Once you've hit grandma with pepper spray, you've lost. The rest of your position is null.

@mcfly420 Kidneys should fit in the glove box. Hearts, center console. #organmoving

.@reelectstockman One of those great Texas jobs waiting tables for $2.13/hr?

@nomdeb There's less dirt and muck with monster trucks :)

@mcfly420 The kitchen is for baking and 'baking'. #highholidays

@mcfly420 I did some pigeon pose yesterday. Cracked those hips open like a mfer. #yoga

@caissie And skeletons scoff at dangers of "4 hour erection". #permanentboneser @sarahthyre

@caissie @sarahthyre Those ol' guys wouldn't even need Viagra any more.

@theyearofelan I think he makes a compelling argument. 1/2 jug, 1/2 loaf, friendly companion 'with benefits'. #TeamOmar

@angryblacklady Brawndo's got the electrolytes that ovaries crave!

@nomdeb This is terrible news. I just knew it too!

@nomdeb Well, watching someone else under geese when they are on a "strafing run" might be funnier.

@kathleenparker @logandobson #Komen is going to learn that some choices not reversible.

@xchrismcguire Ahead of the trend #americanhipster

@every6thday @logandobson @baycityball @sfbleachergirl Sabes is really desperate for a Sons of Anarchy cameo.