Hurricane Irene has now been downgraded to a British summer.

#stupidquestion How do you handcuff a one-armed man?

Be afraid..... Be VERY afraid!!! pic.twitter.com/AD9SelnOB0

Just observed a dwarf making a complaint at customer service. He said "I'm not happy" I leaned in and asked "Then which one are you?"

Want to look as though you're buying a Womble costume in instalments? Simply get some Ugg boots.

That moment -- when you make eye contact with someone -- and you just want your mate to play it cool!! http://t.co/ZQY5zJtN

#2011musictaughtme that I need a dollar

I have no opinion on this whatsoever!!  http://twitpic.com/acdct8 

Girl of 10 opens family cafe to serve dinner for 50 homeless to keep dead dads promise #MailOnline  http://bit.ly/U90L4K  pic.twitter.com/40isP5aj

From idiots singing .... To now an idiot abroad! And a wee person

It's sinking!!!!! http://t.co/XArNhISF

Funny looking bloke on the bus http://t.co/GlMuRIMY

#London2012 Lit up http://t.co/CHgB0WM7

Shoutout To My New Followers - Hiya 👋 @jayneowens89 @cryptopchick @drinkcherrycoke @michellewild3 @mysty812 @hannady123 @georgette13

Why blokes push the trolley http://t.co/Ds9AsCMT

If I was a sculptor .... But then again no 

Gary Barlow: "It feels like a solo singer with three mediocre backing singers." He'd know #xfactor

RT @skynews: i NEWSPAPER FRONT PAGE: Cameron gives the order to shoot #skypapers http://twitpic.com/63l8fu
#London #Birmingham #Manchester

RT @coastguard_sos: If you spot anyone in trouble on the coast keep calm - dial 999 and ask for the COASTGUARD  http://yfrog.com/moqawewj 

#NorthKoreaFootballChants - He's round, he feeds, he really comes from Leeds Kim Jong Un, Kim Jong Un