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When people say "socially liberal, fiscally conservative" what they generally mean is "I'm financially secure, but not a bigot."
My phone auto-corrects "YOLO" to "Tool". Correct indeed.
If all we ever desire from others is compassion, shouldn't we be the first to give it?
It's a good thing I'm almost thirty years old and everything.
Just great. Now I want a goat.
At some point in time, every single thing you ever did will have become pointless.
This year I will vote for my candidates exactly like I play Mad-Libs in public: Drunk. And crying.
Someday there will be Wikileaks-branded adult-diapers. And won't you be sorry on that day.
On that hobbies/interests section of the form, just go ahead and put "pot".
For some reason, I feel like bacon from a unicorn would just taste better.
I stereotype because it's a great time saver.
"Immigrants are causing the black eyed peas, computer hackers and the cancellation of Freaks and Geeks." - Pretty sure John Mccain
Murderball 2: Extremely Murdered Balls
Let's start a band called "Dollar Store Pregnancy Test"