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  • dril
      wint @dril

    if your grave doesnt say "rest in peace" on it you are automatically drafted into the skeleton war

    • 8,916
    • FAVS
    FavstardomChaseBowesgrantmundaygoldbluhmmister_smileyjujueyeballnotwoosleyNoelleEliza
    • 7,891
    • RETWEETS
    ImOnCrystalSethaaronsharma_alleelawrencegoldbluhmsushi_goatmermanmotelmike_shorolookinmook
    FuckTypingAmSockoctoqtshruglorddavedittell
  • dril
      wint @dril

    Food $200
    Data $150
    Rent $800
    Candles $3,600
    Utility $150
    someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my family is dying

    • 6,939
    • FAVS
    jaymcn_rachelhlevyavbreymeatsock69conorrbyrnestanleykassuublogBlvckedout
    • 4,572
    • RETWEETS
    jaymcn_tomdre3000ImOnCrystalSethnaadiejachanonistastanleykasslukejcolelrcplly
    vapelord69
  • dril
      wint @dril

    big bird was obviously just a man in a suit. but the other ones were too small to contain men. so what the fuck

    • 6,758
    • FAVS
    urbandoggev4extremebunbainSoul_of_El_Toro_hojoKelsey_GwozdzsackstickShellocity
    • 4,077
    • RETWEETS
    urbandoggeJonTheDuelistfrikadellemannonlyhalfrobotDickkLegsInternetDustinbonesrubosubotnick
    TheTweetParrotyeahsometimesJermHimselfishDickPicSender
  • dril
      wint @dril

    another day volunteering at the betsy ross museum. everyone keeps asking me if they can fuck the flag. buddy, they wont even let me fuck it

    • 5,596
    • FAVS
    Favstardomthe_em_dashgrantmundaySickOutrunHeckaBrandonjrichiev2ThoughtOtterHashtagBet
    • 2,644
    • RETWEETS
    Paul_Bautistamichael_carter2dracuIoid___Veezusnickmanes1mermanmotelajnzbtAlecButModarn
    z_a_c_h_k_a_t_zironisktvitBeverlyCleary69lawblobshruglordAmSockactualjellyfishGarbageMysticgubbinsgubbins____
  • dril
      wint @dril

    fuck "jokes". everything i tweet is real. raw insight without the horse shit. no, i will NOT follow trolls. twitter dot com. i live for this

    • 4,788
    • FAVS
    FavstardomgrantmundaykevinWjohnsFerrraganRachelWEvansSpencerTuckerangelicastiffykylerselby
    • 3,027
    • RETWEETS
    FavstardompostcpnjazzcoreSweetPatoot1arrsaynobesbenAlexIsCool69G0bunJayDogon
    lesterfreamonsunfilterlanyardiganJermHimselfishCoolBabyRatoctoqtSimon_BarrettpissGoblinAceMakesWordslosdrogasHermit_Thrushi_have_4_dickslawblobfartLindzetadisaster_dogjitkavincenessrare_basementSlennon_
  • dril
      wint @dril

    the doctor reveals my blood pressure is 420 over 69. i hoot & holler outta the building while a bunch of losers try to tell me that im dying

    • 4,593
    • FAVS
    bhends10grantmundayKevinHughes_aayamsdogfoodemeryfm182dgmckimAnvitalitytheboatsofus
    • 3,178
    • RETWEETS
    michael_carter2dgmckimAnvitalityWhy_HisbellookinmookMMcWeeny95derekmbartonSaxt0n
    R_Schmittyoctoqtmojo_ca
  • dril
      wint @dril

    awfully bold of you to fly the Good Year blimp on a year that has been extremely bad thus far

    • 4,782
    • FAVS
    ShakeAndBlake95grantmundaycapitaljizzmAndyKlimacticjoelgolbyDog_Marriagemad0msamelpan
    • 2,865
    • RETWEETS
    ImOnCrystalSethcapitaljizzmTomBrocothegncnomadikylbraketmermanmotelmad0m
  • dril
      wint @dril

    The reason the "Cars" movies have gained so much popularity is becuase the cars speak to one another. You don't get that with real life cars

    • 4,338
    • FAVS
    grantmundayMortShootReportcexmangDillin523obi_ian_kenobimothertherisawhoiscelinesidney_rogers
    • 2,933
    • RETWEETS
    rachiesanDynamicDaeganChloeLilyCaaronsharma_lookinmookevasive_whalelegantrahobi_ian_kenobi
    DavidRaymondT__
  • dril
      wint @dril

    BOSS TELLS ME I CAN KISS MY FERRETS AT WORK, BUT NO OPEN MOUTH. I PUNCH THE FLOOR SO HARD HIS SCREEN SAVER DEACTIVATES

    • 4,488
    • FAVS
    ChaseBowesgrantmundayLUKiHiGHROLLERkraypetVictorianPrudeunderscoreflashJackTinironsveikill
    • 2,493
    • RETWEETS
    WolkenTeilerLUKiHiGHROLLERkraypetMGMEARSunderscoreflashlookinmookcoffeeedrinkerrealhumanskull
    DamnItsTrillUpturnedBathtubEvaGisellebriangaarneatdeerGHOSTBONESrobfeefartslimepuke
  • dril
      wint @dril

    sick of our media's unrealistic portrayal of Boomerangs , which are weak as shit in real life

    • 4,086
    • FAVS
    B_RabSadoskyHipsterTrudyShakeAndBlake95Meat_spoon_SnickerSnackdandouglasM_Grube49dheiny39
    • 2,641
    • RETWEETS
    urbandoggeonehalfhuman_ughHugs_SnickerSnackscottruconichdandouglasJoePettit2EndhooS
  • dril
      wint @dril

    "This Whole Thing Smacks Of Gender," i holler as i overturn my uncle's barbeque grill and turn the 4th of July into the 4th of Shit

    • 3,842
    • FAVS
    retgoneMikeAnissimovgrantmundaySam_Keadydr_dongsmarirhsmikedelicev__n
    • 2,733
    • RETWEETS
    BeastMammothMemberOfSpeciesSeriousSanchezvincenesslookinmookberryh3hBottomlessPeteasukalangley
    earfdaeoctoqtloveletterbombs
  • dril
      wint @dril

    i am selling six beautfiul, extremely ill, white horses. they no longer recognize me as their father, and are the Burden of my life

    • 4,100
    • FAVS
    samklageChrisGiustoHarrisownAdamGunther22tekdahpedellenmeowiebingtoolbarofaulsy
    • 2,101
    • RETWEETS
    GOOSEFreemansamklagesilenthiIIAdamGunther22ajnzbtbingtoolbarsuxannaduIWearClothes
  • dril
      wint @dril

    AS THE GUILLOTINE SLIDES TOWARDS MY NECK, I PRODUCE A TINY BARBELL I'VE BEEN HIDING IN MY MOUTH AND LIFT IT WITH MY TONGUE. ONE LAST REP

    • 3,985
    • FAVS
    hughes_atecydroFemeryfm182GiantSheepsMattDoppykyngvenushogand1216sanjangles
    • 2,086
    • RETWEETS
    lookinmookSaxt0nethannublesanjanglesOfficial_Costco5urdMikeBeasCISHETPRIDE
    buttcafe
  • dril
      wint @dril

    "Is Wario A Libertarian" - the greatest thread in the history of forums, locked by a moderator after 12,239 pages of heated debate,

    • 3,516
    • FAVS
    anamericangodbrostoevskyMarc_NormandinTHE_REAL_PBUTThiggitybosonemeryfm182Elladudzwavegrave
    • 2,491
    • RETWEETS
    bekndignummallgrungedgmckimbdorfmanbrittanyforks90sPlebJay_Fury_absomni
    BromanConsulgoodasspostsSweetTweetsBROpjlynchshruglordactualjellyfishWeedCoffin
  • dril
      wint @dril

    my favorite part of nascar is when I vomit all over my shirt and car after the race., desecrating the logos of the brands that enslave me

    • 4,304
    • FAVS
    FavstardomChaseBowesghostofdogohholybuttSeanMcElweerachiesangrantmundayhughes_at
    • 1,603
    • RETWEETS
    FavstardomEthan_Bookerdunndunndunnmike_shorolookinmookjackfappletonk8bushactionshackson
  • dril
      wint @dril

    i get dozens of compliments about my perfect ears every day. it's llike Shut the fuck up. Im trying to eat a bagel in my car and you do this

    • 4,030
    • FAVS
    Femme_et_alSeanMcElweegrantmundayLUKiHiGHROLLERemeryfm182ThijsMeASpoons35BeradFaraday
    • 1,877
    • RETWEETS
    joeythefargodunndunndunnLUKiHiGHROLLERangryjewishgirlkraypetRobbie_gr1CleverGirl1WhatevaConc
  • dril
      wint @dril

    i call evbery four-legged animal I see a dog and I am correct more often than not so I will never stop

    • 3,628
    • FAVS
    ShakeAndBlake95YoungCaesar2000dunndunndunncapitaljizzmemeryfm182instantloserMattDoppyBakahentai69
    • 2,148
    • RETWEETS
    whakahekehekecapitaljizzmmermanmotellookinmookarieelroseeGrizzlyAdams16legantrahk8bush
  • dril
      wint @dril

    nerd with lame attitude: North Korea is bad
    Me: Have you ever lived there.
    nerd: (his glasses fall off)
    Me: Catch you later

    • 3,826
    • FAVS
    PFTCommenterChaseBowesmadaleine420grantmundayfast_ratdunndunndunncharliebossyInquisitorMusic
    • 1,731
    • RETWEETS
    IWearClotheswhakahekehekedjazzk_KafkaesquebarometrowarmpoopholecrulgeCrashRowdy
  • dril
      wint @dril

    bring me your dead pet and i will make a sword out of it for $39

    • 3,472
    • FAVS
    annnaelisebingtoolbargrantmundayMychalKitchenc_rt_rtylermcjunkin26hellaannabellaemeryfm182
    • 1,921
    • RETWEETS
    MychalKitchentylermcjunkin26warmpoopholeayyrosymermanmotelturboviscositymike_shoroPOETICSCARECROW
  • dril
      wint @dril

    a "keg" is teenspeak for a large barrel of the vile drug known as "Beer". they can be as tall as 12 ft and are often used to crush policemen

    • 3,408
    • FAVS
    looney_binSeanMcElweemojo_cagrantmundayInquisitorMusiccapitaljizzmjoeftakDog_Marriage
    • 1,913
    • RETWEETS
    a_cute_bugInquisitorMusiccapitaljizzmdgmckimlookinmookdracuIoidarieelroseesecretcorndog
@dril

@dril

rat with human face given medal by world health organization