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  • dril
      wint @dril

    [man leans into doorway of WTC bathroom]
    "Hey, you gotta finish up in there. 9/11 is happening."
    "Alright. Just a sec."

    • 3,564
    • FAVS
    vincenessSpudfiend87HummerXPray4ChandlerURYNUSKvammebuttplayennuicrudlord
    • 1,094
    • RETWEETS
    raverinserepeatcesare_gielgudselvsikkergayk47mmmmspaghettiSlammy_PTSSteinbachercakemittens
    Mike_Bianchi
  • dril
    • 923
    • FAVS
    hplemkeMrDanielJohnsonethan_laymanCarlbrent1982CaNathanielWaggHendyhendelBenCraveryTweesTweets
    • 227
    • RETWEETS
    DonogathxCarlbrent1982CaSexyMixedMandanactivatedSpread_Eagle_17moonpolysoftben_diedrnichelangelo
    BigFatDaddys
  • dril
      wint @dril

    hell no i wont wear a sleeping cap. what the fuck is that shit. how does a hat help you go to sleep. looks like, a Fools hat.

    • 2,989
    • FAVS
    bonurzwbyeetsdylankfpetfurnitureDryDickRandohineybushGeezGrecoTomzorz
    • 1,326
    • RETWEETS
    pqp_marcellatrashboywondercameronreedRHenry23whosbakerconcurrentIyGOOSEFreemancrosIey
    HeelyRiddler
  • dril
      wint @dril

    The reason the "Cars" movies have gained so much popularity is becuase the cars speak to one another. You don't get that with real life cars

    • 4,961
    • FAVS
    matt_lm6mistiryshakadjones92inkassovarselDiscoFruitMermousseMaxOBrenaustinvitale
    • 3,349
    • RETWEETS
    mistiryshakgriffithsdickadjones92colinlobergmrhenryharrispinsamtystnadihatemikekellyaquilarian
    HeelyRiddlerDavidRaymondT__
  • dril
      wint @dril

    another day volunteering at the betsy ross museum. everyone keeps asking me if they can fuck the flag. buddy, they wont even let me fuck it

    • 7,487
    • FAVS
    jlosgurl69AaronMHaagpunmagnateravenschofielddanger_spousepantsahoyjuanitocbuenoChrisScarlette
    • 3,600
    • RETWEETS
    TimWelcomeddanger_spouseBunkBedWoodyjmloguebradycanoebenjamillionsiWreck_Weavestbhimgay
    kDuncanGz_a_c_h_k_a_t_zironisktvitBeverlyCleary69lawblobshruglordAmSockactualjellyfishGarbageMysticgubbinsgubbins____
  • dril
      wint @dril

    koko the talking ape.. has been living high on the hog, wasting our tax dollars on high capacity diapers. No more. i will suplex that beast,

    • 2,514
    • FAVS
    caviarcustodianpirtleturtlesecretcorndogMagnettisbenshoofthehotchkidboobcamelbiblehaver
    • 1,072
    • RETWEETS
    caviarcustodianpirtleturtlesecretcorndogmattmacneilMagnettisRyfacerthomas_22flyoverstates
    LHGarrett
  • dril
      wint @dril

    "Is Wario A Libertarian" - the greatest thread in the history of forums, locked by a moderator after 12,239 pages of heated debate,

    • 4,798
    • FAVS
    stouplegooddog666carterclem7Alex_Gettyjunkfoodjoerenas_oToneYeBestMikeFigNewton
    • 3,466
    • RETWEETS
    MrCroutonManshadowmarAfalSlavojPeezekrenas_oCigsUnfoundedToneYeBestTip_Daddy
    BromanConsulgoodasspostsSweetTweetsBRO__pjlynchshruglordactualjellyfishWeedcoffin__
  • dril
      wint @dril

    big bird was obviously just a man in a suit. but the other ones were too small to contain men. so what the fuck

    • 13k
    • FAVS
    FORGETTHATNOISEMethMittensTw1tter_K1ttenSneakernetsTip_DaddyhiitsmollyJeffrn88Toby_Hancock
    • 7,663
    • RETWEETS
    TheYungNastySneakernetsJeffrn88JakeLeeYesToby_Hancockswept__awaysamklagedude_hugs
    TheTweetParrotyeahsometimesJermHimselfishDickPicSender
  • dril
      wint @dril

    "This Whole Thing Smacks Of Gender," i holler as i overturn my uncle's barbeque grill and turn the 4th of July into the 4th of Shit

    • 4,307
    • FAVS
    stephdogfootTrimpireLegendBreterbiescheddarericksontr00istAichmomanicDuskReverieemgeejay
    • 3,083
    • RETWEETS
    KiltsOfDeathmadeline_starrtrashboywondermung_beansreiyashiFuerzaDelCheCoreganOrdforandeJohan
    earfdaeoctoqtloveletterbombs
  • dril
      wint @dril

    donald trump has no time to fuck. he looks at his watch and says "i could not possibly fuck at this juncture." as he powerwalks into the zoo

    • 4,281
    • FAVS
    JamesNormingtonbatemanesquerebrandisterasmuslijnyin_postyinJessFinklonelydandruffgaealien
    • 1,697
    • RETWEETS
    emopreteenkeewaTheSoundDefenseBattlehorkprimallogicShasta_OtterMisterShotHitTheSpencerPerry
    DUSTINAM
  • dril
      wint @dril

    who the fuck is scraeming "LOG OFF" at my house. show yourself, coward. i will never log off

    • 3,849
    • FAVS
    AsphaltApostlew4shingmachineinstantloserLetsBeSapidMarkOrcharddfeignamnesiaAudreyCarlislepaigehtml
    • 2,324
    • RETWEETS
    lewinicktheravenboysLetsBeSapidsaltythetrainMarkOrcharddgabrielapetriecrouton_futonSensibleUsernam
    lesterfreamonHermit_Thrush
  • dril
      wint @dril

    my priceless stradivarius gaming keyboard... fcovered in policeman urine

    • 741
    • FAVS
    TashoftheFuturesignalkoukanCajoleJuiceEsqMelankolikerncrystalblistersDukeRaccoontelevangelionsharkfucker96
    • 240
    • RETWEETS
    sleepy_serpentCajoleJuiceEsqnotrevenantGlorioCoreganPixelGuffwooperVN_Ruben
    Mike_Bianchi
  • dril
      wint @dril

    the doctor reveals my blood pressure is 420 over 69. i hoot & holler outta the building while a bunch of losers try to tell me that im dying

    • 6,132
    • FAVS
    akiba_k3ihacaplusCharlieDawson95blinkclyrodesertcanyonsGr3yZer0PsychEyeballjr_morgan
    • 4,291
    • RETWEETS
    antipythagoreanlvllnXyphoriumDarren94ClarkeCharlieDawson95urgraduationblinkclyrodesertcanyons
    R_Schmittyoctoqtmojo_ca
  • dril
      wint @dril

    fuck "jokes". everything i tweet is real. raw insight without the horse shit. no, i will NOT follow trolls. twitter dot com. i live for this

    • 5,607
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    odavhHalvorbjhankhugsJelyL_hummusandpizzalilbabyfungusPiecezillahardlyrelevant
    • 3,654
    • RETWEETS
    andreasveieJelyL_eyeswidebuttFazio_NembraceannaHvnnSolodarth__mouthaphantomduke
    lesterfreamonsunfilterlanyardiganJermHimselfishCoolBabyRatoctoqtSimon_BarrettpissGoblinAceMakesWordslosdrogasHermit_Thrushi_have_4_dickslawblobfartLindzetadisaster_dogjitkavincenessrare_basementSlennon_
  • dril
      wint @dril

    BOSS TELLS ME I CAN KISS MY FERRETS AT WORK, BUT NO OPEN MOUTH. I PUNCH THE FLOOR SO HARD HIS SCREEN SAVER DEACTIVATES

    • 5,992
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    eeF_naIKutztownThunderbeef_patrolOldChrisiIovedaryldixonTweesTweetsjunkfoodjoelow_easy
    • 3,358
    • RETWEETS
    eeF_naIJawnValjawnTweesTweetsDanielBurakRyanRiggins_StarbucksNZSlavojPeezekI_am_Dixon
    DamnItsTrillUpturnedBathtubEvaGisellebriangaarneatdeerGHOSTBONESrobfeefartslimepuke
  • dril
      wint @dril

    Food $200
    Data $150
    Rent $800
    Candles $3,600
    Utility $150
    someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my family is dying

    • 13k
    • FAVS
    gab_hans327Jeffrn88fishplumseeF_naICita_WiRafeeJordanradicaldude69Roztad
    • 9,238
    • RETWEETS
    jenche_Jeffrn88eeF_naIConorWalshydadbarfDanielBurakLaPorte_DanielHENDRICKSONHD
    vapelord69
  • dril
      wint @dril

    its the weekend baby. youknow what that means. its time to drink precisely one beer and call 911

    • 2,421
    • FAVS
    bradycanoeLowkeyTwitsJozyMcMozyartschoolbaejohnjcorriganshindleria235FORGETTHATNOISENickSarpa
    • 1,499
    • RETWEETS
    shindleria235sanjanglesjucheismmissy_yellsalotmarrowingaseriesofpointsclassicwebjokesEarthHousehold
    z_a_c_h_k_a_t_zsunfilter
  • dril
      wint @dril

    THE COP GROWLS "TAKE OFF TH OSE JEANS, CITIZEN." I COMPLY, REVEALING THE FULL LENGTH DENIM TATTOOS ON BOTH LEGS. THE COP SCREAMS; DEFEATED

    • 3,811
    • FAVS
    xnotjeremyxboanusPrune_TracyJayKay6669MattCowdockarklingonMarkHughes__Will_of_Rose
    • 2,364
    • RETWEETS
    boanusquesadillaeaterimmalegend4MegaWattManPhantomGoalyung_ashbyallinthepassSchamber_Matt
    andre_bupkis__DankHerbMullet__slimepukeMrPapaya__________danieleastman
  • dril
      wint @dril

    obama and his crack team of nsa crooks watching me shit: "sir, he's scooting backwards so his dick doesn't touch the rim" "Thuis guy's good"

    • 3,470
    • FAVS
    joke_explainerTotallyAnalogNeutrontrilogyfotempBUJUFANTAfailjuicelemonadsnackCam_Dog
    • 1,414
    • RETWEETS
    __SeanPatrickJ_Cullens_willnewtoncamquadraticSwarmOfBees2000SwellChumMikeHaunch0OOOO734
    andre_bupkis__perceptionist
  • dril
      wint @dril

    ive got my eye on you matrix_gary.

    • 229
    • FAVS
    michael_carter2riceysanTheVictasticKagentkonybanksDanCoolMoonGuyDK_AD_WartSnackmaximumcuddles
    • 33
    • RETWEETS
    vinceperritanoobamacare69jahonkus__________SailorTweakuhhhhhhhhhwhatGinGanderTheFunkodileSwoleWeeb
    ChipotIe
@dril

@dril

pregnant Hog measurer

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