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  • duplicitron
      Nathan Buckley @duplicitron

    Once at church I opened my eyes during prayer and saw Jesus riding around on a wolf making sure everyone’s eyes were closed.

    • 5,817
    • FAVS
    veggiefaithDadBodyGrantJakeCurtipurplemermaid13MeganBenitonePalomaaRojobeckycatzchloddity
    • 3,581
    • RETWEETS
    MegannMeCrazyyHannahhABeemartasrslyAmysThompsonCMClearlylainitaylorSudawapeeKadawohlberg
    charlzeroradtoriaArroiaBromanConsulDanielRCarrillosummerofbennyBenesh_vladchocEenfidelsethmcduffee______greenteam15101RaceyrobdelaneyJosesLovesYouispypandapattymoJordyHamrick______JiminyKicksItJermHimselfish
  • duplicitron
      Nathan Buckley @duplicitron

    You're hiking. Smokey the Bear appears smoking a cigar. He nods, flicks it into a pile of leaves and smiles, "No one will ever believe you."

    • 3,729
    • FAVS
    aklingusLambyMcSheepsjoshdamncatheyNathanCruz19J_Hollaspork_and_knifeashhole16JordanAshleighR
    • 3,229
    • RETWEETS
    phoinosHank_ShoemallAndrewBrauerA_robb86joshdamncatheymatttjacksonCVTBabyRyanLaRiche
    Playing_DadquickpooperToneLoOnTheGoglenna_optGreenValentia1BigMicktravisauruss______SSDatedTomFuck4AristotlesNZ__SamGrittnerComedyCartermikescollinsMiahSaintbmarked21Kim_pulsiveshruglord
  • duplicitron
      Nathan Buckley @duplicitron

    When God made raccoons he was like do you want to be an old timey burglar or a trash digger. Too slow. You're both now.

    • 4,267
    • FAVS
    _odlanyeRQuintenCawthonmetafrothrayray8894RobotOwldylanfivetimesaproposonothingshartthrob
    • 2,654
    • RETWEETS
    Olivia_FrancescjlmccashawnFrisbie06kittyleopardtgharmanChuckOnDaGeetarphlahmolmiller
    WhatevaConcPlaying_DadBromanConsulGrowlyGregoJasonLastnameghostmeowLostCatDoggavinpivottnaazihahFormerChildPeachCoffinPajamaBen_
  • duplicitron
      Nathan Buckley @duplicitron

    This pizza looks like a pie chart of 100% good news.

    • 2,790
    • FAVS
    _odlanyeRSam75283744LaBelleMaeFunnyBoneClubsdmutatiyakuza94930775TexasDZJosDonovan
    • 1,562
    • RETWEETS
    MSWard52aksbuzzjillianjaneWhatevaConcCoolAdult93cassandr_ahaOyeBattipatrickoriley
    mikescollinszachreinert03CurranOnTheCobh3ll0d0llyNotthatAdamWestIrishVinOhDuarteKendragardenprimawesomedaliamalek
  • duplicitron
      Nathan Buckley @duplicitron

    What if firemen acted like policemen and just drove around shooting water at anyone who looked like they might catch on fire.

    • 2,104
    • FAVS
    _odlanyeRLaBelleMaethecreakMariaSmildeyablkojmlaveyhirsuiteofamouratanenhaus
    • 1,643
    • RETWEETS
    GarrettOnParadezomnqCoolAdult93CyrusJamesMusicmorggielovesyouTacoFetusTheUnDanielpatrickoriley
    SamGrittnernaazihahgdflyesehhechtJermHimselfishchrisjoonior
  • duplicitron
      Nathan Buckley @duplicitron

    I accidentally grabbed the wrong shopping cart but am hoping this kid will stop screaming soon because I am not raising a cry baby.

    • 2,228
    • FAVS
    _odlanyeRmissworld9999philboxallmat_perryGenHeathnatdowdsnils86Ckklara
    • 1,095
    • RETWEETS
    missworld9999moniquecooltjukkkPatrickpunktFFrallsmulaTimEdgrenelinanordstrmFannyRydstrand
    greenteam15lil_aracuanartfeedsmia
  • duplicitron
      Nathan Buckley @duplicitron

    Next time you’re swallowed by a whale, stand up through the blowhole like it’s a sunroof on a limo. Throw your arms up. Have some fun.

    • 1,985
    • FAVS
    _odlanyeRLaBelleMaeSharkJellyhollyhenderson7ConnorMackenziiLalo0607atanenhausgesebella
    • 1,294
    • RETWEETS
    LaBelleMaeAndrewBrauerkellschhmcerk1017tuckerjoenzdebadeedebadahCoolAdult93jaggedape
    grimpossiblelil_aracuantnylgnlawblobBassoonJokesTheDairylandDonKKAlThaniBuddyAckersweet_toofCelebrityChezrobfeePeppersprayJNeutrontrilogyDJHouseSlippersMcJizzernutzLola_Areola
  • duplicitron
      Nathan Buckley @duplicitron

    Just found out that a MILF doesn’t necessarily have to be your own mom.

    • 2,057
    • FAVS
    _odlanyeRfi_ryhanaskellingtn__fudgeasaurEusMujpinkflemingosbm1313jpkelly94
    • 768
    • RETWEETS
    ChuckManMeat69shadesoftaarAndrewBrauerTuffGeniusMrPrag_LexxiferLiterotica_commeinkampf13
    CVTBabyABurgerADay
  • duplicitron
      Nathan Buckley @duplicitron

    I accidentally left a blood orange next to a crip orange and now there’s fucking juice everywhere.

    • 1,849
    • FAVS
    LaBelleMaeMurrayOverboardbelalunaetsyLambyMcSheepsUnfitForSaleIcedBMichaelZigelmanLisa_Bizzle
    • 948
    • RETWEETS
    belalunaetsyTHE_JM_GiancarloBFH1arrsayRasbanda_ManoloMaileyHayoaustinmmorganJHasan97
    matt_obrienmadamezoobleSlickestOfRicksRummyLaudedSamGrittnerWetzelGeek
  • duplicitron
      Nathan Buckley @duplicitron

    Sometimes a family is walking towards you taking up the entire sidewalk and you have no choice but to just become part of that family.

    • 1,681
    • FAVS
    _odlanyeRLaBelleMaegiveusalolLola_Your_Bunnysk_sophiaDillonFletchergreen_eyed_dollTweets_GoneWild
    • 763
    • RETWEETS
    AndrewBrauergiveusalolLola_Your_Bunnyshadingomaamanonthemoon94Tweets_GoneWildgspartenmonialton
    REALityDUMBBigMedwardsCaseyMcCollum
  • duplicitron
      Nathan Buckley @duplicitron

    Actually I’ve been a girl in like four different video games so I think I know what it’s like OK.

    • 1,485
    • FAVS
    _odlanyeRLaBelleMaeitsJeaniusnicholaspatriRIPJakearthursoltysjLizaFZkevincc13
    • 621
    • RETWEETS
    soltysjMahmoud_RotanihuffpaintgeoraffesJoshporterfieldbigolfaggotmylifeishaljake_likes_naps
    SamGrittnerpattymororynotroyOhDuarteOhNoSheTwitntMandySlambergthe_kizzle
  • duplicitron
      Nathan Buckley @duplicitron

    Well it took forever but I just paid the pizza guy entirely with the quarters I found behind his ears.

    • 1,366
    • FAVS
    ZedKamuzutheJOSHsound_odlanyeRMentToBragphilboxallhannahsojkmetafrothMajesticMauro
    • 457
    • RETWEETS
    EricTheGoerRStudbakert_womeldorffjuicelikerkristinbrinermikewaldron115weffy93curlyreddesign
    Home_Halfway
  • duplicitron
      Nathan Buckley @duplicitron

    Free joke for rats: Pick up a cashew and pretend to use it as a phone.

    • 1,374
    • FAVS
    _odlanyeRLaBelleMaemrcraigulator_solarflareTawnyaDenicecloudypianosdarinlovesbaconAndrewHasCats
    • 423
    • RETWEETS
    mrcraigulatorfavstar_history1BigMickElsebeestem_dasherevanapplegatePulsefireRainorgegtik
    pantsDJHouseSlippers
  • duplicitron
      Nathan Buckley @duplicitron

    I wish hot dogs were made out of the people that want to tell you what hot dogs are made out of.

    • 1,189
    • FAVS
    _odlanyeRLaBelleMaebelalunaetsyLambyMcSheepsjmlaveyMeghanVarnumsoltysjHarris2415
    • 571
    • RETWEETS
    MeghanVarnumsoltysjSchlecktermattjk___hellyeah63EldieKaySufficientCharmHuajatollaChic
    naazihahmountainlexbrakco
  • duplicitron
      Nathan Buckley @duplicitron

    I just jumped over a frog and made him look so stupid in front of like all of nature.

    • 1,215
    • FAVS
    _odlanyeRLaBelleMaeLambyMcSheepsjmlaveysydney_mariemsoltysjHarris2415jamesjhamilton
    • 459
    • RETWEETS
    soltysjBonelessMelongeishalynLynnLuigbubbathyj__samxmalonetrippingmellymeganshpettit
    hottubpeejedfudallyNickBossRossglenna_optrorynotroylil_aracuan
  • duplicitron
      Nathan Buckley @duplicitron

    I want to have at least three kids so I can line them up and jump them with my bike.

    • 1,207
    • FAVS
    radioactDEVbobby_hawkins_odlanyeRColleen_BrownnMyke_EBcakesteinSuvieDCG_BearXOXO
    • 433
    • RETWEETS
    radioactDEVbobby_hawkinsmissworld9999GabbieComptonSuvieDCLaBelleMaeMattaldiMjvitola02
    lil_aracuan
  • duplicitron
      Nathan Buckley @duplicitron

    I told this girl I wrote a song about her but really I just copied a soup recipe and replaced some of the vegetables with her name.

    • 1,083
    • FAVS
    LaBelleMaeitsJeaniusbelalunaetsystockejocknikhimselfsquibbleJonJon_Brownkurbstomper
    • 515
    • RETWEETS
    CVTBabyWhatsGoing_OngSarahKobrosly1littlefeatfanadvicefrommegSam_Alan33__ReaAmbrosiALaura_Knoxville
    ManateeJackIGotsSmartsCaseyMcCollum
  • duplicitron
      Nathan Buckley @duplicitron

    Ask someone for the time then disagree with them and ask someone else.

    • 1,116
    • FAVS
    _odlanyeRHollyMemphisLaBelleMaeLambyMcSheepsjoeyb_bridgeSam75283744turnoffthissongdarkwingfunk
    • 471
    • RETWEETS
    giventofly41soltysjmissworld9999KimJongNealeyouunicornsyounotyourpapapunditcommentTheLostCause_
    CaseyMcCollumDanKCharnley
  • duplicitron
      Nathan Buckley @duplicitron

    Once a guy at the grocery store yelled at me to stop talking on a banana like a phone so I hung up and shot him with it.

    • 1,055
    • FAVS
    _odlanyeRj_massacciGringoXavDrGhostbabyFrenulumBreveSamReidSaysTipsycaekFrigginboom
    • 421
    • RETWEETS
    dtipsonSaulKewlJonathanKennisrebeccaglintalknerdyDMUrenniewritesMarloBC1somecleverthing
  • duplicitron
      Nathan Buckley @duplicitron

    It seems like mexican skeletons are always having a way better time than regular skeletons.

    • 968
    • FAVS
    BaggypantsrichknottedwingsMaureenMoc10_chrisgarcia_odlanyeRallegraringodpazamykaycannon
    • 448
    • RETWEETS
    dpazmae_marsmatthwedwardsMcGinnHollyFormerlyHurogGikatiejomcgladedawinshipchelsrunnn
    JaymayAllDay
@duplicitron

@duplicitron
Pro

A wicker basket filled with lemons and writer at UCB Theater LA and iO West. http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/e63aec1c00/garbage-wolf-rebel-nerd