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  • dril
      wint @dril

    if your grave doesnt say "rest in peace" on it you are automatically drafted into the skeleton war

    • 11k
    • FAVS
    I_Design_KA_hater_IRLjamespurdleelpaganoescapacase_faceTN_Whaley88sadmonstersdysolution
    • 10k
    • RETWEETS
    _NinJarelpaganoescapaJake_Me_A_CakevcavwarmandpunchyTN_Whaley88knotstheinaneActual_BlueIvy
    FuckTypingAmSockoctoqtshruglorddavedittell
  • dril
      wint @dril

    Food $200
    Data $150
    Rent $800
    Candles $3,600
    Utility $150
    someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my family is dying

    • 7,245
    • FAVS
    JiffyJefejerzypentalMaximus900waldron76trvrplkjaredprice_mattsmith97B_RabSadosky
    • 4,815
    • RETWEETS
    MaritzaCampospoppythompsonmrnickharveyhrtbpsjaredpricemysterneeheath394stormy_hero
    vapelord69
  • dril
      wint @dril

    big bird was obviously just a man in a suit. but the other ones were too small to contain men. so what the fuck

    • 7,017
    • FAVS
    PT_Swagbag93KrisIsInBlightyweirdokayBlSCUlTSSexy14YrOldGirlCartographyBoyiamtallandthinshanebrouman
    • 4,302
    • RETWEETS
    PT_Swagbag93KrisIsInBlightylizardoffCartographyBoyshanebroumanirocklobsterDREADjakenulljosh
    TheTweetParrotyeahsometimesJermHimselfishDickPicSender
  • dril
      wint @dril

    awfully bold of you to fly the Good Year blimp on a year that has been extremely bad thus far

    • 5,866
    • FAVS
    ethannublemuscularscrotemorbidgrrrlerinkatycattrillborggrrmlnunderdougsyaz4n
    • 3,412
    • RETWEETS
    nicholas_offcl_kgottsjedmutucMelodyEnsor18_allanlAbeBromanDBwiddaDBSKZak
  • dril
      wint @dril

    another day volunteering at the betsy ross museum. everyone keeps asking me if they can fuck the flag. buddy, they wont even let me fuck it

    • 5,831
    • FAVS
    WhatevaConcajnzbtdayvygladyjazsjunkclueseekershippieswordfishsassywhiteteenwatermelonmeat
    • 2,785
    • RETWEETS
    ianpauliladyjazsjunkmakjakwatermelonmeatLovesLAandDogsMattMcGruffTysonBoydaloser_shawty
    kDuncanGz_a_c_h_k_a_t_zironisktvitBeverlyCleary69lawblobshruglordAmSockactualjellyfishGarbageMysticgubbinsgubbins____
  • dril
      wint @dril

    the doctor reveals my blood pressure is 420 over 69. i hoot & holler outta the building while a bunch of losers try to tell me that im dying

    • 4,959
    • FAVS
    nicholas_offcllambpastyGian_isthebestmakemeforgetyouMrChesticlesboring_roomateFrodoshopfresh_patrik
    • 3,447
    • RETWEETS
    jameshellardmattmgardnerMrChesticleslinnenbringerThe_CJSimpsonmark_reddieultimatesteveyaperboi
    R_Schmittyoctoqtmojo_ca
  • dril
      wint @dril

    fuck "jokes". everything i tweet is real. raw insight without the horse shit. no, i will NOT follow trolls. twitter dot com. i live for this

    • 4,925
    • FAVS
    hippieswordfishsamelpanBrttHwclueseekerspoon_666cicada_hisserinkatycatwatermelonmeat
    • 3,116
    • RETWEETS
    ass_dadprettybinladenkushtragedyFLIRTGODGloverTroyBrttHwi_papzzpoon_666
    lesterfreamonsunfilterlanyardiganJermHimselfishCoolBabyRatoctoqtSimon_BarrettpissGoblinAceMakesWordslosdrogasHermit_Thrushi_have_4_dickslawblobfartLindzetadisaster_dogjitkavincenessrare_basementSlennon_
  • dril
      wint @dril

    BOSS TELLS ME I CAN KISS MY FERRETS AT WORK, BUT NO OPEN MOUTH. I PUNCH THE FLOOR SO HARD HIS SCREEN SAVER DEACTIVATES

    • 4,891
    • FAVS
    ThripshawnamethebatshipsterscumbagbuttwifeNBB_0__0WonderPhil_phat1oneBarren_Brave
    • 2,729
    • RETWEETS
    Dan_SalehFredDurst2003tarynnjanineAlwaysWinning1BalzackSaysGCEismblarkiedylandavid276
    DamnItsTrillUpturnedBathtubEvaGisellebriangaarneatdeerGHOSTBONESrobfeefartslimepuke
  • dril
      wint @dril

    The reason the "Cars" movies have gained so much popularity is becuase the cars speak to one another. You don't get that with real life cars

    • 4,553
    • FAVS
    AstronautBryannulljoshLetsBeSapidsus_as_hellTEENBITCH666hippieswordfishgrrmlnunderdougs
    • 3,055
    • RETWEETS
    nicholas_offclnulljoshLetsBeSapidgrrmlnTEENBITCH666BigFatNothingASAPBullwinkleTeen_Slimecore
    DavidRaymondT__
  • dril
      wint @dril

    sick of our media's unrealistic portrayal of Boomerangs , which are weak as shit in real life

    • 4,355
    • FAVS
    fakegoldegghippieswordfishgrrmlnBrahim_Sanbennybrookbankunderdougschris_montoyaFiaca4
    • 2,806
    • RETWEETS
    justnisdeadTheAmitieTh3PezDispencerhomeschooldanASAPBullwinkleprofinsanoWallyCuadrachiapocalypse
  • dril
      wint @dril

    "This Whole Thing Smacks Of Gender," i holler as i overturn my uncle's barbeque grill and turn the 4th of July into the 4th of Shit

    • 3,882
    • FAVS
    hippieswordfishmuscularscrotemonosynthdaze_gazeseirin08jasminedreameKeegzzJohnASinclair
    • 2,764
    • RETWEETS
    BoyNamedShitGloverTroyseirin08retyartmitch_hav_BerlinWalruspatchak21SweetPatoot
    earfdaeoctoqtloveletterbombs
  • dril
      wint @dril

    stonehenge actually sucks and i hope someone pushes those rocks the hell over real soon

    • 4,054
    • FAVS
    A_Hammer_BoyLetsBeSapidCartographyBoykahunaparksSteven_motionemilywinthrop1cooldisease69nuggirl
    • 2,587
    • RETWEETS
    LetsBeSapidCartographyBoykahunaparksSteven_motionk1tty_bunnydurhamturkeylegantrahTh3PezDispencer
  • dril
      wint @dril

    THERAPIST: your problem is, that youre perfect, and everyone is jealous of your good posts, and that makes you rightfully upset.
    ME: I agree

    • 4,074
    • FAVS
    B_RabSadoskyTheSamMooreBrooksOglesbydonnymore_allanlbekndignumOll_Murraymlwry
    • 2,507
    • RETWEETS
    BrooksOglesbyASAPBullwinkleindoorsyColinAFlowersheytherecoredylanveeLittleMissKitoEl_Jarado
  • dril
      wint @dril

    i am selling six beautfiul, extremely ill, white horses. they no longer recognize me as their father, and are the Burden of my life

    • 4,335
    • FAVS
    Gianiadjbitchtitsethannublejennschiffer_tomhamiltonhippieswordfishmuscularscrotePunkRockFurby
    • 2,244
    • RETWEETS
    CoreganmorryshelmanhomeschooldanspiderfingersarASAPBullwinklebialanocngatt1alannadelrey
  • dril
      wint @dril

    AS THE GUILLOTINE SLIDES TOWARDS MY NECK, I PRODUCE A TINY BARBELL I'VE BEEN HIDING IN MY MOUTH AND LIFT IT WITH MY TONGUE. ONE LAST REP

    • 4,088
    • FAVS
    kushtragedyorangehexfakegoldeggtheodohRisesILoveSailing123hippieswordfishmuscularscrotebennybrookbank
    • 2,140
    • RETWEETS
    Tim_FromAmericajake_haleyDangOlWillzeroffeeRyfacesnow_vanflirtydadibock
    buttcafe
  • dril
      wint @dril

    "Is Wario A Libertarian" - the greatest thread in the history of forums, locked by a moderator after 12,239 pages of heated debate,

    • 3,649
    • FAVS
    hippieswordfishRealRedRossveroniraptorTheBurger_PressdrewjandamlwryColinAFlowersSunshineJarboly
    • 2,576
    • RETWEETS
    RealRedRossTheBurger_PressKonekoSenseiJDelVigetdownerjake_radsam_reginaldJohnPaulMD
    BromanConsulgoodasspostsSweetTweetsBROpjlynchshruglordactualjellyfishWeedCoffin
  • dril
      wint @dril

    i get dozens of compliments about my perfect ears every day. it's llike Shut the fuck up. Im trying to eat a bagel in my car and you do this

    • 4,201
    • FAVS
    Necronaut0OBiiieeeeHashtagBetinadumpsterlpetey18B_RabSadoskyBrooksOglesbycrocdown
    • 1,955
    • RETWEETS
    HashtagBetscottruconichbootyprince420apocalypsemaudMykonosFanSACartographyBoyLiterallyFadedle_buns
  • dril
      wint @dril

    my favorite part of nascar is when I vomit all over my shirt and car after the race., desecrating the logos of the brands that enslave me

    • 4,455
    • FAVS
    ILoveSailing123RealRedRossKommaKameleonmlwry_esotericcoreygarryliteralshipleyc0mic_sans
    • 1,659
    • RETWEETS
    literalshipleyhugggmeeeeeryanhoneybeewooperSweetPatoottylermcjunkin26dennisquaidfanSevenColorWitch
  • dril
      wint @dril

    i call evbery four-legged animal I see a dog and I am correct more often than not so I will never stop

    • 3,743
    • FAVS
    hippieswordfishmuscularscrotemichaeldgnrosecretcorndoggrrmlndrvvcoTurboNigga3000yaperboi
    • 2,204
    • RETWEETS
    TurboNigga3000yaperboiTysonBoydacoreygarrychiapocalypsekylerodgersmaxhasthoughtssnow_van
  • dril
      wint @dril

    nerd with lame attitude: North Korea is bad
    Me: Have you ever lived there.
    nerd: (his glasses fall off)
    Me: Catch you later

    • 3,905
    • FAVS
    duyarvishJM_W16hippieswordfishethannublemattmgardnermuscularscroteunderdougsinfurnal
    • 1,775
    • RETWEETS
    alecisntcoolethannublemattmgardneryaz4nsanxbileTysonBoydamidnas_imp_asscoolgarydotnet
@dril

@dril

rat with human face given medal by world health organization