Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Dear Craigslist, where the hell am I supposed to post pictures of the inside of my bent elbow now?
I thought Bret Farve retired from Poison a long time ago
I'll drink to that*! *anything
if you think you are having a medical or psychiatric emergency, please tweet about it before calling 911
Why don't all cookbooks start with a section about how to treat burns
Fuck you and the whores you rode in on. Pretend that didn't end in a preposition.
I give great headaches
was just sexually harassed. it went okay.
Dear Hollywood: we want harlots, not starlets. Love, The Internet.
Whenever I miss how college was, I drink at work more
It's cute how MapQuest assumes you'll go the speed limit.
I’ll go to the city if someone else drives #BayAreaQuotes
Hawaiian is not an ethnicity. It's a pizza.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME. MY THERAPIST SAYS I'LL PROBABLY BE OK. OR SOMETHING. I WASN'T LISTENING.
Sexy metal pants
Jupiter's cock I'm tired
God gives us rain to remind everyone what shitty drivers you are compared to me
Why isn't going to a spa to be put into a refreshing coma a thing yet
Dear Guy on 101 Flipping Me Off: My day started with dog vomit. You don't scare me.
This Accord next to me is telling me to vote for John Kerry.