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  • dril
      wint @dril

    if your grave doesnt say "rest in peace" on it you are automatically drafted into the skeleton war

    • 9,517
    • FAVS
    thetomzoneMegVaMeGuardRabbitwearegrootjessharknessxoSaul1245HashtagBetwilliaint
    • 8,398
    • RETWEETS
    LindseeeyLouuwearegrootHashtagBetSweetPatootGOOSEFreemanmeloghosttttMrColinYeWestslambunctious
    FuckTypingAmSockoctoqtshruglorddavedittell
  • dril
      wint @dril

    Food $200
    Data $150
    Rent $800
    Candles $3,600
    Utility $150
    someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my family is dying

    • 7,035
    • FAVS
    ptr_krlsrdBJL0kenGeneralvaffelMegVaMelndividualsranndrewkDuncanG8C
    • 4,651
    • RETWEETS
    TarequnlndividualsMatCroGOOSEFreeman_janinarafaeltone765TheYungNastySneakernets
    vapelord69
  • dril
      wint @dril

    big bird was obviously just a man in a suit. but the other ones were too small to contain men. so what the fuck

    • 6,821
    • FAVS
    JosDebesteJamesNvrTweetsstinkythecat1Saul1245AbbytheGroovyohcasebeerconor_cymexClint_Bing
    • 4,142
    • RETWEETS
    KolonelBJosDebesteBurds_1iknowbryeinsomnialIgaryfromteenmomHashtagBetwildebeast913
    TheTweetParrotyeahsometimesJermHimselfishDickPicSender
  • dril
      wint @dril

    awfully bold of you to fly the Good Year blimp on a year that has been extremely bad thus far

    • 5,700
    • FAVS
    brandonjpnin_the_gaslightcushbombaklingusTwintertturtledovejonesdjfilipponelyndsey_hatch
    • 3,313
    • RETWEETS
    lyndsey_hatchheytherecoreSpaldingBallsRocket_ChipsGobineramorallythe_gwallaIsaacCorley
  • dril
      wint @dril

    another day volunteering at the betsy ross museum. everyone keeps asking me if they can fuck the flag. buddy, they wont even let me fuck it

    • 5,617
    • FAVS
    fresh_patrikMegVaMeranndrewchilipeppirsHommusapiendylanbarcusnicfit75scrirc
    • 2,662
    • RETWEETS
    TheBrightEffectfresh_patrikTheZaharaDesertABurgerADaykDuncanGreturntovendorhaleysfallingTheVeryBestDad
    kDuncanGz_a_c_h_k_a_t_zironisktvitBeverlyCleary69lawblobshruglordAmSockactualjellyfishGarbageMysticgubbinsgubbins____
  • dril
      wint @dril

    the doctor reveals my blood pressure is 420 over 69. i hoot & holler outta the building while a bunch of losers try to tell me that im dying

    • 4,700
    • FAVS
    tsayvsMegVaMetheflatteststanfjmikacranndrewkDuncanGkvntellisZeppoWilbury
    • 3,247
    • RETWEETS
    boringwolftheflatteststanpatrick__obrienZeppoWilburyrminadmmattierosesAbeBromanweed_mouse
    R_Schmittyoctoqtmojo_ca
  • dril
      wint @dril

    fuck "jokes". everything i tweet is real. raw insight without the horse shit. no, i will NOT follow trolls. twitter dot com. i live for this

    • 4,804
    • FAVS
    StardustIdiotrminadmrorydangerjoyceajnzbtprncssmiamichaeldgnrojawshoeahhhCUM_SOCK
    • 3,035
    • RETWEETS
    calebsi10misterjamoTHEM0NZTAFavstardompostcpnjazzcoreSweetPatoot1arrsaynobesben
    lesterfreamonsunfilterlanyardiganJermHimselfishCoolBabyRatoctoqtSimon_BarrettpissGoblinAceMakesWordslosdrogasHermit_Thrushi_have_4_dickslawblobfartLindzetadisaster_dogjitkavincenessrare_basementSlennon_
  • dril
      wint @dril

    The reason the "Cars" movies have gained so much popularity is becuase the cars speak to one another. You don't get that with real life cars

    • 4,435
    • FAVS
    ranndrewrorydangerjoyceNick_FrostYesReallyAngelajnzbtfrance_xiiiwilliaintMIARRed
    • 2,991
    • RETWEETS
    recklessfarmerSweetPatootGOOSEFreemanhvnlydazepatchak21Bossben45kalamataoliviaNBB_0__0
    DavidRaymondT__
  • dril
      wint @dril

    BOSS TELLS ME I CAN KISS MY FERRETS AT WORK, BUT NO OPEN MOUTH. I PUNCH THE FLOOR SO HARD HIS SCREEN SAVER DEACTIVATES

    • 4,576
    • FAVS
    dhritzkivsamelpanbotazlabestiachanseyfanficvictorecabarrentheDanLawlerranndrewHashtagBet
    • 2,550
    • RETWEETS
    patchak21CaptainACABDeLaJohnstonpolytravellersnooze4loveOccamsblazer420prettybinladenbaccivorous
    DamnItsTrillUpturnedBathtubEvaGisellebriangaarneatdeerGHOSTBONESrobfeefartslimepuke
  • dril
      wint @dril

    sick of our media's unrealistic portrayal of Boomerangs , which are weak as shit in real life

    • 4,257
    • FAVS
    13browowh8yrgutsmisterHaderachranndrewprocracksnorter__Stivamad0mzarasaidane
    • 2,747
    • RETWEETS
    adamjmacdpatchak21h8yrgutsprocracksnorterSweetPatootIWearClothesDynamicDaeganLoanWolf_
  • dril
      wint @dril

    "This Whole Thing Smacks Of Gender," i holler as i overturn my uncle's barbeque grill and turn the 4th of July into the 4th of Shit

    • 3,861
    • FAVS
    tombroduderorydangerjoycestreet_doggeethe_gaming_kingbryanerikchrismetsTheVeryBestDadretgone
    • 2,742
    • RETWEETS
    patchak21SweetPatootthe_gaming_kingAlecButModarnPachydermousBeastMammothMemberOfSpeciesSeriousSanchez
    earfdaeoctoqtloveletterbombs
  • dril
      wint @dril

    i am selling six beautfiul, extremely ill, white horses. they no longer recognize me as their father, and are the Burden of my life

    • 4,230
    • FAVS
    ScouticusClarkpartymusclest_hillzRetroParamountrorydangerjoycePhilGalfondGr3yZer0word_boner
    • 2,167
    • RETWEETS
    ScouticusClarkpartymusclesFonseca_DavebaccivorousrorydangerjoyceSweetPatootBDZimmybutthoIe
  • dril
      wint @dril

    AS THE GUILLOTINE SLIDES TOWARDS MY NECK, I PRODUCE A TINY BARBELL I'VE BEEN HIDING IN MY MOUTH AND LIFT IT WITH MY TONGUE. ONE LAST REP

    • 4,053
    • FAVS
    beardofpreyranndrewchrisdinardo1HashtagBetopenchakrawilliaintwildebeast913SweetPatoot
    • 2,110
    • RETWEETS
    rich_robertsHashtagBetwildebeast913SweetPatootGOOSEFreemanburgeroiseAlecButModarndunndunndunn
    buttcafe
  • dril
      wint @dril

    my favorite part of nascar is when I vomit all over my shirt and car after the race., desecrating the logos of the brands that enslave me

    • 4,430
    • FAVS
    Burds_1ranndrewaintnothintofucTheRealZackAyenSaul1245rumnoggwilrettRealDrVenkman
    • 1,656
    • RETWEETS
    SweetPatoottylermcjunkin26dennisquaidfanSpiritGirlUsamiPat_Merca_cute_bugughHugsWOwillRO
  • dril
      wint @dril

    "Is Wario A Libertarian" - the greatest thread in the history of forums, locked by a moderator after 12,239 pages of heated debate,

    • 3,553
    • FAVS
    Burds_1ranndrewIamnotacopSaul1245RealDrVenkmandoktorpartyHamburgler08wildebeast913
    • 2,514
    • RETWEETS
    irlrascalriannnnnaHamburgler08wildebeast913SweetPatootAuxiliary_BroHEX_BOYFRIENDhomeschooldan
    BromanConsulgoodasspostsSweetTweetsBROpjlynchshruglordactualjellyfishWeedCoffin
  • dril
      wint @dril

    i get dozens of compliments about my perfect ears every day. it's llike Shut the fuck up. Im trying to eat a bagel in my car and you do this

    • 4,056
    • FAVS
    brushmaneerikaidcBurds_1ranndrewTheRealZackAyenSweetPatootGOOSEFreemanJenny_Loughman
    • 1,883
    • RETWEETS
    SweetPatoothomeschooldanAlecButModarnlorner96KatzewerferjoeythefargodunndunndunnLUKiHiGHROLLER
  • dril
      wint @dril

    i call evbery four-legged animal I see a dog and I am correct more often than not so I will never stop

    • 3,670
    • FAVS
    Burds_1ZettaToadranndrewIamnotacoprorydangerjoycestreet_doggeeopenchakraTheRealZackAyen
    • 2,169
    • RETWEETS
    gaffe_tapestreet_doggeeSweetPatootGOOSEFreemanEskins_86ajnzbtjusatkkretzko
  • dril
      wint @dril

    nerd with lame attitude: North Korea is bad
    Me: Have you ever lived there.
    nerd: (his glasses fall off)
    Me: Catch you later

    • 3,860
    • FAVS
    rich_robertsmisterHaderachranndrewaintnothintofucstreet_doggeejordawessomecollinwithtwoLswildebeast913
    • 1,741
    • RETWEETS
    SweetPatootpestonoireJoelFredinr_vidmarIWearClotheswhakahekehekedjazzk_Kafkaesque
  • dril
      wint @dril

    bring me your dead pet and i will make a sword out of it for $39

    • 3,530
    • FAVS
    jackielubinsonranndrewHashtagBetFancy_PuffinshaneduffnercollinwithtwoLsssarjoooSweetPatoot
    • 1,949
    • RETWEETS
    collinvandyckcollinwithtwoLsSweetPatootGOOSEFreemansindri_ukSpacekopdompartdadholes
  • dril
      wint @dril

    a "keg" is teenspeak for a large barrel of the vile drug known as "Beer". they can be as tall as 12 ft and are often used to crush policemen

    • 3,424
    • FAVS
    Burds_1ranndrewIamnotacopHashtagBetwilrettwildebeast913SweetPatootJenny_Loughman
    • 1,919
    • RETWEETS
    wildebeast913SweetPatootGOOSEFreemansodopesofreshTheVeryBestDada_cute_bugInquisitorMusiccapitaljizzm
@dril

@dril

rat with human face given medal by world health organization