Congrats @eddiev5! @chrisanna4real picked your tweet as Tweet of the Day: http://t.co/7KLWjYdR

I think it's funny when I say stuff about a particular place or business & then use the word penis too & then they RT it to 1000s of people.

A fitting last tweet from a great driver: RT @danwheldon Green!!!!

So, if I invite you all to my Den of Sin Compound how many of you would actually drink the Kool-aid?

I'm not full of shit, but I AM full of pee. brb.

What do you call identical boobs?


Identitties

I shave vicodin's over my pasta like its parmesan cheese.

Paul McCartney is apparently upset...

His new wife is already spending twice as much on shoes as the last one :/

Just sang along with "Pour Some Sugar On Me" without missing a word. I fucking RULE!!**





*No life

"daddy you have awful bags under your eyes" (me) no shit how bout you stop the fever dreams and let me sleep you lil bitch

FF @muddyspoon @barrielouise @partytimesglas @laddy_girl @eddiev5 @babyblueizze @amby_l_t @mudfishmatt @mrproducer2 @neighbor_bob @wrexxxx

Can't take it anymore. Unfollowing myself.

#iphone alarm starts the day, shower listening to my #ipad2, work all day on #macbook listening to #iTunes then home for #appletv #stevejobs

New Apple logo? http://t.co/jari8wvy

6500 tweets. 6500 ways to prove to no one in particular that I fail at DM sex and I'm only half funny.

Can you jailbreak a dead man?

How did it happen??.... if you read this tweet, and say it in the right voice, you're probably a pest... #PestsRule #SteveJobs

And I'm calling it a day. #RIP man I never met, yet relied on every day.

Alcoholism is not a choice, it's a lifestyle....choice.

@eddiev5, 5 Favs! Your tweet has been favorited by 5 people. http://t.co/NQMtLwcr