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Turn around, bright eyes. *I give you the finger*
I changed my facebook status to "widowed" just to let any ghosts know that I'm DTF
You think things are bad now? Wait until we see the material written by the kids who grew up loving Family Guy.
When I was a film critic at the New York Times I ended every review with "But I never directed a movie and this guy did, so what do I know?"
Baz Luhrmann's making Great Gatsby in 3D, because those shirts are the most beautiful Daisy had ever seen FLYING INTO HER FACE!
I wish I had a cat. It's not the same singing "Lady in Red" to a pile of cushions.
I didn't watch Mitt's concession. He just sang "Daisy" I assume.
When I figure out which comedians are dating from overlapping anecdotes on unrelated podcasts I feel like Hercule Goddamned Poirot
The Rothko prints in the doctor waiting room are less reassuring when you know he overdosed on antidepressants and sliced open his wrists
Hi 900 people I just followed. Thank you for not being Indonesian teenagers. If I start getting spam messages again, you're all fired.
I pretend therapy is like a talk show and my therapist has a really hard time booking guests. I'm a " friend of the show."
I like my password security like I like my men. Weak, easily compromised and with more than 8 digits.
Kickstarter: Beyonce becomes a werewolf: Beyowolf
People collecting the World Cup 2014 Panini Sticker Album seem to lead richer, fuller, more active lives than the rest of us.
illustration & comedy jerk of 'MAD MEN: The Illustrated World' (a book) & app madmenyourself. Next book - Fall 2015 (no title yet so assume 'Infinite Jest II')