"Do something that I want you to do without me actually telling you that I want you to do it or I'll get upset." — Girls

LMAO , OSX Lion being released today in the Mac App Store only - Here are some alternate Apple OSX names. http://t.co/QAOB9vK via @twitpic

So guys are we ready for the marathon or what ? • @kavyarooney @mufc_forlife @1sthandjawaani 🏃🏃🏥

Seriously could @google do no better, this on Republic Day? Land of Elephants? I haven't seen fucking elephants in fucking years !!!

Add rain to the list of things I increasingly dislike as I grow older, right behind growing older

"Its Sunday Morning" is a great excuse not to do things.

#itsabaddaywhen you don't get that good morning text from someone special.

that awkward moment when rebecca black asks justin bieber to do a duet and he has to say never...#neversaynever

@yaakov_h @evazebra even chrome console takes more than a second trying to render that tweet  http://cl.ly/LyIB 

The Samsung Galaxy SII Skyrocket’s Default Email Sig Is The Stupidest Thing You’ll Ever See [Humor] http://t.co/4bPkHqhw

Oh shit. I lost 4 hours of sleep. I hope I find them this afternoon.

Awesome atmosphere. http://t.co/7mG25UXm

i will "Connect with Facebook" to your website right after I fax you my private details, you cocksucking robots.

Saying something unfunny and adding LOL at the end does not make it funny. LOL

On facebook how do i unsubscribe people's shared shitty ass links and ugly smelly pictures and quotes :@

"Happiness is the absence of striving for happiness." — Chang-Tzu

Steve Jobs Wins a Grammy

There's really no reason that a three-finger swipe shouldn't navigate through tabs in Safari on the iPad.

I felt like a hero when I saved you from choking to death by pulling my cock out of your mouth

Katy perry without making. she is a bomb. http://t.co/wV2NGUVo