#If #your #Instagram #captions #look #like #this #you #are #doing #it #wrong.

"Social Media Guru" is a strong contender for dumbest job title in Earth's history.

@gamesmeier. Jimmy, if you don’t write a D&D book you die, I WILL KILL YOU. Your imagination and humor are exceptional. Harness it. Create.

I should moderate a debate. I'd have a little water gun and if the nominees went over time I'd just start squirting them in the face.

3:39 "In For the Kill" by La Roux where she's all WOOOOooHoooOOOOOOOHOOOOOoooHooOoOOOooOOoooooooO! I like that part.

@casey_sunshine It's so fucking bad it hurts. And it'll sell 2 billion copies. Her and James Cameron should team up to make GAVATARBAGE.

Just in time for the deadline, submitted my 2013 @chargers Internship Application. Fingers crossed. #BoltUp

Go Padres! @ Petco Park  http://instagram.com/p/X8vFXSJrml/ 

Thanks to The West Wing (read: @casey_sunshine), I now find myself yelling “WHAT’S NEXT!?!?” all the time while I’m at work.

@rob_sheridan Saw this via Reddit, I think you’ll dig it. Photographer stitches together miscellaneous buildings..:  http://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/19kwyx/photographer_stitches_together_miscellaneous/ …

@joelprice How much money did the bank have?

@casey_sunshine. Casey and I are constantly trying to understand one another. We disagree a lot. But it’s all love. The sister I never had.

@DailaiLama. I don’t feel like I can talk to you. Please forgive even this meager text message. I’m sorry. #namaste #isthatright

@norskov75 Jesper was the drummer from @modwheelmood and @westindiangirl when I met him. Really sharp musician. Could play drums for ANYONE.

Taking a little break now. Drinking some whiskey. Might come back later tonight. If not tonight, then tomorrow. This is fucking interesting.

Hahahahaha! Next is my drunk Twitter. @dylanwasdrunk. Hey dude, chill the fuck out, you’re insane.

@mingandping. This might be the most FUN live show I’ve ever seen. So much happiness on stage. Never change, guys.

@puffins. Went to grade school with Sophie. I’m pissed because now she’s like painfully gorgeous and a tech junkie and I MISSED MY SHOT!!!!

Okay, the drinking has begun. I will proceed when I have a healthy buzz going.

Just watched @rulajebreal on Bill Maher. I'd definitely marry her.