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  • dril
      wint @dril

    another day volunteering at the betsy ross museum. everyone keeps asking me if they can fuck the flag. buddy, they wont even let me fuck it

    • 5,831
    • FAVS
    WhatevaConcajnzbtdayvygladyjazsjunkclueseekershippieswordfishsassywhiteteenwatermelonmeat
    • 2,785
    • RETWEETS
    ianpauliladyjazsjunkmakjakwatermelonmeatLovesLAandDogsMattMcGruffTysonBoydaloser_shawty
    kDuncanGz_a_c_h_k_a_t_zironisktvitBeverlyCleary69lawblobshruglordAmSockactualjellyfishGarbageMystic__gubbinsgubbins____
  • dril
      wint @dril

    koko the talking ape.. has been living high on the hog, wasting our tax dollars on high capacity diapers. No more. i will suplex that beast,

    • 2,300
    • FAVS
    nolanbakerWesterness604rycalawrescottruconichdrchriswolfmanpetfurnituret_hillzfanfiction_txt
    • 959
    • RETWEETS
    3rik_GeeG0bunAntDiPalmascottruconichbraketnumbfluxsodopesofreshdadholes
    LHGarrett
  • dril
      wint @dril

    "Is Wario A Libertarian" - the greatest thread in the history of forums, locked by a moderator after 12,239 pages of heated debate,

    • 3,649
    • FAVS
    hippieswordfishRealRedRossveroniraptorTheBurger_PressdrewjandamlwryColinAFlowersSunshineJarboly
    • 2,576
    • RETWEETS
    RealRedRossTheBurger_PressKonekoSenseiJDelVigetdownerjake_radsam_reginaldJohnPaulMD
    BromanConsulgoodasspostsSweetTweetsBROpjlynchshruglordactualjellyfishWeedCoffin
  • dril
      wint @dril

    big bird was obviously just a man in a suit. but the other ones were too small to contain men. so what the fuck

    • 7,017
    • FAVS
    PT_Swagbag93KrisIsInBlightyweirdokayBlSCUlTSSexy14YrOldGirlCartographyBoyiamtallandthinshanebrouman
    • 4,302
    • RETWEETS
    PT_Swagbag93KrisIsInBlightylizardoffCartographyBoyshanebroumanirocklobsterDREADjakenulljosh
    TheTweetParrotyeahsometimesJermHimselfishDickPicSender
  • dril
      wint @dril

    "This Whole Thing Smacks Of Gender," i holler as i overturn my uncle's barbeque grill and turn the 4th of July into the 4th of Shit

    • 3,882
    • FAVS
    hippieswordfishmuscularscrotemonosynthdaze_gazeseirin08jasminedreameKeegzzJohnASinclair
    • 2,764
    • RETWEETS
    BoyNamedShitGloverTroyseirin08retyartmitch_hav_BerlinWalruspatchak21SweetPatoot
    earfdaeoctoqtloveletterbombs
  • dril
      wint @dril

    donald trump has no time to fuck. he looks at his watch and says "i could not possibly fuck at this juncture." as he powerwalks into the zoo

    • 3,766
    • FAVS
    hippieswordfishgoodkid95Goat_HugsKDizzle2113yeahsometimesSeriousSanchezSurgicalTurtlerebeccaheckyea
    • 1,483
    • RETWEETS
    Goat_HugsPsycholystMonsMegHeaddavefranklinDavement_joelgolbywaynesmith1971WH1MSY
    DUSTINAM
  • dril
      wint @dril

    who the fuck is scraeming "LOG OFF" at my house. show yourself, coward. i will never log off

    • 2,696
    • FAVS
    hippieswordfishbotazlabestiawaltlillyhollowNaimBword_hardHvictorecabarrenJohnASinclairchrismets
    • 1,533
    • RETWEETS
    DMightonInkanathanksdeertrynnagetajobhollowNaimvictorecabarrentwistofnateConorWalshy
    lesterfreamonHermit_Thrush
  • dril
      wint @dril

    my priceless stradivarius gaming keyboard... fcovered in policeman urine

    • 729
    • FAVS
    apopagasmturdvolcanoMCFCFloresSimon_Barrettwood4sheepBeesthegamemichael_carter2ASAPBullwinkle
    • 235
    • RETWEETS
    CoreganPixelGuffwooperVN_RubenjoeftakravatalvStevieBvikissdads
    Mike_Bianchi
  • dril
      wint @dril

    the doctor reveals my blood pressure is 420 over 69. i hoot & holler outta the building while a bunch of losers try to tell me that im dying

    • 4,958
    • FAVS
    lambpastyGian_isthebestmakemeforgetyouMrChesticlesboring_roomateFrodoshopfresh_patrikItsRowynne
    • 3,447
    • RETWEETS
    jameshellardmattmgardnerMrChesticleslinnenbringerThe_CJSimpsonmark_reddieultimatesteveyaperboi
    R_Schmittyoctoqtmojo_ca
  • dril
      wint @dril

    fuck "jokes". everything i tweet is real. raw insight without the horse shit. no, i will NOT follow trolls. twitter dot com. i live for this

    • 4,922
    • FAVS
    hippieswordfishsamelpanBrttHwclueseekerspoon_666cicada_hisserinkatycatwatermelonmeat
    • 3,113
    • RETWEETS
    ass_dadprettybinladenkushtragedyFLIRTGODGloverTroyBrttHwi_papzzpoon_666
    lesterfreamonsunfilterlanyardiganJermHimselfishCoolBabyRatoctoqtSimon_BarrettpissGoblinAceMakesWordslosdrogasHermit_Thrushi_have_4_dickslawblobfartLindzetadisaster_dogjitkavincenessrare_basementSlennon_
  • dril
      wint @dril

    BOSS TELLS ME I CAN KISS MY FERRETS AT WORK, BUT NO OPEN MOUTH. I PUNCH THE FLOOR SO HARD HIS SCREEN SAVER DEACTIVATES

    • 4,846
    • FAVS
    Trev_AultNick_EspinozaDong_Marriageblarkieclassactfuckupdylandavid276IsDylHoleHomekuhlayer
    • 2,708
    • RETWEETS
    blarkiedylandavid276keanamoweryThe_JensenAllenIanfluencechampagnepupiKawaiiFatherJadeTheZoroark
    DamnItsTrillUpturnedBathtubEvaGisellebriangaarneatdeerGHOSTBONESrobfeefartslimepuke
  • dril
      wint @dril

    Food $200
    Data $150
    Rent $800
    Candles $3,600
    Utility $150
    someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my family is dying

    • 7,206
    • FAVS
    B_RabSadoskypeegritsRockyourbroadyclueseekersShakeAndBlake95muscularscrotebennybrookbankchris_montoya
    • 4,792
    • RETWEETS
    mysterneeheath394stormy_heropeegritsdean_calNotTomGarbutttomfahy1lostinviolet
    vapelord69
  • dril
      wint @dril

    its the weekend baby. youknow what that means. its time to drink precisely one beer and call 911

    • 1,852
    • FAVS
    scearleymistersketcheebrushmanecoreygarryJohnASinclairChoplogikInternetskull92Jenny_Loughman
    • 1,096
    • RETWEETS
    onion_cerealbrushmanechukwukamsoarjan____capitaljizzmlookinmookerinofthestatemichaeljbg
    z_a_c_h_k_a_t_zsunfilter
  • dril
      wint @dril

    THE COP GROWLS "TAKE OFF TH OSE JEANS, CITIZEN." I COMPLY, REVEALING THE FULL LENGTH DENIM TATTOOS ON BOTH LEGS. THE COP SCREAMS; DEFEATED

    • 3,116
    • FAVS
    hippieswordfishGobroksnotyrsweetheartSo_OccultJenny_LoughmanIceCubeCirca92kvntellisAntsInWA
    • 1,989
    • RETWEETS
    BraHuangBlackLiteAttackmattmgardnerTheMiamiQueeteddylee_1PappyShannonRyfaceDeusExJuice
    NeutronDreDankHerbMulletslimepukeMrPapaya__________danieleastman
  • dril
      wint @dril

    obama and his crack team of nsa crooks watching me shit: "sir, he's scooting backwards so his dick doesn't touch the rim" "Thuis guy's good"

    • 2,877
    • FAVS
    hippieswordfishVom_SquadShittyRambopatchak21twentytentaclescmdmike1InMyExperienceokay_in_the_sea
    • 1,229
    • RETWEETS
    patchak21PixelGuffhunktearsvakarianedNotFaultyshowerbearHEX_BOYFRIENDkillerskink
    NeutronDreperceptionist
  • dril
      wint @dril

    ive got my eye on you matrix_gary.

    • 228
    • FAVS
    riceysanTheVictasticKagentkonybanksDanCoolMoonGuyDK_AD_WartSnackmaximumcuddlesteenirl
    • 33
    • RETWEETS
    vinceperritanoobamacare69jahonkus__________SailorTweakpimetaradoGinGanderTheFunkodileDylanNelkin
    ChipotIe
  • dril
      wint @dril

    two men emerge from sensory deprivation tanks
    "I just attained oneness with all living beings"
    "I just fucked the Girl rabbit from SpaceJam"

    • 3,644
    • FAVS
    hippieswordfishsbenthallonehalfhuman_FuckTypingdj_mosfettTheAmitietobykeithsweatxPizzaxSlutx
    • 1,682
    • RETWEETS
    Theon_Matthewsonehalfhuman_tobykeithsweatxPizzaxSlutxDovidSchlittsoapbythebarirrevilentbalsamicvinager
    AmSock
  • dril
      wint @dril

    i approve of congres... i believe they are doing a very good job despite negative comments online

    • 680
    • FAVS
    BadNewsCentralBenghaziExpertjlb250Brian_HennessySam_KeadyDanCoolMoonGuyDK_AD_drchriswolfman
    • 190
    • RETWEETS
    BenghaziExpertDanCoolMoonGuydavid_bairdweed_mouseYOLOSWAGATTACKSNickrobJohnGregoryJrlukejcole
    drewgrimaldi
  • dril
      wint @dril

    my next good post is about egg salad. What in the shit?? are you egg or salad? Why is this good. Who's eating it. Check Please. uhhh

    • 605
    • FAVS
    apopagasmTheVictasticKjakeinsidesomecleverthingalvybarishelishashagrantyOfollowdavehome
    • 204
    • RETWEETS
    somecleverthingconomolanfollowdavehomebipermanextremeprismbotothyBakahentai69murdvert
    ChipotIe
@dril

@dril

rat with human face given medal by world health organization

Tweets from @dril most recently awarded Tweet of the Day by Pro Members.