real soon

    • 3,741
    • FAVS
    TippedTheScaleTheBurger_Presscathal_cna_sarcophagussplooskamphigoristdiesel_dan_jamescurry42
    • 2,382
    • RETWEETS
    renegadeDATippedTheScale1993MazdaRX7LiterallyFadedwood4sheepanagrampschristinawilderPatThedinga
  • dril
      wint @dril

    my favorite part of nascar is when I vomit all over my shirt and car after the race., desecrating the logos of the brands that enslave me

    • 4,450
    • FAVS
    mlwry_esotericcoreygarryliteralshipleyc0mic_sansGuidedByVodkagoldbluhmhndflfdst
    • 1,659
    • RETWEETS
    literalshipleyhugggmeeeeeryanhoneybeewooperSweetPatoottylermcjunkin26dennisquaidfanSevenColorWitch
  • dril
      wint @dril

    i get dozens of compliments about my perfect ears every day. it's llike Shut the fuck up. Im trying to eat a bagel in my car and you do this

    • 4,112
    • FAVS
    morgvannyBrendanBastibleTheCoachClinehibiscuswindsLiterallyFadedskepaniechristinawilderGodOfSweatpants
    • 1,916
    • RETWEETS
    MykonosFanSACartographyBoyLiterallyFadedle_bunsGre_Gonesid_fleshpromissory_boatkylerodgers
  • dril
      wint @dril

    i call evbery four-legged animal I see a dog and I am correct more often than not so I will never stop

    • 3,700
    • FAVS
    skoll89mlwryColinAFlowersclairefeildkylerodgersjake_radanthonybettiJohnASinclair
    • 2,179
    • RETWEETS
    TysonBoydacoreygarrychiapocalypsekylerodgersmaxhasthoughtssnow_vanCartographyBoyStayNobody__
  • dril
      wint @dril

    nerd with lame attitude: North Korea is bad
    Me: Have you ever lived there.
    nerd: (his glasses fall off)
    Me: Catch you later

    • 3,900
    • FAVS
    mlwrygurskymansveikillflyndre_nemesisJohnASinclairSKZakJoeriSmitJtotheItotheM
    • 1,772
    • RETWEETS
    sanxbileTysonBoydamidnas_imp_asscoolgarydotnetSilasEganbrantesteppuketweenhineybush
@dril

@dril

rat with human face given medal by world health organization