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  • dril
      wint @dril

    if your grave doesnt say "rest in peace" on it you are automatically drafted into the skeleton war

    • 8,819
    • FAVS
    jackfrieschDISCOBALLISONCurvedDailynatarias7kylevearieelroseepaulttclihanEAD
    • 7,817
    • RETWEETS
    canniballanNyeBeverageCurvedDailyBurbyCottisWCARJACKETshoelerarieelroseepaulttc
    FuckTypingAmSockoctoqtshruglorddavedittell
  • dril
      wint @dril

    Food $200
    Data $150
    Rent $800
    Candles $3,600
    Utility $150
    someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my family is dying

    • 6,638
    • FAVS
    AlwaysWinning1LDMalmsad_treeCaraCompassmuckaluckahayesA_SternManLt_Dirty_Dan_fictionalorange
    • 4,364
    • RETWEETS
    NickalollyoffgourmetspudASAPBullwinkleBurbyCottiskebnshoelerkyliepetlakClint_Bing
    vapelord69
  • dril
      wint @dril

    big bird was obviously just a man in a suit. but the other ones were too small to contain men. so what the fuck

    • 6,633
    • FAVS
    FaceSweater1008kwamekubirealpatmcneilkyleveDeLaJohnstona_girl_irlalan_maguirenoghan
    • 4,007
    • RETWEETS
    FaceSweater1008ASAPBullwinklemelaniebranchalan_maguireandgoseekRaysAlGhulfictionalorangetyrionIannister
    TheTweetParrotyeahsometimesJermHimselfishDickPicSender
  • dril
      wint @dril

    another day volunteering at the betsy ross museum. everyone keeps asking me if they can fuck the flag. buddy, they wont even let me fuck it

    • 5,418
    • FAVS
    liquebotInanity101captainesqueehlmaosad_treejgoody13cigarettestinkle_buns
    • 2,552
    • RETWEETS
    FaceSweater1008verkfallDoctor_KrunkAndrewMorin67BongVivantpatrickeckhartmitch_hav_TheRogerCohen
    z_a_c_h_k_a_t_zironisktvitBeverlyCleary69lawblobshruglordAmSockactualjellyfishGarbageMysticgubbinsgubbins____
  • dril
      wint @dril

    fuck "jokes". everything i tweet is real. raw insight without the horse shit. no, i will NOT follow trolls. twitter dot com. i live for this

    • 4,736
    • FAVS
    FaceSweater1008jackfrieschetrian_veteranAlexIsCool69nathanieldalbymikedelicblemurspiegaltv
    • 2,969
    • RETWEETS
    etrian_veteranspiegaltvapplextreeDecayDJKwinnersusedrugsMammonMachinedizzyjoshhauntedculture
    lesterfreamonsunfilterlanyardiganJermHimselfishCoolBabyRatoctoqtSimon_BarrettpissGoblinAceMakesWordslosdrogasHermit_Thrushi_have_4_dickslawblobfartLindzetadisaster_dogjitkavincenessrare_basementSlennon_
  • dril
      wint @dril

    the doctor reveals my blood pressure is 420 over 69. i hoot & holler outta the building while a bunch of losers try to tell me that im dying

    • 4,498
    • FAVS
    RBlasavagefretzldecktonicJonBakerHolidayTormentDrShenaniganspookleblinkymitdasein
    • 3,118
    • RETWEETS
    JonBakerDrShenaniganspookleblinkymitdaseinDecayDJKFaceSweater1008adamjmacdAbsolutHysteria
    R_Schmittyoctoqtmojo_ca
  • dril
      wint @dril

    awfully bold of you to fly the Good Year blimp on a year that has been extremely bad thus far

    • 4,478
    • FAVS
    FaceSweater1008CrunchDeluxesmeredith15maxhasthoughtsJZsBBQbenonymoussssad_treedecktonic
    • 2,675
    • RETWEETS
    akovachNDitwassarcasmmarkalexprestonASAPBullwinkledz0meJMoneyMCp3restroikarsenaultc
  • dril
      wint @dril

    The reason the "Cars" movies have gained so much popularity is becuase the cars speak to one another. You don't get that with real life cars

    • 4,174
    • FAVS
    FaceSweater1008riptoiletfairbrooksad_treedhritzkivwyctimjgoody13DeLaJohnston
    • 2,828
    • RETWEETS
    tneK_werdnArrphlcantsinghdevonkane30brillmortALEKSV21fictionalorangeGarrettMcGinley
    DavidRaymondT__
  • dril
      wint @dril

    BOSS TELLS ME I CAN KISS MY FERRETS AT WORK, BUT NO OPEN MOUTH. I PUNCH THE FLOOR SO HARD HIS SCREEN SAVER DEACTIVATES

    • 4,463
    • FAVS
    realpatmcneilCrashburnAlleyjimgroomesad_treenoahosuchaPT_Swagbag93LordDoddlargehome29
    • 2,487
    • RETWEETS
    Th3PezDispencerPT_Swagbag93SagTheBobetHPJokerbattedbobandymoney69merryjoburkeTheTweetParrot
    DamnItsTrillUpturnedBathtubEvaGisellebriangaarneatdeerGHOSTBONESrobfeefartslimepuke
  • dril
      wint @dril

    "This Whole Thing Smacks Of Gender," i holler as i overturn my uncle's barbeque grill and turn the 4th of July into the 4th of Shit

    • 3,728
    • FAVS
    momspubisFaceSweater1008docsigmasad_treePapapishujgoody13BromanConsulgirlmakesgoo
    • 2,647
    • RETWEETS
    docsigmaTh3PezDispencerflintmechZerglinatorSummonerShuriteen__babyJake_SniffEndhooS
    earfdaeoctoqtloveletterbombs
  • dril
      wint @dril

    "Is Wario A Libertarian" - the greatest thread in the history of forums, locked by a moderator after 12,239 pages of heated debate,

    • 3,398
    • FAVS
    jackfrieschClassyNickTBrandyBeanHinkebengoobersJ_Hendersonhipsterscumbagbridger_wNotBobWest
    • 2,396
    • RETWEETS
    BenDurkeebengoobersJ_HendersonnickwigerGamer_152NotBobWestGabekingjenklementz
    BromanConsulcontentposterSweetTweetsBROpjlynchshruglordactualjellyfishWeedCoffin
  • dril
      wint @dril

    AS THE GUILLOTINE SLIDES TOWARDS MY NECK, I PRODUCE A TINY BARBELL I'VE BEEN HIDING IN MY MOUTH AND LIFT IT WITH MY TONGUE. ONE LAST REP

    • 3,777
    • FAVS
    dadsecretswokrsmad0mFaceSweater1008Kuskidnathanvfnoirpeachnotsuohsports
    • 1,968
    • RETWEETS
    dtipsonxoxogossipgothNotTravisAllenphenduuuGarrettOnParadeDanMCollinsDoublelenMadameColeen
    buttcafe
  • dril
      wint @dril

    i call evbery four-legged animal I see a dog and I am correct more often than not so I will never stop

    • 3,538
    • FAVS
    MikeIsNeatmaxhasthoughtsnotpornprobablyventriclemousekthorjensenNotBobWest6ftTurkeyfudgeasaur
    • 2,108
    • RETWEETS
    TheTweetParrotjacksonshroutspazmazticwunhundredMacKileysleepybaraskeletonbonergarbagedad
  • dril
      wint @dril

    i get dozens of compliments about my perfect ears every day. it's llike Shut the fuck up. Im trying to eat a bagel in my car and you do this

    • 3,815
    • FAVS
    jackfrieschwinterdandelionFaceSweater1008maxhasthoughtsgood_WILL_HUNTnthomjkingbarfchangeometricbones
    • 1,770
    • RETWEETS
    thomjkingr_vidmarcrulgeCaptainACABMayIPeeNowlilyungjebusred_calumRoger_Burton
  • dril
      wint @dril

    nerd with lame attitude: North Korea is bad
    Me: Have you ever lived there.
    nerd: (his glasses fall off)
    Me: Catch you later

    • 3,652
    • FAVS
    CrunchDeluxem0lluskSpaceCatZeroNBB_0__0emumcgeevideodantesurprisejunkieGunniford
    • 1,662
    • RETWEETS
    banalhanGamer_152autism69Th3PezDispencerdolphinuppercutTrevorEMetcalfeaLexiiaGeeSEVERlN
  • dril
      wint @dril

    my favorite part of nascar is when I vomit all over my shirt and car after the race., desecrating the logos of the brands that enslave me

    • 3,807
    • FAVS
    FaceSweater1008LDMalmmlynch115maxinspaceFiaca4Roelof_Prinsthomjkingjgoody13
    • 1,462
    • RETWEETS
    maxinspaceDangerGuerrerodz0meRoelof_Prinscoolhands_lukeTalon64ChaddeMarshaleactuallyawful
  • dril
      wint @dril

    two men emerge from sensory deprivation tanks
    "I just attained oneness with all living beings"
    "I just fucked the Girl rabbit from SpaceJam"

    • 3,566
    • FAVS
    NotBobWestBromanConsulnowayout98jake_radrecklessfarmerpoleslawbagshotrowDanniTarrant
    • 1,632
    • RETWEETS
    NotBobWestMatthewPWellsCommanderLovelySummonerShurirenegadeDADanniTarrantCrashRowdyanamericangod
    AmSock
  • dril
      wint @dril

    a "keg" is teenspeak for a large barrel of the vile drug known as "Beer". they can be as tall as 12 ft and are often used to crush policemen

    • 3,312
    • FAVS
    thomjkingjgoody13TrevorEMetcalfeFORGETTHATNOISEbulldoza86Kylec15basktballsarahMaxJLSchmidt
    • 1,873
    • RETWEETS
    _chrishopperscottruconichdadholesPaul_BautistaAndrew17Stewartanagrampsyomolly69almightyvarnes
  • dril
      wint @dril

    donald trump has no time to fuck. he looks at his watch and says "i could not possibly fuck at this juncture." as he powerwalks into the zoo

    • 3,647
    • FAVS
    FaceSweater1008tinglyfingersdanchovySpaceTerroristsJokeLvrhollowNaimDee_Aye_BeeNickCrispi
    • 1,422
    • RETWEETS
    FaceSweater1008michaelllclarkdanvbetrynnagetajobteddy_mccollrahtzeeTh3PezDispencerthwphipps
    DUSTINAM
  • dril
      wint @dril

    bring me your dead pet and i will make a sword out of it for $39

    • 3,250
    • FAVS
    joshkburtonFaceSweater1008nameisnotknowncal50emakbakia_JZsBBQRoelof_PrinsMrDanielJohnson
    • 1,787
    • RETWEETS
    joshkburtonwinterdandelionFaceSweater1008ASAPBullwinkledz0meJZsBBQRoelof_Prinshamburgerphone
@dril

@dril

rat with human face given medal by world health organization