#If #your #Instagram #captions #look #like #this #you #are #doing #it #wrong.

3:39 "In For the Kill" by La Roux where she's all WOOOOooHoooOOOOOOOHOOOOOoooHooOoOOOooOOoooooooO! I like that part.

Just in time for the deadline, submitted my 2013 @chargers Internship Application. Fingers crossed. #BoltUp

Thanks to The West Wing (read: @casey_sunshine), I now find myself yelling “WHAT’S NEXT!?!?” all the time while I’m at work.

@rob_sheridan Saw this via Reddit, I think you’ll dig it. Photographer stitches together miscellaneous buildings..:  http://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/19kwyx/photographer_stitches_together_miscellaneous/ …

"Social Media Guru" is a strong contender for dumbest job title in Earth's history.

@joelprice How much money did the bank have?

@casey_sunshine. Casey and I are constantly trying to understand one another. We disagree a lot. But it’s all love. The sister I never had.

@DailaiLama. I don’t feel like I can talk to you. Please forgive even this meager text message. I’m sorry. #namaste #isthatright

@gamesmeier. Jimmy, if you don’t write a D&D book you die, I WILL KILL YOU. Your imagination and humor are exceptional. Harness it. Create.

Taking a little break now. Drinking some whiskey. Might come back later tonight. If not tonight, then tomorrow. This is fucking interesting.

Hahahahaha! Next is my drunk Twitter. @dylanwasdrunk. Hey dude, chill the fuck out, you’re insane.

@puffins. Went to grade school with Sophie. I’m pissed because now she’s like painfully gorgeous and a tech junkie and I MISSED MY SHOT!!!!

How NOT to do a tech keynote. Or any keynote for that matter. @puffins check this out if you haven't already.  http://mobile.theverge.com/2013/1/8/3850056/qualcomms-insane-ces-2013-keynote-pictures-tweets …

@puffins Evil. Genius.

@barackobama Mr. President, I support you and your campaign, but this is fucking stupid.

I should moderate a debate. I'd have a little water gun and if the nominees went over time I'd just start squirting them in the face.

I'm staying at the penthouse suite of the Caesars Palace if you need me. And by that I mean the 12th floor of the shitty motel next to it.

NOBODY ASKED FOR A NAPOLEON DYNAMITE TELEVISION SERIES.

"Hey man send me some music. Something that sounds like Ratatat." Um, nothing sounds like Ratatat. That's why they're fucking awesome.