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  • e_Rodriguez_
      eRod @e_Rodriguez_

    Her: Your creepy, you sleep with your eyes open.

    Me: I'm creepy? You stare at people when they're fuckin' sleeping.

    • 591
    • FAVS
    VonBrutal________Gina_RochelleWistfulSeducer____MargotRegina_she_said_what_kelseysocrazyIlovelamp1979OkNowRun
    • 113
    • RETWEETS
    ChristinaUSMCMyHairyLife______ChonMostaohanlon_joeim_not_smug______Kiddie_inkStefania0408AMarie024
    Carmel_ColemanJazzzzzminalemmywinkler______
  • e_Rodriguez_
      eRod @e_Rodriguez_

    Getting a comment deleted on Facebook followed by a text calling you an asshole is like getting a Tweet of the Day on Twitter in my book.

    • 387
    • FAVS
    ivigueriMikosnycVonBrutal________Gina_RochelleReDHeaDeDTaRT____WistfulSeducer____ocourtneynoSassyMcMelons
    • 100
    • RETWEETS
    WistfulSeducer____PastelPoetryJackieluvsUKLitlMonsterZackthatUPSdudeTRiddle86Tortilla_NaziR15S5
    mlinhartkarencreets______
  • e_Rodriguez_
      eRod @e_Rodriguez_

    Having more people following you on Twitter then the friends you have on Facebook means a lot more people you don't know, know the REAL you.

    • 390
    • FAVS
    VonBrutal________Gina_RochelleWistfulSeducer____MyHairyLife______The_DorkstermooyainiChonMosta_correctomundo
    • 76
    • RETWEETS
    Gina_RochelleChonMostaocourtneynotwo1ohhbabydollj_beer24Soo_ScandaloussBashfullsmileSpenxerDallas
    ocourtneynoOshungurl_________
  • e_Rodriguez_
      eRod @e_Rodriguez_

    Being Latino, straight, 31yo & never been married & no kids pretty much puts me in mythical creature category right next to the Chupacabra.

    • 357
    • FAVS
    iMikosnycEnClaveDSolDr0p0fGoldenSun__ThirosThirosMothpeteVonBrutal________Gina_RochelleReDHeaDeDTaRT____
    • 91
    • RETWEETS
    Gina_RochelleQbanita721WistfulSeducer____yupsandyitsTheWiseJaneyMyHairyLife______Gioq02dick_ish
    Litra_In_Denial__MoCannoli________
  • e_Rodriguez_
      eRod @e_Rodriguez_

    Couples who share a Facebook are

    A)Weirdo's who wear matching outfits
    B)Psycho's who check each others phones
    C)Idiots who belong together

    • 298
    • FAVS
    LaFuzzyNoirVonBrutal________Gina_RochelleWistfulSeducer____ocourtneynoSassyMcMelonsoye_bubbly_hippyhoppin
    • 88
    • RETWEETS
    ocourtneynocaylacasterladamataGioq02CuteassKutti______hippyhoppindick_ishdeblits3
    chrisanna4real
  • e_Rodriguez_
      eRod @e_Rodriguez_

    I wish mirrors and pictures would get together already and agree on what I really look like.

    • 261
    • FAVS
    iMikosnycDr0p0fGoldenSun__Gina_RochelleWistfulSeducer____ocourtneynoSassyMcMelonstwo1ohhbabydollim_not_smug______
    • 98
    • RETWEETS
    Gina_Rochelledeblits3two1ohhbabydollwavewasherFavstar250mycrazyblueyesvenomhearts______QuinnAlly
    KaptainKoRnieTogsbabbleUGotMeRight
  • e_Rodriguez_
      eRod @e_Rodriguez_

    How can women say men are insensitive, when all we want to know how you feel on the inside.

    We're all about your warm slippery feelings.

    • 270
    • FAVS
    Gina_RochelleocourtneynoSassyMcMelonsadaminkk__________griffinwestonehard94two1ohhbabydollim_not_smug______
    • 60
    • RETWEETS
    adaminkk__________dick_ishtwo1ohhbabydollAdriana_geraci____porkpuffs________ghfixDaHargMoodyMwaniki
    JackCojiSan______
  • e_Rodriguez_
      eRod @e_Rodriguez_

    Being 30 I don't lie about my age.
    When asked How old are you? I say I turned 29 a year & half ago



    Not my fault no one fuckin' likes Math

    • 290
    • FAVS
    iMikosnycThirosThirosGina_RochelleWistfulSeducer____ocourtneynoSassyMcMelonsgriffinwestonkaitmeoww________
    • 32
    • RETWEETS
    Gina_Rochelledick_ishSassyChantelledeblits3two1ohhbabydollGorrdanoNottaBigDealTheDanielleRock
  • e_Rodriguez_
      eRod @e_Rodriguez_

    If you don't have a memory of yourself doing something dumb that makes you cringe every time you think of it, then be prepared it's coming.

    • 242
    • FAVS
    Dr0p0fGoldenSun__Gina_RochelleKali_MuraQbanita721WistfulSeducer____HelloJlynnocourtneynoSassyMcMelons
    • 75
    • RETWEETS
    RtRuweeWistfulSeducer____ocourtneynojordan_leigh27dick_ishSassyChantelledeblits3two1ohhbabydoll
    tweetlbeee________AliMir_
  • e_Rodriguez_
      eRod @e_Rodriguez_

    If you wear sunglasses indoors or at night your either:

    A) Blind
    B) A Douchebag
    C) A Douchebag
    D) Cory Hart and A Douchebag

    • 246
    • FAVS
    TwaiDizzleGina_RochelleWistfulSeducer____ocourtneynoSassyMcMelonsDewalddeBPortRoosterim_not_smug______
    • 56
    • RETWEETS
    YaGirlVeTwaiDizzleWarbreedLassetriple777elevenGina_RochelleDewalddeBskeptical_jessangrywowplayer
  • e_Rodriguez_
      eRod @e_Rodriguez_

    I bet people who still buy porn at the store also write a check to pay for it, and then ride away in their horse carriage.

    • 243
    • FAVS
    Gina_RochelleWistfulSeducer____ocourtneynoSassyMcMelonstwo1ohhbabydollim_not_smug______MrToletonwavewasher
    • 55
    • RETWEETS
    polorizetwo1ohhbabydollCoreyLakeBoeLeahysampsonuthomascandymoon_xxxMJKluvrToolPackinMama
    Hey_Yo_Mikey______AndrewR31
  • e_Rodriguez_
      eRod @e_Rodriguez_

    When she said "I like to use Carmax on my lips."

    My brain said "it's Carmex"

    My penis said "shhh, she's hot"

    My mouth said "me too"

    • 209
    • FAVS
    Gina_RochelleocourtneynoSassyMcMelonsHotindallasbrian_sikoratwo1ohhbabydollSultani_Sailsjegheterbella
    • 51
    • RETWEETS
    Hotindallasbrian_sikoratwo1ohhbabydollim_not_smug______Adriana_geraci____melrivelwiiildflowerChemBtwnUs________
    JackCojiSan______
  • e_Rodriguez_
      eRod @e_Rodriguez_

    There needs to be an app where you shake your phone & say "You fucking piece of shit" and it actual makes it run faster & better.

    • 196
    • FAVS
    Gina_RochelleWistfulSeducer____ocourtneynoSassyMcMelonsim_not_smug______MrToletonwavewasheriTomFoolery
    • 58
    • RETWEETS
    lunasgarden_GorrdanoAmiigatBornHustlerLLCChemBtwnUs________fauxyouelhammer23australia1917
  • e_Rodriguez_
      eRod @e_Rodriguez_

    I'm starting a Mariachi Aerosmith Cover band and calling it Los Cool-Aeros and doing songs like 'Walk This Guey' & 'Juanita's Got a Gun'.

    • 196
    • FAVS
    Gina_RochelleChonMostaocourtneynoSassyMcMelonseliwldmntwo1ohhbabydollSouldrinker102chaoticfairy
    • 55
    • RETWEETS
    ChonMostaangrywowplayertwo1ohhbabydollFan4Life69PortRoosterAcid_Macim_not_smug______henry_iblis
    kervinf__________
  • e_Rodriguez_
      eRod @e_Rodriguez_

    There's a fine line between being rude and being honest that I usually tend to zigzag across.

    • 200
    • FAVS
    Gina_RochelleWistfulSeducer____ocourtneynoim_not_smug______MrToletonCountryRoadEastwavewasheriTomFoolery
    • 44
    • RETWEETS
    toujoursingridstacibonbonGorrdanowavewasherkyletafartsL_Sparr____AKATripleKarlaPau_Ag
    _Shizzle
  • e_Rodriguez_
      eRod @e_Rodriguez_

    You can take back all the I love you's and the I miss you's and but you can never take back all the times my camera has seen you naked.

    • 188
    • FAVS
    Gina_RochelleWistfulSeducer____naptwnbound__ocourtneynotwo1ohhbabydollim_not_smug______CountryRoadEastiTomFoolery
    • 48
    • RETWEETS
    ocourtneynotwo1ohhbabydollkyletafartschicagowalesjasonlight73Dnl_Mirrorboyitskarennnshellyspivey
  • e_Rodriguez_
      eRod @e_Rodriguez_

    Apparently its frowned upon to "make it rain" while contributing to the collection plate at this Catholic Church. Like my money ain't green.

    • 173
    • FAVS
    Gina_Rochelleocourtneynotwo1ohhbabydollim_not_smug______iTomFooleryShaunRightNowyoulaughatmemadmaxrerisen
    • 58
    • RETWEETS
    two1ohhbabydollkyletafartsmrschaotickaro1039____ChemBtwnUs________DamselNTheDarkPAT_E_ROCKKimmiepolitan
    derekblackmonGetbentLAAsianOtherWhite
  • e_Rodriguez_
      eRod @e_Rodriguez_

    Her: Stop putting what I say on Twitter

    Me: Ok I'll stop

    Her: Seriously don't

    Me: I won't

    Her: Good!

    (What? She's not even on Twitter)

    • 199
    • FAVS
    Gina_RochelleWistfulSeducer____ocourtneynotwo1ohhbabydollim_not_smug______iTomFooleryShaunRightNowyoulaughatme
    • 28
    • RETWEETS
    9punchingjudyslunasgarden_GorrdanoAllThingsCLEVEMrFuzzyLipSweetSierra84SgtBlueEyesGideonJagged
    Saucy_Mom________
  • e_Rodriguez_
      eRod @e_Rodriguez_

    One of my biggest fears is finding out that the person I just married was the smelly kid in class or the paste eater.

    • 177
    • FAVS
    Gina_Rochelleocourtneynoim_not_smug______SouthrnDelovely__iTomFooleryyoulaughatmethereverendcinkAndLive2Love
    • 36
    • RETWEETS
    BlondieGurlnTxSIPgirl_LakeOconeeBldr____JesTurtle________Litra_In_Denial__mackattack0108CrystalMoonableGinlicker
    calvoquinnMyLongBalls
  • e_Rodriguez_
      eRod @e_Rodriguez_

    I drank so much Tequila last night that after a blowjob my girl asked me for a lime & salt.

    • 188
    • FAVS
    Gina_RochelleWistfulSeducer____ChonMostaocourtneynoim_not_smug______iTomFooleryShaunRightNowyoulaughatme
    • 25
    • RETWEETS
    BIG_SpeechAndLive2LoveSplit630Free65DiaperSlingerJesatronicMy_Ego_AlteredJesTurtle________
    dingman35________
@e_Rodriguez_

@e_Rodriguez_

The older I get the more cantankerously awesome I get. Instagam: e_Rodriguez_