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  • dril
      wint @dril

    if your grave doesnt say "rest in peace" on it you are automatically drafted into the skeleton war

    • 12k
    • FAVS
    randizzleDeedddddddeadpunderbreadreTICKulousweenbeansKatFarringtonjimmytorosianVarnyham
    • 10k
    • RETWEETS
    ZGhaoNjimmytorosianlamby970ssaidBiblicalShartTalalThaheem98nulljoshLandonTackett3
    FuckTypingAmSockoctoqtshruglorddavedittell
  • dril
      wint @dril

    big bird was obviously just a man in a suit. but the other ones were too small to contain men. so what the fuck

    • 10k
    • FAVS
    Ruysvogelalexalarson15reTICKulousTheToddWilliamsjimmytorosianPizzaSam31geniusindisgizestrangeways
    • 6,449
    • RETWEETS
    vermuth33jimmytorosianRydog57Paul_BautistacompterrifiedCarpetBaggageJackson_T_Fishtarynnjanine
    TheTweetParrotyeahsometimesJermHimselfishDickPicSender
  • dril
      wint @dril

    Food $200
    Data $150
    Rent $800
    Candles $3,600
    Utility $150
    someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my family is dying

    • 8,315
    • FAVS
    samuel_reganVivianDarkbloo1maffewhitehouseconceitedmouseMikeDingDongpoppythompsonPizzaSam31biitchell
    • 5,713
    • RETWEETS
    VivianDarkbloo1viljesvagdjazzkLouisTyrer18SGTYMBtrashsavethecatDassedDarrenlel
    vapelord69
  • dril
      wint @dril

    (cop inspecting his new body cam with huge pepperoni fingers) what the fuck is htis. where do i pack the ammo. is this a new type of grenade

    • 7,645
    • FAVS
    RuysvogelaIexfountainellbebswilliam_dawPsycholyst_girlfieriwoom13alexalarson15
    • 4,696
    • RETWEETS
    TheJtrain011KANGAYWESTJim2131pel_usdudehellnomajorgoobLetdownLizziekaganmarks
  • dril
      wint @dril

    awfully bold of you to fly the Good Year blimp on a year that has been extremely bad thus far

    • 7,543
    • FAVS
    anwarbananwarjohannaamarieTheWizardOfR0ZnarwhalsthoGOOSEFreemanjortslyfeLeonardCowalskiSlyphoria
    • 4,544
    • RETWEETS
    IcePotatojontravoltafanprettyboy276LeonardCowalskiianpauli1993MazdaRX7retyartdudehellno
  • dril
      wint @dril

    another day volunteering at the betsy ross museum. everyone keeps asking me if they can fuck the flag. buddy, they wont even let me fuck it

    • 6,212
    • FAVS
    MelvinofYorkBrandonBraichkatpennnsDrGhostbabyhermionesbuttdocsigmaBrendan_EWjamiekeiles
    • 2,994
    • RETWEETS
    DrGhostbabyhermionesbuttdocsigmafahrenheit_420dudehellnoFloppySteamerDadSelfiebucketsdntlie
    kDuncanGz_a_c_h_k_a_t_zironisktvitBeverlyCleary69lawblobshruglordAmSockactualjellyfishGarbageMysticgubbinsgubbins____
  • dril
      wint @dril

    the doctor reveals my blood pressure is 420 over 69. i hoot & holler outta the building while a bunch of losers try to tell me that im dying

    • 5,341
    • FAVS
    robcorderoTribalSpaceCatpapadonovanailaazizulnulljoshbrettwmorrisLonettoMBoshbec
    • 3,651
    • RETWEETS
    garthinkingcapjimmytorosianjacobTisRadnulljoshTheAmitieHernholmbeauwsmithtoothlessluke
    R_Schmittyoctoqtmojo_ca
  • dril
      wint @dril

    fuck "jokes". everything i tweet is real. raw insight without the horse shit. no, i will NOT follow trolls. twitter dot com. i live for this

    • 5,052
    • FAVS
    buzzy_rascalGOOSEFreemanTHE_REAL_PBUTTnulljoshbest_of_seasonnumber1weedguyclassicjhkhaley
    • 3,205
    • RETWEETS
    mattinqldZeppoWilburyRydog57THE_REAL_PBUTTnulljoshJamesNormingtonajnzbtsweenonline
    lesterfreamonsunfilterlanyardiganJermHimselfishCoolBabyRatoctoqtSimon_BarrettpissGoblinAceMakesWordslosdrogasHermit_Thrushi_have_4_dickslawblobfartLindzetadisaster_dogjitkavincenessrare_basementSlennon_
  • dril
      wint @dril

    BOSS TELLS ME I CAN KISS MY FERRETS AT WORK, BUT NO OPEN MOUTH. I PUNCH THE FLOOR SO HARD HIS SCREEN SAVER DEACTIVATES

    • 5,195
    • FAVS
    BabcocksFlyHairmikeFAILPizzaSam31emmacorlissMaxOfS2DSageThornbrughwolfwithdancesringodog415
    • 2,941
    • RETWEETS
    TheRogerCohenBabcocksFlyHairrthomas_22jacobTisRadringodog415Shasta_OtterHEX_BOYFRIENDJamesBusher
    DamnItsTrillUpturnedBathtubEvaGisellebriangaarneatdeerGHOSTBONESrobfeefartslimepuke
  • dril
      wint @dril

    The reason the "Cars" movies have gained so much popularity is becuase the cars speak to one another. You don't get that with real life cars

    • 4,714
    • FAVS
    reTICKulousjimmytorosianPizzaSam31SageThornbrughalexdaviezmalberMitchellReschTelehoIic
    • 3,147
    • RETWEETS
    randizzleDeebiitchelljimmytorosianjacobTisRadcberueffyrthomas_22WillTheCanuckMuryGoRound
    DavidRaymondT__
  • dril
      wint @dril

    stare directly into the sun For Free #blackfridaydeals

    • 4,288
    • FAVS
    eldersgapingmawapopagasmaIexfountainacrylicturtlefuckyouquintenaireesanclesterfreamonanimalgraveyard
    • 3,449
    • RETWEETS
    TheJtrain011patrickmeerkatrthomas_22thelzrdkingKylec15Seaphosphenes_asapkellsCAM_Quadratic
  • dril
      wint @dril

    sick of our media's unrealistic portrayal of Boomerangs , which are weak as shit in real life

    • 4,459
    • FAVS
    Fancy_PuffinAlexIsCool69biitchellpunmagnatereTICKulousskylerhanrathjimmytorosianrobfarhat
    • 2,843
    • RETWEETS
    AlexIsCool69GOOSEFreemandudehellnobiitchelljimmytorosianrobfarhatnulljoshJamesNormington
  • dril
      wint @dril

    THERAPIST: your problem is, that youre perfect, and everyone is jealous of your good posts, and that makes you rightfully upset.
    ME: I agree

    • 4,471
    • FAVS
    birthinreverserandizzleDeeBakahentai69Nyoki_hadonulljoshoshbecimgoing2dieMarc_Normandin
    • 2,765
    • RETWEETS
    C0CAINEC0WB0YGidgetNomatesRandom_FactorChanelstylesxtrvpmonkongsookiefeelhaverbirthinreverse
  • dril
      wint @dril

    stonehenge actually sucks and i hope someone pushes those rocks the hell over real soon

    • 4,351
    • FAVS
    PizzaSam31richrmurphynulljoshRurfsJosieNemoBigFatNothingSageThornbrughArronski
    • 2,757
    • RETWEETS
    RurfsemmaaheleneGoingHard_ingerjacobinthecut_camwbalawyer_up_CollinAmbuIanceian_erickson
  • dril
      wint @dril

    "Is Wario A Libertarian" - the greatest thread in the history of forums, locked by a moderator after 12,239 pages of heated debate,

    • 4,129
    • FAVS
    AlvaroMortemGOOSEFreemanPizzaSam31TweesTweets1LcampesinojortslyfeTheBrightEffectholdenberry
    • 2,938
    • RETWEETS
    fivewallsPizzaSam31juicechuggerLimeadeYouthjacobTisRadTweesTweetsmo0tyFutureHasbeen
    BromanConsulhotsoccerchicSweetTweetsBROpjlynchshruglordactualjellyfishWeedcoffin
  • dril
      wint @dril

    nerd with lame attitude: North Korea is bad
    Me: Have you ever lived there.
    nerd: (his glasses fall off)
    Me: Catch you later

    • 4,803
    • FAVS
    mattyeightfourGood_NicemanJorts_MichaelHegelsBagelsorangehexUweBollocksdj_mosfettmessmec2424
    • 2,200
    • RETWEETS
    SpiritCelestialorangehexpatchak21foucault_45blakepanterCam_Doglawyer_up_Pimp_Dylan
  • dril
      wint @dril

    i am selling six beautfiul, extremely ill, white horses. they no longer recognize me as their father, and are the Burden of my life

    • 4,558
    • FAVS
    Bobfelikscolingriffithkingscr0ssingGOOSEFreemannulljoshJylesKnightTelehoIicssorC
    • 2,362
    • RETWEETS
    BobfelikscolingriffithRoelof_PrinsgothjillbidenRydog57jacobTisRadTalalThaheem98ShamusMarshall
  • dril
      wint @dril

    "This Whole Thing Smacks Of Gender," i holler as i overturn my uncle's barbeque grill and turn the 4th of July into the 4th of Shit

    • 3,971
    • FAVS
    atroppinadanjan13evlbzltyrtrillborgi_fartedSexy14YrOldGirlafbradstonetoad_eyes
    • 2,831
    • RETWEETS
    trash_ebookstrillborgMcLeemzlenadenimtracy_morgellonJamesSantellitonightoliveaphseborga
    earfdaeoctoqtloveletterbombs
  • dril
      wint @dril

    i get dozens of compliments about my perfect ears every day. it's llike Shut the fuck up. Im trying to eat a bagel in my car and you do this

    • 4,613
    • FAVS
    PizzaSam31nulljoshEstebandagreatfrenchamnestysamelpanmike_shoroalexdaviezlexuhbooz
    • 2,101
    • RETWEETS
    Roelof_Prinsmatt_reccnulljosht_hillzsharpalrightCoiaNYblakeisalrightMuryGoRound
  • dril
      wint @dril

    AS THE GUILLOTINE SLIDES TOWARDS MY NECK, I PRODUCE A TINY BARBELL I'VE BEEN HIDING IN MY MOUTH AND LIFT IT WITH MY TONGUE. ONE LAST REP

    • 4,269
    • FAVS
    SkeetsMcDonaldVHudgensFan2385nscranorSaladFartvictor_c13TelehoIicMelankolikernsamskindle
    • 2,233
    • RETWEETS
    coolgarydotnetsexualjumanjinscranorpestonoirecoldnwindyclayzahhhJohn_LytleKawaiiFather
    buttcafe
@dril

@dril

rat with human face given medal by world health organization