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If there's a bro in your workshop, a good prank would be to write "Homoerotic?" a lot on his stories.
Most poetry reviews could be rephrased as "I don't even like poetry."
FYI, "...said no one ever" jokes are incompatible with the many-worlds interpretation of quantum mechanics
If you ask, "Have I gone over?" at a poetry reading, you've gone over. This is more reliable than clocks.
Usage tip: Never say "I'm sick of pizza." Write a blog post called "The Death of the Pizza."
One cool thing about being a poet is that people walk right up to you and tell you all poetry sucks.
It takes a special kind of mediocrity to be offensive and boring at the same time.
Man, what is up with the "mass murderers will find a way" argument. Go ahead and let them try to kill 30 people at once with frying pans.
Nice job, Shakespeare, your plays are FULL of cliches.
Why stop at two spaces after a period? Tab over a few times.
All poetry is experimental ... the experiment is, I wonder if I can trick anyone into reading this ill-formed mumbo-jumbo ...
Write what you know, i.e., nothing.
It's not original to hate the poetry in The New Yorker, but it is good and right.
I saw a church sign that said:
I see now it's a sentence but at first I thought it was just 3 abstract nouns.
J: "Why do little girls love to scream so much?" Me: "Because they're oppressed"
New euphemism for masturbation: "launch party"
"Let's imagine a world without zero-dimensional objects." "Nah, that would be pointless."
Hey genre authors, write some poems and then maybe I'll be impressed by how much nobody cares.
Some notes on Taipei by @tao_lin http://thefrenchexit.blogspot.com/2013/08/some-notes-on-tao-lins-taipei.html …
Poet and rational aesthete. I write about search engines, perfume, and other dangerous ideas. Author of The Self Unstable and The French Exit.