I don't wanna write papers. I just wanna roll 'em, brother. #getwaste420 #weedtweets @stoner_stuff

it bugs me when people don't respond to my texts. if you don't want to talk to me, you can tell me. I'll stop texting you. simple stuff.

So @barackobama has read all of my sexts? That's kinda hot. #NSA

maybe if everyone in North Carolina c'mon and raises up, takes their shirts off and spins em like a helicopter, it'll divert the storm.

so Trayvon Martin smoked weed, therefor proving he was "up to no good"? right on, American society. keep being fucking stupid.

I wonder if racist shitnecks like @germanwarrior77 and @rockwell_girl realize that we are all descendants of Africans. Books. Read them.

maybe all of you stoners will grow up and start doing cocaine like goddamn adults.

I'm in love with your grace, your aura, your essence. I carved your name in my arm. I'm off my antidepressants.

Let me kickflip that pussy, girl.

I'm #thankful for girls with big asses, especially ones that wear yoga pants.

If you've suffered an injury to your neck, your back, your pussy or your crack and want compensation, call the law offices of @dvstin_ now.

Outside of my immediate family, I'm pretty sure I can count the number of people who seem to actually care about me on one hand.

"Oh Comely" by Neutral Milk Hotel is the most hauntingly beautiful / depressing song ever. I love Jeff Mangum's voice.

What ever became of our friend Rich Boy? He threw some D's on our collective bitches and then, just like that, he was gone. Miss you, dude.

@rockwell_girl Do you think proper grammar is a Jewish invention or do you just not understand it very well?

@rockwell_girl You know that evolution isn't just "something I read", right?

I'm going to turn it to Fox News to see how Obama caused all of this. #Watertown

Rose are red. Violets are blue. I'll eat ya pussy. Coo coo cachoo.

@theerincalipari Do you think your dad will #abort his current game plan?

Being an adult really just bums me out more than anything.