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  • dril
      wint @dril

    another day volunteering at the betsy ross museum. everyone keeps asking me if they can fuck the flag. buddy, they wont even let me fuck it

    • 6,202
    • FAVS
    C_K_FjimmytorosiannickdevlinVince_Louisarjan____PizzaSam31ITSAMBESSAlukesmas
    • 2,986
    • RETWEETS
    dudehellnoFloppySteamerDadSelfiebucketsdntliejacobTisRadmo0tyjacksoncodfishcraigbased
    kDuncanGz_a_c_h_k_a_t_zironisktvitBeverlyCleary69lawblobshruglordAmSockactualjellyfishGarbageMysticgubbinsgubbins____
  • dril
      wint @dril

    koko the talking ape.. has been living high on the hog, wasting our tax dollars on high capacity diapers. No more. i will suplex that beast,

    • 2,346
    • FAVS
    OhBurninBoosieFreeddungbootleTweesTweetsisalrightnowmysterneereTICKulouschokenspuh
    • 975
    • RETWEETS
    CocaineSpankCameron_54StephenDiazzzPilgrimthoughtsmysterneeholidaystylesswildebeast913BaronVonSavings
    LHGarrett
  • dril
      wint @dril

    "Is Wario A Libertarian" - the greatest thread in the history of forums, locked by a moderator after 12,239 pages of heated debate,

    • 4,124
    • FAVS
    GOOSEFreemanPizzaSam31TweesTweets1LcampesinojortslyfeTheBrightEffectholdenberrybagelprincess
    • 2,938
    • RETWEETS
    fivewallsPizzaSam31juicechuggerLimeadeYouthjacobTisRadTweesTweetsmo0tyFutureHasbeen
    BromanConsulhotsoccerchicSweetTweetsBROpjlynchshruglordactualjellyfishBabyDogPicDaily
  • dril
      wint @dril

    big bird was obviously just a man in a suit. but the other ones were too small to contain men. so what the fuck

    • 10k
    • FAVS
    reTICKulousTheToddWilliamsjimmytorosianPizzaSam31geniusindisgizestrangewaysjakpo8compterrified
    • 6,447
    • RETWEETS
    vermuth33jimmytorosianRydog57Paul_BautistacompterrifiedCarpetBaggageJackson_T_Fishtarynnjanine
    TheTweetParrotyeahsometimesJermHimselfishDickPicSender
  • dril
      wint @dril

    "This Whole Thing Smacks Of Gender," i holler as i overturn my uncle's barbeque grill and turn the 4th of July into the 4th of Shit

    • 3,960
    • FAVS
    GOOSEFreemanyerpalmildsaucePizzaSam31nulljoshlenadenimtonightoliveVesuviusqRxitWounds
    • 2,829
    • RETWEETS
    lenadenimtracy_morgellonJamesSantellitonightoliveaphseborgaWuTangHitlerKatharosCumhermionesbutt
    earfdaeoctoqtloveletterbombs
  • dril
      wint @dril

    donald trump has no time to fuck. he looks at his watch and says "i could not possibly fuck at this juncture." as he powerwalks into the zoo

    • 3,886
    • FAVS
    matthewalmontxan_exel_knuck_kaufmanichzlrbbtyogaplantsMickaremusJtotheItotheM
    • 1,537
    • RETWEETS
    _knuck_TheRogerCohenEthan_Bookeryogaplantstoryswingbraketcaviarcustodianjoelgoldstein75
    DUSTINAM
  • dril
      wint @dril

    who the fuck is scraeming "LOG OFF" at my house. show yourself, coward. i will never log off

    • 3,192
    • FAVS
    bcubed33bucketsdntlieJohn_MountmoistbreezyvodkalemonadesrymgreeenCrashburnAlleypowerade_papi
    • 1,822
    • RETWEETS
    queerbugvogon0ssaidlufc_danoshuajsseapvnktoastergalaxyEggs69
    lesterfreamonHermit_Thrush
  • dril
      wint @dril

    my priceless stradivarius gaming keyboard... fcovered in policeman urine

    • 741
    • FAVS
    MelankolikerncrystalblistersDukeRaccoonClarentArthurlunarcicadasapopagasmturdvolcanoDondoTime
    • 240
    • RETWEETS
    notrevenantGlorioCoreganPixelGuffwooperVN_Rubenjoeftakravatal
    Mike_Bianchi
  • dril
      wint @dril

    the doctor reveals my blood pressure is 420 over 69. i hoot & holler outta the building while a bunch of losers try to tell me that im dying

    • 5,340
    • FAVS
    robcorderoTribalSpaceCatpapadonovanailaazizulnulljoshbrettwmorrisLonettoMBoshbec
    • 3,651
    • RETWEETS
    garthinkingcapjimmytorosianjacobTisRadnulljoshTheAmitieHernholmbeauwsmithtoothlessluke
    R_Schmittyoctoqtmojo_ca
  • dril
      wint @dril

    fuck "jokes". everything i tweet is real. raw insight without the horse shit. no, i will NOT follow trolls. twitter dot com. i live for this

    • 5,049
    • FAVS
    GOOSEFreemanTHE_REAL_PBUTTnulljoshbest_of_seasonnumber1weedguyclassicjhkhaleyNerdlotto
    • 3,204
    • RETWEETS
    ZeppoWilburyRydog57THE_REAL_PBUTTnulljoshJamesNormingtonajnzbtsweenonlinejcub_d
    lesterfreamonsunfilterlanyardiganJermHimselfishCoolBabyRatoctoqtSimon_BarrettpissGoblinAceMakesWordslosdrogasHermit_Thrushi_have_4_dickslawblobfartLindzetadisaster_dogjitkavincenessrare_basementSlennon_
  • dril
      wint @dril

    BOSS TELLS ME I CAN KISS MY FERRETS AT WORK, BUT NO OPEN MOUTH. I PUNCH THE FLOOR SO HARD HIS SCREEN SAVER DEACTIVATES

    • 5,195
    • FAVS
    BabcocksFlyHairmikeFAILPizzaSam31emmacorlissMaxOfS2DSageThornbrughwolfwithdancesringodog415
    • 2,941
    • RETWEETS
    TheRogerCohenBabcocksFlyHairrthomas_22jacobTisRadringodog415Shasta_OtterHEX_BOYFRIENDJamesBusher
    DamnItsTrillUpturnedBathtubEvaGisellebriangaarneatdeerGHOSTBONESrobfeefartslimepuke
  • dril
      wint @dril

    Food $200
    Data $150
    Rent $800
    Candles $3,600
    Utility $150
    someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my family is dying

    • 8,315
    • FAVS
    samuel_reganVivianDarkbloo1maffewhitehouseconceitedmouseMikeDingDongpoppythompsonPizzaSam31biitchell
    • 5,713
    • RETWEETS
    VivianDarkbloo1viljesvagdjazzkLouisTyrer18SGTYMBtrashsavethecatDassedDarrenlel
    vapelord69
  • dril
      wint @dril

    its the weekend baby. youknow what that means. its time to drink precisely one beer and call 911

    • 2,001
    • FAVS
    amfmpmBeanStroupElSangito6buy9balldraggerdamien_arknaughtysneakyRad_shack
    • 1,191
    • RETWEETS
    balldraggerass_dadUweBollocksSaraCiviantherealpolpotGoodOpinionManRobbie_grdankmtl
    z_a_c_h_k_a_t_zsunfilter
  • dril
      wint @dril

    THE COP GROWLS "TAKE OFF TH OSE JEANS, CITIZEN." I COMPLY, REVEALING THE FULL LENGTH DENIM TATTOOS ON BOTH LEGS. THE COP SCREAMS; DEFEATED

    • 3,703
    • FAVS
    ACoupleThoughtsjenorcadaze_gazeinkyspavedaveDrewLogRxitWoundsKrillNye
    • 2,336
    • RETWEETS
    spavedaveserenapassionHowMuchForGoathomeschooldanSEWERSlDEImStillKennethlilbabycloudurbanharry
    NeutronDreDankHerbMulletslimepukeMrPapaya__________danieleastman
  • dril
      wint @dril

    obama and his crack team of nsa crooks watching me shit: "sir, he's scooting backwards so his dick doesn't touch the rim" "Thuis guy's good"

    • 3,132
    • FAVS
    OnTheShaneTrainHPJokerc_selbydvfelarcabradycanoeGiggleFactoryadamsteinbaughHighwayCorsair
    • 1,324
    • RETWEETS
    hipsterbonerMustachedCloudbradycanoeZeppoWilburyGiggleFactorytwerkrobotCoreganhermionesbutt
    NeutronDreperceptionist
  • dril
      wint @dril

    ive got my eye on you matrix_gary.

    • 229
    • FAVS
    michael_carter2riceysanTheVictasticKagentkonybanksDanCoolMoonGuyDK_AD_WartSnackmaximumcuddles
    • 33
    • RETWEETS
    vinceperritanofriggofffjahonkus__________SailorTweakpimetaradoGinGanderTheFunkodileSwoleWeeb
    ChipotIe
  • dril
      wint @dril

    two men emerge from sensory deprivation tanks
    "I just attained oneness with all living beings"
    "I just fucked the Girl rabbit from SpaceJam"

    • 3,830
    • FAVS
    a_thin_ghosttrash_ebooksDigitalSnackmansomeofmybestgufawwMarc_Normandinopaquesnake_ryanhanrahan
    • 1,760
    • RETWEETS
    DigitalSnackmanMThorMGeorgeGLaForgeVarnyhamRxitWoundsNeutronDretrillborgmatherknoll
    AmSock
  • dril
      wint @dril

    i approve of congres... i believe they are doing a very good job despite negative comments online

    • 681
    • FAVS
    michael_carter2isalrightnowBadNewsCentralBenghaziExpertjlb250Brian_HennessySam_KeadyDanCoolMoonGuy
    • 190
    • RETWEETS
    BenghaziExpertDanCoolMoonGuydavid_bairdweed_mouseYOLOSWAGATTACKSNickrobJohnGregoryJrlukeontheweb
    drewgrimaldi
  • dril
      wint @dril

    my next good post is about egg salad. What in the shit?? are you egg or salad? Why is this good. Who's eating it. Check Please. uhhh

    • 606
    • FAVS
    michael_carter2apopagasmTheVictasticKjakeinsidesomecleverthingalvybarishelishashagrantyO
    • 204
    • RETWEETS
    somecleverthingconomolanfollowdavehomebipermanextremeprismbotothyBakahentai69murdvert
    ChipotIe
@dril

@dril

rat with human face given medal by world health organization

Tweets from @dril most recently awarded Tweet of the Day by Pro Members.