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  • dril
      wint @dril

    if your grave doesnt say "rest in peace" on it you are automatically drafted into the skeleton war

    • 8,567
    • FAVS
    badluckbreeding_postMattInAGlassjackcphelpssnovvvhitekyliebabyxoxjenicastrifeGr3yZer0
    • 7,495
    • RETWEETS
    teenagecholabadluckbreeAntDiPalmateethfallingoutding_postMattInAGlassGr3yZer0ANALyticAPriori
    FuckTypingAmSockoctoqtshruglorddavedittell
  • dril
      wint @dril

    Food $200
    Data $150
    Rent $800
    Candles $3,600
    Utility $150
    someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my family is dying

    • 6,388
    • FAVS
    EdsonOSXa_cute_bugBenevanstanchaTheConley4yourHELLshrekfacedkillakrelbelrobo_junkie
    • 4,149
    • RETWEETS
    michaeldgnroEdsonOSX4yourHELLyallmusbgaysinol_KonyMandelaLeanSalesman1v1rustfaggot
    vapelord69
  • dril
      wint @dril

    big bird was obviously just a man in a suit. but the other ones were too small to contain men. so what the fuck

    • 6,271
    • FAVS
    krelbelsadieolson_archemarcheNotRayRomanoChandlerRosendaDISCOBALLISONPatDoran69hannahfears
    • 3,743
    • RETWEETS
    filmnoirxDrTracksuitjadelynfordaysPatDoran69lizardmcguireTRASHBlNHGGolightlyKimberrrrrrrr
    yeahsometimesJermHimselfishDickPicSender
  • dril
      wint @dril

    another day volunteering at the betsy ross museum. everyone keeps asking me if they can fuck the flag. buddy, they wont even let me fuck it

    • 5,384
    • FAVS
    SmokeyQRiversSlewFootersjozsereyesshutupmikeginncorporationdudeThree_NinjassuperkamioBendersBrain
    • 2,542
    • RETWEETS
    bread_thingCarlRadbunnypanicattacking_victanolhugecargoshortsYAO_LOLDribblesHansenCumWitch
    z_a_c_h_k_a_t_zironisktvitBeverlyCleary69lawblobshruglordAmSockactualjellyfishGarbageMysticgubbinsgubbins____
  • dril
      wint @dril

    the doctor reveals my blood pressure is 420 over 69. i hoot & holler outta the building while a bunch of losers try to tell me that im dying

    • 4,453
    • FAVS
    krelbelSlewFootersjozsereyeskylerselbypanicattacking_haunterdadvictanolT2KAZUYA
    • 3,082
    • RETWEETS
    MichaelTFHSlewFootersadamgethinpanicattacking_haunterdadvictanolCybernemicCaptainACAB
    R_Schmittyoctoqtmojo_ca
  • dril
      wint @dril

    fuck "jokes". everything i tweet is real. raw insight without the horse shit. no, i will NOT follow trolls. twitter dot com. i live for this

    • 4,447
    • FAVS
    ShlembavictanolEgan___PoppaRainaphantomdukeTraneWreck4muscularpikachudeclanmc
    • 2,846
    • RETWEETS
    victanolbenjiclaytonreverendmalibuKelsey_Gwozdzhome_likercrystalblistershbqosmnmoondepot
    lesterfreamonsunfilterlanyardiganJermHimselfishCoolBabyRatoctoqtSimon_BarrettpissGoblinAceMakesWordslosdrogasHermit_Thrushi_have_4_dickslawblobfartLindzetadisaster_dogjitkavincenessrare_basementSlennon_
  • dril
      wint @dril

    BOSS TELLS ME I CAN KISS MY FERRETS AT WORK, BUT NO OPEN MOUTH. I PUNCH THE FLOOR SO HARD HIS SCREEN SAVER DEACTIVATES

    • 4,426
    • FAVS
    SnoopBradleyjwoodhamSpencerTuckerelijah2icyHome_HalfwayDanielRCarrillokrelbeljozsereyes
    • 2,477
    • RETWEETS
    Hoite89MeatyPunkANALyticAPrioriblink_clyr0panicattacking_MNXVIII_69JerGordondotcomAngelaLovesNY
    DamnItsTrillUpturnedBathtubEvaGisellebriangaarneatdeerGHOSTBONESrobfeefartslimepuke
  • dril
      wint @dril

    The reason the "Cars" movies have gained so much popularity is becuase the cars speak to one another. You don't get that with real life cars

    • 4,024
    • FAVS
    kirabiraBarnitoSupreme9daylenyanggabughaidakylevenatashantonepanicattacking_GeorgePresdee
    • 2,726
    • RETWEETS
    AlecButModarnBarnitoSupreme9AntDiPalmakyleveJeremyTylerGvictanollifeisadonutPariendoLetras
    DavidRaymondT
  • dril
      wint @dril

    "This Whole Thing Smacks Of Gender," i holler as i overturn my uncle's barbeque grill and turn the 4th of July into the 4th of Shit

    • 3,695
    • FAVS
    ian_suxxxxKatraHighergodlrod2panicattacking_lifeisadonutgriffin_so_coolsteveroggenbuckunintelligibl3
    • 2,636
    • RETWEETS
    sus_as_helllifeisadonutweed_mouseDrewJacobsenpartiepigheape22NielJacobyspurlygurlz
    earfdaeoctoqtloveletterbombs
  • dril
      wint @dril

    i get dozens of compliments about my perfect ears every day. it's llike Shut the fuck up. Im trying to eat a bagel in my car and you do this

    • 3,673
    • FAVS
    ryannoyedswishybigmacdefaultxrTomHanksIsHotkawaiilieCellmateBeau_IRLcamdubya13
    • 1,697
    • RETWEETS
    ryannoyedthin_citiesNlNACOLADAsavxnnastyRevolvtionsteethfallingoutAntDiPalmaCellmate
  • dril
      wint @dril

    AS THE GUILLOTINE SLIDES TOWARDS MY NECK, I PRODUCE A TINY BARBELL I'VE BEEN HIDING IN MY MOUTH AND LIFT IT WITH MY TONGUE. ONE LAST REP

    • 3,466
    • FAVS
    krelbelian_suxxxxjozsereyesMeatyPunkhamskiipanicattacking_RickshawCrawlifeisadonut
    • 1,824
    • RETWEETS
    JeremyTylerGpanicattacking_RickshawCrawlifeisadonutsIeepyweepypeachhugsToastCrustDrewJacobsen
    buttcafe
  • dril
      wint @dril

    awfully bold of you to fly the Good Year blimp on a year that has been extremely bad thus far

    • 3,270
    • FAVS
    actuallyawfultwelveyearsoldCarverCrisisWWonkaHatesYoucuboid64cal50moltenfunktnordz
    • 1,972
    • RETWEETS
    _discobloodbathfaIIawaycuboid64higgs_bosomBlackIsTheNewMeStevenGelisWyanRilsonInterstellarFUK
  • dril
      wint @dril

    two men emerge from sensory deprivation tanks
    "I just attained oneness with all living beings"
    "I just fucked the Girl rabbit from SpaceJam"

    • 3,530
    • FAVS
    mad0mGobroksdpatrickgmr_bobloblawSlewFootersMeatyPunkCabetoMejiapanicattacking_
    • 1,624
    • RETWEETS
    panicattacking_hugecargoshortsIrateGamerShowtwelverpeeberMackerelSodagermknodelsDanCoolMoonGuyjoeftak
    AmSock
  • dril
      wint @dril

    "Is Wario A Libertarian" - the greatest thread in the history of forums, locked by a moderator after 12,239 pages of heated debate,

    • 2,938
    • FAVS
    jozsereyesbryuk420kylerselbypanicattacking_RickshawCrawhugecargoshortss_stanwaylifeisadonut
    • 2,154
    • RETWEETS
    bryuk420OfficialDonxBLCKMSSHpanicattacking_lifeisadonutalmightyvarnesmuddymudskippermacjaeh
    bugpunchSweetTweetsBROpjlynchshruglordactualjellyfishWeedCoffin
  • dril
      wint @dril

    i call evbery four-legged animal I see a dog and I am correct more often than not so I will never stop

    • 3,165
    • FAVS
    jakeinsideRRON_tnordzrosievevonoahltLaurenRoeeMikeTheDevineNotNotMaurice
    • 1,862
    • RETWEETS
    nedschneeblysrosievevoptrLaurenRoeej_ohn89trayculeteethfallingoutKalironi
  • dril
      wint @dril

    donald trump has no time to fuck. he looks at his watch and says "i could not possibly fuck at this juncture." as he powerwalks into the zoo

    • 3,545
    • FAVS
    Milfislandkaykaymourfailjuiceagentkonybanksslvmpsome_capybarasmacisaacEros_V
    • 1,381
    • RETWEETS
    dansumptionflabberdacksteethfallingoutblauralumTheFunkodileKatana_PunkWhymzevector_crimes
    DUSTINAM
  • dril
      wint @dril

    a "keg" is teenspeak for a large barrel of the vile drug known as "Beer". they can be as tall as 12 ft and are often used to crush policemen

    • 3,082
    • FAVS
    jakeinsidekrelbelbekndignumbbbbutttnordzJimmyWhiteeGoingHard_ingergurskyman
    • 1,776
    • RETWEETS
    kyleamartinmallgrungeAntDiPalmaweebabyshamusTheEasterNiggaThis_IsAustinteethfallingoutJevinKeffers
  • dril
      wint @dril

    my favorite part of nascar is when I vomit all over my shirt and car after the race., desecrating the logos of the brands that enslave me

    • 3,467
    • FAVS
    ryannoyedMegAlexander19JeremyTylerGirlrascalcamdubya13ecydroFhipstersandwichberntlenz
    • 1,344
    • RETWEETS
    kyleamartintheboatsofusFengxiipanicattacking_zzapKeithFavrevery_abstractwordplayball
  • dril
      wint @dril

    caught my son running a google search for " shit stain pussy ". i am beyond distraught. we are strictly a Bing family

    • 3,171
    • FAVS
    krelbeldpatrickgMarc_NormandinJeremyTylerGhamskiipanicattacking_RickshawCrawUntrails
    • 1,505
    • RETWEETS
    sus_as_hellTheBabyJaysusspiral_scratchfrat_father_freshwasabiMackerelSodaJ_CullensNamelessRanger
    partiallyproKosmatos
  • dril
      wint @dril

    THE COP GROWLS "TAKE OFF TH OSE JEANS, CITIZEN." I COMPLY, REVEALING THE FULL LENGTH DENIM TATTOOS ON BOTH LEGS. THE COP SCREAMS; DEFEATED

    • 2,824
    • FAVS
    jozsereyesJeremyTylerGpanicattacking_lifeisadonutmindtrapforeverZeppoWilburyTraneWreck4meeple_
    • 1,847
    • RETWEETS
    JeremyTylerGlifeisadonutsurf_goth69AlecButModarnZeppoWilburyt_crayfordpowerfulshampooMrTrentonComedy
    NeutronDreDankHerbMulletslimepukeMrPapaya__________danieleastman
@dril

@dril

rat with human face given medal by world health organization