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I changed my facebook status to "widowed" just to let any ghosts know that I'm DTF
Turn around, bright eyes. *I give you the finger*
You think things are bad now? Wait until we see the material written by the kids who grew up loving Family Guy.
When I was a film critic at the New York Times I ended every review with "But I never directed a movie and this guy did, so what do I know?"
Baz Luhrmann's making Great Gatsby in 3D, because those shirts are the most beautiful Daisy had ever seen FLYING INTO HER FACE!
I wish I had a cat. It's not the same singing "Lady in Red" to a pile of cushions.
I didn't watch Mitt's concession. He just sang "Daisy" I assume.
The Rothko prints in the doctor waiting room are less reassuring when you know he overdosed on antidepressants and sliced open his wrists
Hi 900 people I just followed. Thank you for not being Indonesian teenagers. If I start getting spam messages again, you're all fired.
I like my password security like I like my men. Weak, easily compromised and with more than 8 digits.
I pretend therapy is like a talk show and my therapist has a really hard time booking guests. I'm a " friend of the show."
I know who Banksy really is. It's UN Secretary Ban Ki-Moon. If you think about it, it's obvious.
I thought maybe I should put more effort into getting laid, then I remembered it was both Movember & NaNoWriMo and my body auto-castrated
Pinter. Pinterer. Pinterest.
Can I make a kickstarter to buy a gun?
I woke up early to see what Santa Flag left in my Flag Stocking. Surprise! It was flags. #todayisflagday