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  • duplicitron
      Nathan Buckley @duplicitron

    Once at church I opened my eyes during prayer and saw Jesus riding around on a wolf making sure everyone’s eyes were closed.

    • 5,648
    • FAVS
    GrimhamLambyMcSheepsqueenwnderbreadmagic_and_lovecatiehousmanmattmylerpbandjannJaredSage
    • 3,509
    • RETWEETS
    kkkkimberlyGarrettOnParadeArcticChimps92jaredmcclaveRooneyntheBeastScootScoootjohnnyfrohlmasaatt
    charlzeroradtoriaArroiaBromanConsulDanielRCarrillosummerofbennyBenesh_vladchocEenfidelsethmcduffee______greenteam15101RaceyrobdelaneyJosesLovesYouispypandapattymoJordyHamrick______JiminyKicksItJermHimselfish
  • duplicitron
      Nathan Buckley @duplicitron

    You're hiking. Smokey the Bear appears smoking a cigar. He nods, flicks it into a pile of leaves and smiles, "No one will ever believe you."

    • 3,729
    • FAVS
    LambyMcSheepsjoshdamncatheyNathanCruz19J_Hollaspork_and_knifeashhole16JordanAshleighRcloudypianos
    • 3,228
    • RETWEETS
    A_robb86joshdamncatheymatttjacksonCVTBabyRyanLaRichesoltysjRealJinjaNinja2Liggett
    Playing_DadquickpooperToneLoOnTheGoglenna_optGreenValentia1BigMicktravisauruss______SSDatedTomFuck4AristotlesNZ__SamGrittnerComedyCartermikescollinsMiahSaintbmarked21Kim_pulsiveshruglord
  • duplicitron
      Nathan Buckley @duplicitron

    When God made raccoons he was like do you want to be an old timey burglar or a trash digger. Too slow. You're both now.

    • 4,249
    • FAVS
    LambyMcSheepsOGSashaSketchySpices0m4hannalikesdogsJ_GrrAubrieWynn88thepaulbooth
    • 2,647
    • RETWEETS
    smeempsmichael_romanosVickyCrenshawOGSashaLonely_SlicebryceTea_conorgiardVomitUnicorn
    Playing_DadBromanConsulGrowlyGregoJasonLastnameghostmeowLostCatDoggavinpivottnaazihahFormerChildPeachCoffinPajamaBen_
  • duplicitron
      Nathan Buckley @duplicitron

    This pizza looks like a pie chart of 100% good news.

    • 2,787
    • FAVS
    FunnyBoneClubsdmutatiyakuza94930775TexasDZJosDonovanAUdarthBorkBorkulatorWhatevaConc
    • 1,560
    • RETWEETS
    jillianjaneWhatevaConcCoolAdult93cassandr_ahaTruckDiBattipatrickorileyBonesGleetard7angelaafleming__
    mikescollinszachreinert03CurranOnTheCobh3ll0d0llyNotthatAdamWestIrishVinOhDuarteKendragardenprimawesomedaliamalek
  • duplicitron
      Nathan Buckley @duplicitron

    What if firemen acted like policemen and just drove around shooting water at anyone who looked like they might catch on fire.

    • 2,102
    • FAVS
    thecreakMariaSmildeyablkojmlaveyhirsuiteofamouratanenhaussnook_matthewcraigpilo
    • 1,643
    • RETWEETS
    GarrettOnParadezomnqCoolAdult93CyrusJamesMusicmorggielovesyouTacoFetusTheUnDanielpatrickoriley
    SamGrittnernaazihahgdflyesehhechtJermHimselfishchrisjoonior
  • duplicitron
      Nathan Buckley @duplicitron

    Next time you’re swallowed by a whale, stand up through the blowhole like it’s a sunroof on a limo. Throw your arms up. Have some fun.

    • 1,980
    • FAVS
    Lalo0607atanenhausgesebellaAngelaEhhTheTalkingPipesnook_matthewdebadeedebadahJohnyUtah139
    • 1,292
    • RETWEETS
    kellschhmcerk1017tuckerjoenzdebadeedebadahCoolAdult93jaggedapecassandr_ahapatrickoriley
    grimpossiblelil_aracuantnylgnlawblobBassoonJokesTheDairylandDonKKAlThaniBuddyAckersweet_toofCelebrityChezrobfeePeppersprayJNeutrontrilogyDJHouseSlippersMcJizzernutzLola_Areola
  • duplicitron
      Nathan Buckley @duplicitron

    Just found out that a MILF doesn’t necessarily have to be your own mom.

    • 2,056
    • FAVS
    IpsterVerdaderopinkflemingosbm1313jpkelly94jmlaveyjacksonroyenicholaspatrifoggy____
    • 767
    • RETWEETS
    TuffGeniusMrPragLetItBeAlexisLiterotica_commeinkampf13Doctor_Fucktardladyformidablespottheotter
    CVTBabyABurgerADay
  • duplicitron
      Nathan Buckley @duplicitron

    I accidentally left a blood orange next to a crip orange and now there’s fucking juice everywhere.

    • 1,848
    • FAVS
    MurrayOverboardbelalunaetsyLambyMcSheepsUnfitForSaleIcedBMichaelZigelmanLisa_Bizzle_abreakapause
    • 948
    • RETWEETS
    belalunaetsyTHE_JM_Giancarlotfo1arrsayRasbanda_ManoloMaileyHayoaustinmmorganJHasan97
    matt_obrienmadamezoobleSlickestOfRicksRummyLaudedSamGrittnerWetzelGeek
  • duplicitron
      Nathan Buckley @duplicitron

    Sometimes a family is walking towards you taking up the entire sidewalk and you have no choice but to just become part of that family.

    • 1,679
    • FAVS
    giveusalolHappyGoFuckidysk_sophiaDillonFletchergreen_eyed_dollTweets_GoneWildRummyLaudedmonialton
    • 762
    • RETWEETS
    giveusalolHappyGoFuckidyshadingomaamanonthemoon94Tweets_GoneWildgspartenmonialtonoffshore122
    REALityDUMBBigMedwardsCaseyMcCollum
  • duplicitron
      Nathan Buckley @duplicitron

    I accidentally grabbed the wrong shopping cart but am hoping this kid will stop screaming soon because I am not raising a cry baby.

    • 1,494
    • FAVS
    LambyMcSheepsMichael_ErhartLythiasKatdenningvonnywritesspjones1968LucasMightmitchspicer
    • 747
    • RETWEETS
    tompfingstenmitchspicer69shadesoftaarImanBee123somecleverthingHarris2415soul_to_squeezREALityDUMB
    greenteam15lil_aracuanartfeedsmia
  • duplicitron
      Nathan Buckley @duplicitron

    Actually I’ve been a girl in like four different video games so I think I know what it’s like OK.

    • 1,482
    • FAVS
    nicholaspatriRIPJakearthursoltysjLizaFZkevincc13ihuffpaintcgressett25notalogin
    • 621
    • RETWEETS
    soltysjMahmoud_RotanihuffpaintgeoraffesJoshporterfieldbigolfaggotmylifeishaljake_likes_naps
    SamGrittnerpattymororynotroyOhDuarteOhNoSheTwitntMandySlambergthe_kizzle
  • duplicitron
      Nathan Buckley @duplicitron

    Free joke for rats: Pick up a cashew and pretend to use it as a phone.

    • 1,372
    • FAVS
    mrcraigulator_solarflareTawnyaDenicecloudypianosdarinlovesbaconAndrewHasCatspeachgrenade1BigMick
    • 423
    • RETWEETS
    mrcraigulatorfavstar_history1BigMickElsebeestem_dasherevanapplegatePulsefireRainorgegtik
    pantsDJHouseSlippers
  • duplicitron
      Nathan Buckley @duplicitron

    Well it took forever but I just paid the pizza guy entirely with the quarters I found behind his ears.

    • 1,335
    • FAVS
    EssietwietizabelleOHMustBeAdamthethugdealerStevenKeithHazethezenbastardBrennaHampshireRobLikesToYell
    • 442
    • RETWEETS
    thethugdealerDangOlWillCmesser6Messertylermcjunkin26zaneologyT_JO24drewmcfrizzHowaya_Phelan
    Home_Halfway
  • duplicitron
      Nathan Buckley @duplicitron

    I wish hot dogs were made out of the people that want to tell you what hot dogs are made out of.

    • 1,187
    • FAVS
    belalunaetsyLambyMcSheepsjmlaveyMeghanVarnumsoltysjHarris2415_swamphagdustinmizelle
    • 571
    • RETWEETS
    MeghanVarnumsoltysjSchlecktermattjk_brownpoopypantsEldieKaySufficientCharmHuajatollaChic
    naazihahmountainlexbrakco
  • duplicitron
      Nathan Buckley @duplicitron

    I just jumped over a frog and made him look so stupid in front of like all of nature.

    • 1,213
    • FAVS
    LambyMcSheepsjmlaveysydney_mariemsoltysjHarris2415jamesjhamiltondokuyanemrejewfacekilla
    • 459
    • RETWEETS
    soltysjBonelessMelongeishalynLynnLuigbubbathyjsamxmalonetrippingmellymeganshpettit
    hottubpeejedfudallyNickBossRossglenna_optrorynotroylil_aracuan
  • duplicitron
      Nathan Buckley @duplicitron

    I want to have at least three kids so I can line them up and jump them with my bike.

    • 1,196
    • FAVS
    jaclynjo82CameronCrageSKYLRmusicRealAlexKielhomestdtestleovaderaleksanderwosikShane_Tolley
    • 431
    • RETWEETS
    aleksanderwosikTh3PezDispencerahrehonnnnjefwin46mauraphobiaBenAldrittestattinsandyjreese
    lil_aracuan
  • duplicitron
      Nathan Buckley @duplicitron

    I told this girl I wrote a song about her but really I just copied a soup recipe and replaced some of the vegetables with her name.

    • 1,081
    • FAVS
    belalunaetsystockejocknikhimselfsquibbleJonJon_BrownkurbstomperMmeLaCroozStellacopter
    • 515
    • RETWEETS
    CVTBabyWhatsGoing_OngSarahKobrosly1littlefeatfanadvicefrommegSam_Alan33ReaAmbrosiALaura_Knoxville
    ManateeJackIGotsSmartsCaseyMcCollum
  • duplicitron
      Nathan Buckley @duplicitron

    Ask someone for the time then disagree with them and ask someone else.

    • 1,113
    • FAVS
    LambyMcSheepsjoeyb_bridgeSam75283744turnoffthissongdarkwingfunkStaceeeeeyyyyyFaithKuzmasoltysj
    • 471
    • RETWEETS
    giventofly41soltysjmissworld9999KimJongNealeyouunicornsyounotyourpapapunditcommentTheLostCause_
    CaseyMcCollumDanKCharnley
  • duplicitron
      Nathan Buckley @duplicitron

    Once a guy at the grocery store yelled at me to stop talking on a banana like a phone so I hung up and shot him with it.

    • 1,004
    • FAVS
    TheMarshMachineMrFox818MustBeAdamthethugdealercatherynpaulosMikeMcKenna89thezenbastardRobLikesToYell
    • 402
    • RETWEETS
    DangOlWillfavstar1000favsAnonymousN3RDRobLikesToYellShawnW_22darth_kevin_garyreynoldsStephenSheevo
  • duplicitron
      Nathan Buckley @duplicitron

    Look I'm sorry about your lamp but automatic karate is a serious disease.

    • 992
    • FAVS
    LambyMcSheepsjmlaveyWhoopdeedoo22jewfacekillaElleOhHellchristinawilderLeeptheSneaksomecleverthing
    • 409
    • RETWEETS
    LambyMcSheepsLeeptheSneaksomecleverthingCharmandBrainsvictorialingeSmiley_VirusssSam_Alan33LukeIsSexy
    craydriennescrirc____________weinerdog4life
@duplicitron

@duplicitron
Pro

A wicker basket filled with lemons and writer at UCB Theater LA and iO West. http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/e63aec1c00/garbage-wolf-rebel-nerd