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BOSS TELLS ME I CAN KISS MY FERRETS AT WORK, BUT NO OPEN MOUTH. I PUNCH THE FLOOR SO HARD HIS SCREEN SAVER DEACTIVATES
i have no idea how that turd got on your ceiling, but it definitely didn't fly out of my shorts while iwas doing a backflip
Have you ever wanted to click X on a bastard
someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my family is dying
what can i say. my hatres are my motivators (gets pic of nude man covered in syrup sent to inbox) FUCk. Please stop
oculus allows you to smoke wii remote like a cigar and blow heaps of smoke in celebs faces
[man leans into doorway of WTC bathroom]
"Hey, you gotta finish up in there. 9/11 is happening."
"Alright. Just a sec."
hell no i wont wear a sleeping cap. what the fuck is that shit. how does a hat help you go to sleep. looks like, a Fools hat.
The reason the "Cars" movies have gained so much popularity is becuase the cars speak to one another. You don't get that with real life cars
another day volunteering at the betsy ross museum. everyone keeps asking me if they can fuck the flag. buddy, they wont even let me fuck it
koko the talking ape.. has been living high on the hog, wasting our tax dollars on high capacity diapers. No more. i will suplex that beast,
"Is Wario A Libertarian" - the greatest thread in the history of forums, locked by a moderator after 12,239 pages of heated debate,
big bird was obviously just a man in a suit. but the other ones were too small to contain men. so what the fuck
"This Whole Thing Smacks Of Gender," i holler as i overturn my uncle's barbeque grill and turn the 4th of July into the 4th of Shit
donald trump has no time to fuck. he looks at his watch and says "i could not possibly fuck at this juncture." as he powerwalks into the zoo
who the fuck is scraeming "LOG OFF" at my house. show yourself, coward. i will never log off
my priceless stradivarius gaming keyboard... fcovered in policeman urine
the doctor reveals my blood pressure is 420 over 69. i hoot & holler outta the building while a bunch of losers try to tell me that im dying
fuck "jokes". everything i tweet is real. raw insight without the horse shit. no, i will NOT follow trolls. twitter dot com. i live for this
emailing me is now a criminal offense
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