Stroking your pet's fur backwards reverses time.

My brother just posted "Houston, We have a problem..." on my timeline. That's not okay, is it?

It's year 11 prom so how about you settle the hell down, wear a knee length crepe number and try to avoid all that cheap taffeta.

#FF @immerzzz @killjoy_zoe @hannahbolton_ Just because!

I want you to properly look up irony, because it doesn't mean what you think it means.

The new series of Skins looks... awful.

#FF @immerzzz und @hannahbolton_ Because nice people are nice to follow (in the least creepy way possible)

@immerzzz You're so crazay, I've had to add another 'a' to accommodate.

But seriously, if you ALL hate being the first person to send a text, how are you all communicating?

Nothing new will ever happen.

Sometimes I think it might be worth putting in 12-15 years of medical research just to be able to say: 'Get the hell out of my O.R'

'The Many Suits of Mr. Styles'

Wish I could eat this apple without it feeling as if all my teeth are going to fall out... huh.

Hold on a second... Matthew Perry? pic.twitter.com/NLVw1qK4wG

Just search Willem Dafoe into Netflix and leave me be.

@imranhajat playaaaaaaah!

@imranhajat He's suspiciously happy for someone explaining to the world how none of us really exist.

Take a shark, splice it with any other animal under the sun. I will buy the movie.

Leonardo Da Vinci would have freaking loved Spirograph.

I don't care how Derren Brown does it.