first of all who on this website has some big ole titties, second of all can i see them?

What if capitalism worked like mario kart and you got fucked by a blue shell every time you get too far ahead.

"if you want i can come over and install gentoo on your laptop" something I overhead some fedora wearing dude tell a really cute girl today

#FoundAtTheCrimeScene my virginity, which is confusing because I never lost it in the first place

#OneClueHesCheating He keeps peeking at your scantron and finishes his test at the same time you do.

Hey garbage man, you missed some trash *takes polaroid pic of trash man* here you go

#LyricsWeAllKnow ♫♫ Bush did 911, it's true/ sex and weed are cool and twitter is too ♫♫

#WhatHurtsTheMost thinking you made a stellar tweet and you get no RTs or favs

#ThingsThatEnrageDemocrats invisible walls in video games

On a bus I proclaimed"anyone remember stoop kid? only 90s kids will remember!" the bus broke out in applause and I was given key to the city

I'm really glad Big Bang Theory shirts are so popular, saves me the trouble of trying to figure out if they are autistic or not.

Sup gang,school semester is finally over

rap music is good idk why the middle class doesn't like it

@hermit_thrush girls go crazy for the fat pad, go out and fuck all you want.

@ashleyjizzzdale stop ur making me horny

Pre poop weight: 178
Post poop weight: 176 :0

#lifehacks where a belt made of mistletoe to constantly receive oral sex during the holidays

The 2012 New York Jets offensive will go down as the 2nd biggest catastrophe involving jets in New York

#MyPetPeeve died when I was 8, my dad tried to tell me he ran away but I know the truth

wonder if you need a PhD in art to be a sandwich artist at subway??