It's nearly @courage_moon's birthday, and I'm currently poisoning her gift, and hoping FedEx will ship it on time.

@facing_janice and @courage_moon are the funnest people on Earth! I want to hang out with them and watch/smoke Pineapple Express.

@courage_moon Your mom's cool, but I like you better. You've quoted me both Mark Twain and Charlie Kelly. That makes you infinity awesome.

Do you really know what Superman does in phone booths? The answer may surprise you.

Why do people hold the movie E.T. in such high regard? I don't find a movie about a retarded alien at all interesting.

@courage_moon, did you know ears are most flavorful after being spoken to, but not forgiven?

Praying the gay away is as useless as praying period.

@courage_moon I'm not racist, but I don't support intergration

@courage_moon Ask Tron Cat. He'll know what to do.

Happy Birthday, @jeepathecreepa!!!!! In honor of this day, just gimme a name and they'll be made...quiet.

@courage_moon, my step-son's Facebook profile pic is Patrick Bateman. That boy is the son I always wanted.

@courage_moon GOLF WANG!!!

@courage_moon Don't forget the grave-e.

@courage_moon Did you cut the legs off the models?

@courage_moon Fuck Bill O'Rielly.

@courage_moon You can also kick him in the balls without guilt.

@courage_moon, why didn't you remind me that it was Dia de los Muertos? That was very loose butthole of you.

Does my neck look like a dogs vagina? RT @courage_moon: @glenn_howerton shut up, street rat.

I want to bang James Franco RT @courage_moon: I have a really big crush on Linda Cardellini

@courage_moon You have a few nice bowties he could wear.