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I have CDO. It's like OCD, but the letters are in alphabetical order. Like they should be.
In a good relationship you both wear the pants.
In a great relationship neither of you wear pants.
If you have to ask if it's too early to drink...you're an amateur & we can't be friends
Even if the voices aren't real, they have some pretty good ideas.
I don't like to call it revenge...returning the favor sounds much nicer!
Don't ever talk behind my back, unless you're asking me to raise my ass a little more.
I will star typos because I'm intelligent enough to know what the fuck you meant.
Everyone laughs in the same language.
Don't worry, I'm only crazy enough to make the sex good.
It's fucking scary when I have a thought that's too twisted for Twitter
When you laugh your ass off at your own tweet, you don't need any validation from anyone else.
I will follow anybody that's going to the liquor store.
My misery loves vodka, and hates company.
You say I've already tweeted that. Well aren't you the observant fucking stalker.
Never send a girl to do a whores job.
Leave it to the Mexicans to come up with the piñata. Teaching kids at a young age to beat the shit out of something to get what they want.
Watch how he treats his mom ladies, if he treats her like shit it's gonna be 10 times worse for you.
Is "my dog doesn't hump anyone but you" supposed to be a compliment?
I got an @ from someone that said he would unfollow anyone that retweeted me so please for the sake of god don't retweet this.
I put a massaging gel insole in my panties & it's been a great day!
Sometimes drunk, always naughty! Drunk N Naughty isn't my real name. My real life friends call me Angie. Oklahoma Sooner until the day I die.