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if your grave doesnt say "rest in peace" on it you are automatically drafted into the skeleton war
big bird was obviously just a man in a suit. but the other ones were too small to contain men. so what the fuck
blocked. blocked. blocked. youre all blocked. none of you are free of sin
awfully bold of you to fly the Good Year blimp on a year that has been extremely bad thus far
another day volunteering at the betsy ross museum. everyone keeps asking me if they can fuck the flag. buddy, they wont even let me fuck it
(cop inspecting his new body cam with huge pepperoni fingers) what the fuck is htis. where do i pack the ammo. is this a new type of grenade
donlad trump reportedly says that normal type pokemon are a waste of time. they're just dirty birds & rats who have no right being a pokemon
"This Whole Thing Smacks Of Gender," i holler as i overturn my uncle's barbeque grill and turn the 4th of July into the 4th of Shit
the numa numa man just bougt a $70million house and im here at the library trying to photocopy a fruit roll up
the doctor reveals my blood pressure is 420 over 69. i hoot & holler outta the building while a bunch of losers try to tell me that im dying
fuck "jokes". everything i tweet is real. raw insight without the horse shit. no, i will NOT follow trolls. twitter dot com. i live for this
THERAPIST: your problem is, that youre perfect, and everyone is jealous of your good posts, and that makes you rightfully upset.
ME: I agree
TWITTER APP: THree different guys you know just faved the same damn tweet. This is breathtaking. What are the odds
ME: please locate my wife
"Is Wario A Libertarian" - the greatest thread in the history of forums, locked by a moderator after 12,239 pages of heated debate,
BOSS TELLS ME I CAN KISS MY FERRETS AT WORK, BUT NO OPEN MOUTH. I PUNCH THE FLOOR SO HARD HIS SCREEN SAVER DEACTIVATES
the jduge orders me to take off my anonymous v mask & im wearing the joker makeup underneath it. everyone in the courtroom groans at my shit
me: nobody has to get owned today. please, please put down the keyboard and step back
9 year old child: Fuck oyu
Bugs Bunny: B
Elmer Fudd: A-
Tweety Bird: F
Daffy Duck: C+
Porky Pig: D+
Theyre the only ones i can think of right now. My hands are shaking
pregnant Hog measurer - cyberAngel , respecter of Clarity
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