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  • duplicitron
      Nathan Buckley @duplicitron

    Once at church I opened my eyes during prayer and saw Jesus riding around on a wolf making sure everyone’s eyes were closed.

    • 5,845
    • FAVS
    spencer_majka15leah_stinsonDan_ONeillClassyNickTblindinglights3EmilioSalccedoUndressedDamseldamawa42
    • 3,589
    • RETWEETS
    Brettmorey1allisonivers02_DajnarileygauntBurt_McTurdUndressedDamselSean_S_SmythTeaAndCopy
    charlzeroradtoriaArroiaBromanConsulDanielRCarrillosummerofbennyBenesh_vladchocEenfidelsethmcduffee______greenteam15101RaceyrobdelaneyJosesLovesYouispypandapattymoJordyHamrick______JiminyKicksItJermHimselfish
  • duplicitron
      Nathan Buckley @duplicitron

    You're hiking. Smokey the Bear appears smoking a cigar. He nods, flicks it into a pile of leaves and smiles, "No one will ever believe you."

    • 3,731
    • FAVS
    FrakkingAwesomeJenGwenSvenShaistaJustinMr_Kapowskikrishna_vanBenDoughertyaklingusLambyMcSheeps
    • 3,231
    • RETWEETS
    JenGwenSvenB1gBrainsMcGeeMr_KapowskiMSWard52krishna_vankrisshafferphoinosHank_Shoemall
    Playing_DadquickpooperToneLoOnTheGoglenna_optGreenValentia1BigMicktravisauruss______SSDatedTomFuck4AristotlesNZ__SamGrittnerComedyCartermikescollinsMiahSaintbmarked21Kim_pulsiveshruglord
  • duplicitron
      Nathan Buckley @duplicitron

    When God made raccoons he was like do you want to be an old timey burglar or a trash digger. Too slow. You're both now.

    • 4,268
    • FAVS
    lmdsCookieVangelistB1gBrainsMcGeeHubertsTaraVicFutureyogivemeabeatDonna_McCoyPJTLynch
    • 2,656
    • RETWEETS
    PSBurtonVicFutureDonna_McCoyPJTLynchDangerLuvr83krishna_vansandwichJOYOlivia_Francesc
    WhatevaConcPlaying_DadBromanConsulGrowlyGregoJasonLastnameghostmeowLostCatDoggavinpivottnaazihahFormerChildPeachCoffinPajamaBen_
  • duplicitron
      Nathan Buckley @duplicitron

    This pizza looks like a pie chart of 100% good news.

    • 2,794
    • FAVS
    B1gBrainsMcGeeMr_Kapowskityler_owen5oxbat___odlanyeRYo_Simmity_SamLaBelleMaeFunnyBoneClubs
    • 1,565
    • RETWEETS
    ShastiniMr_KapowskisandwichJOYMSWard52aksbuzzjillianjaneWhatevaConcCoolAdult93
    mikescollinszachreinert03CurranOnTheCobh3ll0d0llyNotthatAdamWestIrishVinOhDuarteKendragardenprimawesomedaliamalek
  • duplicitron
      Nathan Buckley @duplicitron

    What if firemen acted like policemen and just drove around shooting water at anyone who looked like they might catch on fire.

    • 2,111
    • FAVS
    B1gBrainsMcGeeBakwasTweetsBro0kerMr_KapowskiCoolishCoolidgechuchugoogooTomPlute_odlanyeR
    • 1,646
    • RETWEETS
    BakwasTweetsMr_KapowskiTomPluteGarrettOnParadezomnqCoolAdult93CyrusJamesMusicmorggielovesyou
    SamGrittnernaazihahgdflyesehhechtJermHimselfishchrisjoonior
  • duplicitron
      Nathan Buckley @duplicitron

    I accidentally grabbed the wrong shopping cart but am hoping this kid will stop screaming soon because I am not raising a cry baby.

    • 2,255
    • FAVS
    JeffRicksDudeSimdustriesMichaelLPaigeMRaufmanGladdyBearashleyklejnageochilichinchillawilly
    • 1,096
    • RETWEETS
    hatchjennyoadrianneeyogaplantsCosby4PrezDanielRCarrillovee_katAZaleckaHomieLakebranch
    greenteam15lil_aracuanartfeedsmia
  • duplicitron
      Nathan Buckley @duplicitron

    Next time you’re swallowed by a whale, stand up through the blowhole like it’s a sunroof on a limo. Throw your arms up. Have some fun.

    • 1,987
    • FAVS
    B1gBrainsMcGeeMr_Kapowski_odlanyeRLaBelleMaeSharkJellyhollyhenderson7ConnorMackenziiLalo0607
    • 1,295
    • RETWEETS
    Mr_KapowskiLaBelleMaeAndrewBrauerkellschhmcerk1017tuckerjoenzdebadeedebadahCoolAdult93
    grimpossiblelil_aracuantnylgnlawblobBassoonJokesTheDairylandDonKKAlThaniBuddyAckersweet_toofCelebrityChezrobfeePeppersprayJNeutrontrilogyDJHouseSlippersMcJizzernutzLola_Areola
  • duplicitron
      Nathan Buckley @duplicitron

    Just found out that a MILF doesn’t necessarily have to be your own mom.

    • 2,059
    • FAVS
    DaSalamonderprettygoodyearB1gBrainsMcGeesanityinabottleLoverOfComics94Cheeseboy22powerpuss_Miss_Firefly_
    • 769
    • RETWEETS
    prettygoodyearLoverOfComics94ReginaldDennysMr_KapowskiChuckManMeat69shadesoftaarAndrewBrauerTuffGenius
    CVTBabyABurgerADay
  • duplicitron
      Nathan Buckley @duplicitron

    I accidentally left a blood orange next to a crip orange and now there’s fucking juice everywhere.

    • 1,849
    • FAVS
    LaBelleMaeMurrayOverboardbelalunaetsyLambyMcSheepsUnfitForSaleIcedBMichaelZigelmanLisa_Bizzle
    • 948
    • RETWEETS
    belalunaetsyTHE_JM_GiancarloBFH1arrsay__Rasbanda_ManoloMaileyHayoaustinmmorganJHasan97
    matt_obrienmadamezoobleSlickestOfRicksRummyLaudedSamGrittnerWetzelGeek
  • duplicitron
      Nathan Buckley @duplicitron

    Sometimes a family is walking towards you taking up the entire sidewalk and you have no choice but to just become part of that family.

    • 1,681
    • FAVS
    _odlanyeRLaBelleMaegiveusalolLola_Your_Bunnysk_sophiaDillonFletchergreen_eyed_dollTweets_GoneWild
    • 764
    • RETWEETS
    mordumAndrewBrauergiveusalolLola_Your_Bunnyshadingomaamanonthemoon94Tweets_GoneWildgsparten
    REALityDUMBBigMedwardsCaseyMcCollum
  • duplicitron
      Nathan Buckley @duplicitron

    Actually I’ve been a girl in like four different video games so I think I know what it’s like OK.

    • 1,485
    • FAVS
    _odlanyeRLaBelleMaeitsJeaniusnicholaspatriRIPJakearthursoltysjLizaFZkevincc13
    • 622
    • RETWEETS
    mordumsoltysjMahmoud_RotanihuffpaintgeoraffesJoshporterfieldbigolfaggotmylifeishal
    SamGrittnerpattymororynotroyOhDuarteOhNoSheTwitntMandySlambergthe_kizzle
  • duplicitron
      Nathan Buckley @duplicitron

    Well it took forever but I just paid the pizza guy entirely with the quarters I found behind his ears.

    • 1,449
    • FAVS
    trumpetcakejuliarox88Krisleigh81RealHyperianitsjonnyyr_ajfm__jeff_fukushimamax_rbmc
    • 479
    • RETWEETS
    Blitz_Gods_ajfm__patriceflaccolikeagschmitzBleekerNealnulljoshjjmctipsyBandersnaaatch
    Home_Halfway
  • duplicitron
      Nathan Buckley @duplicitron

    A little about me: my favorite song is happy birthday and my favorite band is just my mom singing it.

    • 1,486
    • FAVS
    RandomAnticsSallingsSamradtoriaCoookies94ryanmteterTheJaredLoftismadikerynpamAlways__beliebe
    • 431
    • RETWEETS
    christleehooksCoookies94ITuoheyiVerneeKShotgunWillie18fuzzlimelive_skate_diejesseeinstein
  • duplicitron
      Nathan Buckley @duplicitron

    Free joke for rats: Pick up a cashew and pretend to use it as a phone.

    • 1,374
    • FAVS
    _odlanyeRLaBelleMaemrcraigulator_solarflareTawnyaDenicecloudypianosdarinlovesbaconAndrewHasCats
    • 423
    • RETWEETS
    mrcraigulatorfavstar_history1BigMickElsebeestem_dasherevanapplegatemankdemesgegtik
    pantsDJHouseSlippers
  • duplicitron
      Nathan Buckley @duplicitron

    I wish hot dogs were made out of the people that want to tell you what hot dogs are made out of.

    • 1,189
    • FAVS
    _odlanyeRLaBelleMaebelalunaetsyLambyMcSheepsjmlaveyMeghanVarnumsoltysjHarris2415
    • 571
    • RETWEETS
    MeghanVarnumsoltysjSchlecktermattjk___hellyeah63EldieKaySufficientCharmHuajatollaChic
    naazihahmountainlexbrakco
  • duplicitron
      Nathan Buckley @duplicitron

    I just jumped over a frog and made him look so stupid in front of like all of nature.

    • 1,216
    • FAVS
    _rickks_odlanyeRLaBelleMaeLambyMcSheepsjmlaveysydney_mariemsoltysjHarris2415
    • 461
    • RETWEETS
    fgb_sherlockgiventofly41soltysjBonelessMelongeishalynLynnLuigbubbathyjsamxmalone
    hottubpeejedfudallyNickBossRossglenna_optrorynotroylil_aracuan
  • duplicitron
      Nathan Buckley @duplicitron

    I want to have at least three kids so I can line them up and jump them with my bike.

    • 1,207
    • FAVS
    badguymileysoonerick76kevinjmac17radioactDEVbobby_hawkins_odlanyeRColleen_BrownnMyke_EB
    • 433
    • RETWEETS
    radioactDEVbobby_hawkinsmissworld9999GabbieComptonSuvieDCLaBelleMaeMattaldiMjvitola02
    lil_aracuan
  • duplicitron
      Nathan Buckley @duplicitron

    I told this girl I wrote a song about her but really I just copied a soup recipe and replaced some of the vegetables with her name.

    • 1,083
    • FAVS
    LaBelleMaeitsJeaniusbelalunaetsystockejocknikhimselfsquibbleJonJon_Brownkurbstomper
    • 516
    • RETWEETS
    mordumCVTBabyWhatsGoing_OngSarahKobrosly1littlefeatfanadvicefrommegSam_Alan33__ReaAmbrosiA
    ManateeJackIGotsSmartsCaseyMcCollum
  • duplicitron
      Nathan Buckley @duplicitron

    Ask someone for the time then disagree with them and ask someone else.

    • 1,116
    • FAVS
    _odlanyeRHollyMemphisLaBelleMaeLambyMcSheepsjoeyb_bridgeYo_Simmity_Samturnoffthissongdarkwingfunk
    • 471
    • RETWEETS
    giventofly41soltysjmissworld9999KimJongNealeyouunicornsyounotyourpapapunditcommentTheLostCause_
    CaseyMcCollumDanKCharnley
  • duplicitron
      Nathan Buckley @duplicitron

    Once a guy at the grocery store yelled at me to stop talking on a banana like a phone so I hung up and shot him with it.

    • 1,062
    • FAVS
    cato_johnsonitsjonnyyrwoobasherKlascorunkindatrunkCompocolypse_odlanyeRj_massacci
    • 422
    • RETWEETS
    Doctor_FucktardmordumdtipsonSaulKewlJonathanKennisrebeccaglintalknerdyDMUrenniewrites
@duplicitron

@duplicitron
Pro

A wicker basket filled with lemons and writer at UCB Theater LA and iO West. http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/e63aec1c00/garbage-wolf-rebel-nerd