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If there's a bro in your workshop, a good prank would be to write "Homoerotic?" a lot on his stories.
Coming close to take his pulse, I smelled alcohol. His tear-stained cheek shone. I placed a thumb on his wrist. His hand was cold.
Tell all your favorite living poets right now that they are your favorite living poets
Most poetry reviews could be rephrased as "I don't even like poetry."
OMG. I will never shit-talk @newyorker again. Thank you @tejucole http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/books/2013/12/best-books-of-2013-part-2.html …
"Creative writing" is such an infantalizing term. What if we called art "creative painting"
FYI, "...said no one ever" jokes are incompatible with the many-worlds interpretation of quantum mechanics
I accidentally did a mean thing. A student asked me how to break into the [poetry] "industry" and I laughed.
Usage tip: Never say "I'm sick of pizza." Write a blog post called "The Death of the Pizza."
If you ask, "Have I gone over?" at a poetry reading, you've gone over. This is more reliable than clocks.
Bad poetry is so much better than mediocre poetry.
"Adapt or die!" (adapts) ... (dies anyway)
My dream is to divide everyone into 2 teams: Leave Me Alone & Pay Attention to Me
7 Poets Even Poetry Haters Will Like: Nirvana, Cars, Cheese, Music, Alcohol, Dancing, Sex.
One cool thing about being a poet is that people walk right up to you and tell you all poetry sucks.
It took Dunkin Donuts this long to think of donut-flavored coffee? They do two things.
It's so cute when the super-rich fetishize simplicity.
Poetry! The more people who hate it, the better!
Fitzgerald said using an exclamation point is like laughing at your own joke, but I like people who laugh at their own jokes.
Poet and rational aesthete. I write about search engines, perfume, and other dangerous ideas. Author of The Self Unstable and The French Exit.