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  • dril
      wint @dril

    if your grave doesnt say "rest in peace" on it you are automatically drafted into the skeleton war

    • 11k
    • FAVS
    geoffglaabCameronWall_dontminkandriveEagleEye1906millerrice_thquietthingsmattheinbaughstretchyXcheeze
    • 10k
    • RETWEETS
    PeterCarlonedontminkandriveEagleEye1906tonedeafvoicethquietthingsyungdemarcoEVAUNIT_02wondroushippo
    FuckTypingAmSockoctoqtshruglorddavedittell
  • dril
      wint @dril

    big bird was obviously just a man in a suit. but the other ones were too small to contain men. so what the fuck

    • 10k
    • FAVS
    cflazolrcpllyLaReineMargot_ShartShitmantrav_bertrhysjamesyprakticenalbradyaction
    • 6,058
    • RETWEETS
    cflazocooldamnschultzcanadian_buoyprakticenalJackAsHellDatJohnDonfcnquotesc_selby
    TheTweetParrotyeahsometimesJermHimselfishDickPicSender
  • dril
      wint @dril

    Food $200
    Data $150
    Rent $800
    Candles $3,600
    Utility $150
    someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my family is dying

    • 8,001
    • FAVS
    ALF_from_TVcwlbraalpetey18brianshoopcdlgirl_a_whirldrew_hollanddwsNY
    • 5,442
    • RETWEETS
    yungdemarcostretchyXcheezeiluvdemstripprsmagnifishcentlpetey18JamesBusherwaldron76cdl
    vapelord69
  • dril
      wint @dril

    awfully bold of you to fly the Good Year blimp on a year that has been extremely bad thus far

    • 5,916
    • FAVS
    kristenthousandLetdownLizziemtlnxlpetey18leducvioletjaksimp12The_LnKKLobstar
    • 3,445
    • RETWEETS
    Peculiar_Skishorts_as_heckLetdownLizzieNosferROSStuufoprincess00lpetey18OfficialBrohossNotQuiteLuke
  • dril
      wint @dril

    another day volunteering at the betsy ross museum. everyone keeps asking me if they can fuck the flag. buddy, they wont even let me fuck it

    • 6,093
    • FAVS
    BecksWelkerCanderman1lejaguarAlexSchmidtyNathanBgoodadurrrsearchseatedkaratebmcduff7
    • 2,917
    • RETWEETS
    RapGameShanestretchyXcheezecasey_stoddardCorianderSleuthTuffyMcFliamxtrapgodchristinawilderRednckTruckrHat
    kDuncanGz_a_c_h_k_a_t_zironisktvitBeverlyCleary69lawblobshruglordAmSockactualjellyfishGarbageMysticgubbinsgubbins____
  • dril
      wint @dril

    the doctor reveals my blood pressure is 420 over 69. i hoot & holler outta the building while a bunch of losers try to tell me that im dying

    • 4,993
    • FAVS
    yungdemarcoclark_houselpetey18alliegaskinTrentonHyattRurfsdrew_hollandSilasEgan
    • 3,459
    • RETWEETS
    nomadikyllpetey18Kefkysamknight1JakeBeauchampJoeEchinopsisnick_roadesmistermcgee9
    R_Schmittyoctoqtmojo_ca
  • dril
      wint @dril

    fuck "jokes". everything i tweet is real. raw insight without the horse shit. no, i will NOT follow trolls. twitter dot com. i live for this

    • 5,000
    • FAVS
    boominonionkudekinickopopslpetey18Gold_Beaverfabulosomaxhasthoughtsrazorjack
    • 3,173
    • RETWEETS
    lpetey18gamagoorishipstersandwichBerlinWalrusuglywhitedudeJimJarmuschHairtrash_ebooksRealRedRoss
    lesterfreamonsunfilterlanyardiganJermHimselfishCoolBabyRatoctoqtSimon_BarrettpissGoblinAceMakesWordslosdrogasHermit_Thrushi_have_4_dickslawblobfartLindzetadisaster_dogjitkavincenessrare_basementSlennon_
  • dril
      wint @dril

    BOSS TELLS ME I CAN KISS MY FERRETS AT WORK, BUT NO OPEN MOUTH. I PUNCH THE FLOOR SO HARD HIS SCREEN SAVER DEACTIVATES

    • 5,048
    • FAVS
    clark_househermionesbuttlpetey18Kpaxxmike_as_hellRurfspraxisdoerHighwayCorsair
    • 2,835
    • RETWEETS
    PeterCarloneahseederBalognaDanzaJohn_Lytleclark_househermionesbuttlpetey18Kpaxx
    DamnItsTrillUpturnedBathtubEvaGisellebriangaarneatdeerGHOSTBONESrobfeefartslimepuke__
  • dril
      wint @dril

    The reason the "Cars" movies have gained so much popularity is becuase the cars speak to one another. You don't get that with real life cars

    • 4,652
    • FAVS
    number1weedguybucketsdntliesteezybongShuddertrixVHudgensFan2385mattierosestobykeithsweatthekenriegel
    • 3,111
    • RETWEETS
    beverage_cartstranger_callsPharaohRebmanAbeBromanKatharosCumTheRogerCohenlpetey180ssaid
    DavidRaymondT__
  • dril
      wint @dril

    sick of our media's unrealistic portrayal of Boomerangs , which are weak as shit in real life

    • 4,387
    • FAVS
    Gristlemanialpetey18TrentonHyattrubenluthmanTweesTweetsinkySam_KeadyPhilGalfond
    • 2,816
    • RETWEETS
    violentlycarTrentonHyattFlyLikeAHearonlettuce_fetishdunndunndunnckkkkaayjustnisdeadTheAmitie
  • dril
      wint @dril

    stonehenge actually sucks and i hope someone pushes those rocks the hell over real soon

    • 4,287
    • FAVS
    AlfonzopancakesdungbootleprakticenalbrvdleypbBuffaloBeltsme_irllpetey18danieljayz
    • 2,729
    • RETWEETS
    CollinAmbuIanceian_ericksondudehellnoianpaulidanieljayzCharlotteOfOzthomcrowleysuppydanny
  • dril
      wint @dril

    THERAPIST: your problem is, that youre perfect, and everyone is jealous of your good posts, and that makes you rightfully upset.
    ME: I agree

    • 4,320
    • FAVS
    jorD_hibutt_hamsamjrockvampiirraabreakthesystemEstebandagreatmrandrewmorganKingWereBear
    • 2,609
    • RETWEETS
    allyysonduckduckjoshDickDankstardlytech_beefcakeZdollaz09HyperEntityrawcowmilkmouvvves
  • dril
      wint @dril

    i am selling six beautfiul, extremely ill, white horses. they no longer recognize me as their father, and are the Burden of my life

    • 4,522
    • FAVS
    jiveturkeyseaneds2104TrainfireshanopovapopbrujitabugCameronSchottlpetey18jennawestling
    • 2,354
    • RETWEETS
    jiveturkeyseantyler_belisleHowMuchForGoatCameronSchottMegaWattManbeef_targetmoonpolysoftdaissychains
  • dril
      wint @dril

    "This Whole Thing Smacks Of Gender," i holler as i overturn my uncle's barbeque grill and turn the 4th of July into the 4th of Shit

    • 3,901
    • FAVS
    lpetey18HarryKingscoterubenluthmanMooseXLFlyLikeAHearonjamieoktkaitlynsupletstradesouls
    • 2,781
    • RETWEETS
    HarryKingscotebauhausbitchcarolineyallLydiaBurrellteen_deadFlyLikeAHearonSpread_Eagle_17tombrodude
    earfdaeoctoqtloveletterbombs
  • dril
      wint @dril

    "Is Wario A Libertarian" - the greatest thread in the history of forums, locked by a moderator after 12,239 pages of heated debate,

    • 3,870
    • FAVS
    aloegootweet_this_69makjaksweetmercurychav_whitcherLearlessFeaderjoseph_wildebhends10
    • 2,744
    • RETWEETS
    TheRogerCohenkadian1365irrevilentDoubleEntAndrewAlexDJonessecretworm4everunrustledtekdahped
    BromanConsulgoodasspostsSweetTweetsBROpjlynchshruglordactualjellyfishWeedCoffin
  • dril
      wint @dril

    AS THE GUILLOTINE SLIDES TOWARDS MY NECK, I PRODUCE A TINY BARBELL I'VE BEEN HIDING IN MY MOUTH AND LIFT IT WITH MY TONGUE. ONE LAST REP

    • 4,259
    • FAVS
    PT_Swagbag93therealangelacoalexxxaroseeTheConleyTheRealJono1SonOfKellydadakinRedDeviIs
    • 2,226
    • RETWEETS
    clayzahhhJohn_LytleKawaiiFatherPT_Swagbag93TheRealJono1buttxcheeksam_reginaldbekndignum
    buttcafe
  • dril
      wint @dril

    nerd with lame attitude: North Korea is bad
    Me: Have you ever lived there.
    nerd: (his glasses fall off)
    Me: Catch you later

    • 4,358
    • FAVS
    eds2104shanopovapopyaboydilrubenluthmanmysterneeBASTIAN________ianmart1nmrreptoid
    • 1,958
    • RETWEETS
    juresDan_the_Man_73clark_housejorD_hirenegadeDAkier_abshysamelpanemotionalpimp
  • dril
      wint @dril

    i get dozens of compliments about my perfect ears every day. it's llike Shut the fuck up. Im trying to eat a bagel in my car and you do this

    • 4,219
    • FAVS
    JoshIsntHappysomecleverthingpainted_eelworstonlinemanmayalowybucketsdntliebennettfeelySerpentineZERO
    • 1,972
    • RETWEETS
    clayzahhhJoshIsntHappypainted_eelthemilonesbittToshvahVeryCleverRuseGreatDudGuyHashtagBet
  • dril
      wint @dril

    my favorite part of nascar is when I vomit all over my shirt and car after the race., desecrating the logos of the brands that enslave me

    • 4,478
    • FAVS
    kingoffthebeachPackyLundholmThe_LnKtinglyfingers2Sexiii4Uhenry_iblisbonesrubowalshofshame
    • 1,668
    • RETWEETS
    chrisjooniorteen__babyeos420gtwerkrobotuglywhitedudeswept__awayFlyLikeAHearonkaitlynsup
  • dril
      wint @dril

    i call evbery four-legged animal I see a dog and I am correct more often than not so I will never stop

    • 3,797
    • FAVS
    ProbablyLenayungdemarcoThe_LnKtwerkrobotinkySavonnahtgothhandjobKillMikeWhitey
    • 2,236
    • RETWEETS
    magnifishcentKawaiiFatherchrisjoonioreos420gtwerkrobotGeezGrecocollinvandyckblinsay
@dril

@dril

rat with human face given medal by world health organization