#Top10FavouriteOasisSongs
1. Two Bruvs
2. Innit?
3. Pub Row
4. Me Mum
5. Daft Mates
6. Oasis
7. So Naff
8. Knackered
9. Birds
10. Liams Tune

*whips empty tallboy at a fence* fuck, man, i dunno. i just wish… (*long drag of cigarete*)… i just wish i could interact with more brands

*leans into taco bell drive thru mic* The world is a vampire

holy SHIT, there’s a reddit meetup in the bar I’m at and the facial hair on display is like a whitmans sampler of despair

im goeng ApeShit to this Korn album at my Fricking Desk like a Shity Goblin SORRY to EVERYONe who has ever touched my Awful Dick

*TEARS THROUGH IMPERMEABLE WALL OF DEBATE TWEETS* YO I FOR REAL SAW A CLOWN SMOKE A JOINT AT A HIGH SCHOOL BUS STOP TONIGHT

life would be so terrible if your poop cried when it had to leave you

#Top10NINSongs
10. Bug Sex
9. Mean Boss
8. $$$
7. Im Growley
6. Goth Drugs
5. Cyber Penis
4. Leather
3. Power=BAD
2. Tori…
1. >:-(

sometimes writing is cool and easy and fun and sometimes it's like being woken up at 4AM to remove splinters from the paw of a weeping dog

WOW IT SURE IS AWESOME AND NOT FUCKING STUPID THAT BEDS ARE SHAPED LIKE CRAPPY RECTANGLES AND NOT LIKE BIG PLUSH HOT DOG BUNS W/COMFY RELISH

just called my phone a “powerful dickfucker” but realized that’s sort of a compliment so i added “with NO technique”

The thing about babies is, they expect to be the ones throwing up on YOU. Well, guess again, babies.

just woke up from a dream about a 3rd garfield movie in which garfield's power multiplies infinitely so long as he wields the GarfStone

if you ever want to run into a hundred people you haven't seen in awhile, i highly suggest buying something at cvs for your butt or weiner

i cant even tell you guys how deeply i would have been into custom van culture if i were this age in 1979

holy shit youtube comment flamewars on classical music are fucking INCREDIBLE—this dude just called someone a "BAAL-WORSHIPPING SODOMITE"

LIVE LIKE YOU'RE COSPLAYING YOURSELF

right now your body is working as hard as it can WITHOUT your permission to make turds that YOU have to deal with. your body is trolling you

Officer maybe it'll save us both some time if you just tell me what I AM allowed to headbutt

if u ever see me activate a motion sensor light in some way that is NOT extravagant & kick-based i need you to report a clone to the police