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Osama Bin Laden: 5284 Kills, 1 Death. Fucking Camper
You could say I'm a post-modern vegetarian. I eat meat ironically.
There are no skeletons in my closet. Just a black latex dildo suit.
No, I don't like annoying people. I like annoying arrogant fuckers like you.
Twitter's been mentioned on TV. WE'RE FAMOUS, PEOPLE.
WHERE IS YOUR ONE DIRECTION NOW MOTHERFUCKERS?
I don't understand why anyone would watch a program about fat people. They're fat. We get it. I don't need to see someone lifted by a crane.
They found...THE CLITORIS. I used to treat it like a roundabout. I didn't like to bring it up, I though it may have been a boating accident.
Laxative adverts: why not just come out and say it? "These help you shit."
Why is local combat training not working on Black Ops 2? It hasn't for weeks.
Chinese Mafia is watching you.
I'm a total fucking geek.
You'd better watch out, you'd better not cry, you'd better not tense, I'm tellin' you why, Gary Glitter's comin' to town.
I don't mean to come across as a cynical moron, but I am, so that's how it comes across.
We've come for your liver.
Only an idiot would steal this tweet.
I have just heard an R&B version of Imagine. Everyone just go and kill yourselves. It's over. They've won.
Carbon Fiber Fiend and winner of World's Most Wishful Thinker Award since 1978.