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  • egg_dog
      Wet Dog Sound @egg_dog

    Gift @egg_dog Favstar Pro to unlock their best tweet!Gift them Pro!

    • 9,700
    • LIKES
    TrinaRose84kaitlin_nielsenchaseokunzjematyasheyitswhitleykaileehope_dillonostChristianShanks
    • 6,515
    • RETWEETS
    viacourtneymackgordNate_Burnett13han_herberthayden_lindsaymiapapaya_kennie_hawkajc_nava
    earfdaeHome_HalfwayPaperWashLeeMifsudYasmeenMSjonnysunMrSpoonicorn
  • egg_dog
      Wet Dog Sound @egg_dog

    kids have you applied the minty paste to the exposed part of your skeleton? yes? well now it is time to lie down in a dark room for hours

    • 6,375
    • LIKES
    dmathiasbsheaaheathhvxlkcalebteachesmncorbisieroMissSpookySpookjohn_kirbyeastoforion
    • 3,985
    • RETWEETS
    reececlews_PierreLucRyanJacobBlakeNickGriffinncornxnutJ_IsForCeylanJinx0_ClaireLarsson
    Mike_Bianchi
  • egg_dog
      Wet Dog Sound @egg_dog

    Remember those door stop things from when you were a kid? Well here's what they look like in SLO-MO. #epic pic.twitter.com/M8KFIErpmd

    • 6,436
    • LIKES
    MagsShopsverriermaxBlueEyedChickcxNatBCo__annali___Loah_MartinezchrisgluckmanG01d3n
    • 3,152
    • RETWEETS
    G01d3nsheality_ashleymtaylor16KandyElmoitsmeagEllieDaecheThe_Triple_Cyogurtdad
  • egg_dog
      Wet Dog Sound @egg_dog

    UK and US word differences

    UK | US
    Crisps | Guns
    Chips | Guns
    Nappy | Gun
    Biscuit | Gun
    Pavement | Floor Gun
    Lollypop | Gun
    Gun | Two Guns

    • 5,511
    • LIKES
    jakefields32hmeyer005psydeuxrahmat_yudhajackgreco_Polly_howeglitternotgunsjamo_dd
    • 3,443
    • RETWEETS
    Mattyp2345heylizastacyhmeyer005mcmxallyjocabpspsydeuxFanGirlRB94562_
  • egg_dog
      Wet Dog Sound @egg_dog

    “google d-dildoes…” i whisper to siri “GOOGLIN BIG OL DILDOES!!” screams the phone, smashing windows in a 9mile radius & flipping over cars

    • 5,760
    • LIKES
    casinoooooonotmeganfieldssewer_trashpartyhatjonesm0mentringlucashoalADellierobson_xknowthyphone
    • 2,698
    • RETWEETS
    sewer_trashm0mentringyiffwitchGianiactrlmattymarsinmayxgriffin420xMattokah
    sevendeadlywins__YasmeenMSMrSpoonicornloveletterbombsSimon_BarrettTurdIdiot________fontiagoweird_hugs________Breterbies__
  • egg_dog
      Wet Dog Sound @egg_dog

    thrown out of cop school for writing 'whos that pokemon' next to all the chalk outlines

    • 3,916
    • LIKES
    blosser357JamieFletch2206ZiladEmondjwhDesmondt48dPaddoCrackrprincekilIerdanherbert4_dan
    • 2,426
    • RETWEETS
    notreallyandy27cpl_boltonMorbidFriesmyxiupandongvvooTheRealMisterGwiggly_ghostdiezelinka
    sunfiltershutupheavDamnItsTrillProfBoomHatchdavedittell
  • egg_dog
      Wet Dog Sound @egg_dog

    supermarketes become so much more terrifying if you find a product with the word ‘instant’ and replaec it with ‘sudden’

    • 3,844
    • LIKES
    nickgrichardsonROCK615SALTSmoothwallUSAnivlaGnoraAjpic92metcalflovesyouelevinlemonsrainbowbrute
    • 2,107
    • RETWEETS
    siayannemmadashleighblandwhiteguysydneyjanexoATuck10griffen_angellawltreinBakedBens
    _Jim_FeardraculabagAceMakesWordsthefurlinator
  • egg_dog
      Wet Dog Sound @egg_dog

    imagine a reverse pizza. the missing hole on the table where the pizza is meant to be. everything else is pizza. the solar system. the air.

    • 3,271
    • LIKES
    PaperPlanes5rachelle_mandikGromravalexismagnessevvyhofmeisterkadyngriffithsElyssa_Medina08AccioBae
    • 2,323
    • RETWEETS
    williamcolaco1MrMooGertpistolwistolBCurtsyReeceCCCKayla__BeeAcetorterra1meltthefuckdown
    Benesh_gavinpivottKarate_Horse
  • egg_dog
      Wet Dog Sound @egg_dog

    sir this ouija board is broken, it keeps spellin stuff like 'wah hoo!' and 'lets a-go!' "hmm it looks like youve bought a luigi board, pal"

    • 2,240
    • LIKES
    Serious_OffRoadAHeebnerkyleveReannLimes_25Mike_Bianchitinyautomaticbrooke_murrayyEFR0519
    • 1,953
    • RETWEETS
    kyleveZacharyLucasrosynawookberryapplebeesucksindiewirtdonngwooshesoughtdeath
    Home_HalfwayAdamOfEarthrobfeealien_sushiakacrispyiRowlfSimon_BarrettMcSwtrvst
  • egg_dog
      Wet Dog Sound @egg_dog

    i really hate it when my housemates put the toilet roll on the wrong way pic.twitter.com/82iXp3ZjHa

    • 2,122
    • LIKES
    kylevedingbatwhirrmizunochiidavidreinismattiaskronbergJazimoookaseychoqSamirCMH
    • 1,188
    • RETWEETS
    saintmiawestmattiaskronbergmichaelsmunroeCoossttaaaakerocinecidamartinson__papa_irlcatqueen
  • egg_dog
      Wet Dog Sound @egg_dog

    *calls over air steward*
    can i get a pepsi and some plain nuts please
    *steward leans in*
    up here we just call them nuts, sir

    • 2,255
    • LIKES
    TylerFinkenTH4TSTHESPIRITgregawoodsdecestarkehealthkyleveheyitsmeCD_Cosmic_Owl
    • 937
    • RETWEETS
    BigSteve211kyleve_Cosmic_OwltiennamackenziecrybabyboiiLucazadeV3ceejayoramaKindBuddha
  • egg_dog
      Wet Dog Sound @egg_dog

    "siri i want 2 get up at 8 oclock"
    u've bought a potato clock
    "no siri the TIME 8 oclock"
    u've bought a tomato clock
    "si…"
    u bought 100 eggs

    • 2,014
    • LIKES
    dhritzkivtraviskyleveJuliannaGut13uitstabielEmanMuzzsbowman63hannahlaskey
    • 905
    • RETWEETS
    omgisthatkenzieWar_PillowDE4DPIXLhttpberniceDennisFogelmarkvangoghgaIDBwiddaDBAbbyPoprockz
    jonnysun
  • egg_dog
      Wet Dog Sound @egg_dog

    viagra is caps lock for ur dick

    • 1,498
    • LIKES
    Razkulill_giverDvnRobertsgrewevykthorjensenAdamHansardmichaelwhitneydtipson
    • 1,324
    • RETWEETS
    DvnRobertsPeterSosulskidtipsonSnigdha_RaischnydiddyeclecticlexiconKyleRancourtkenna_what
    SpencerLenoxsteeIbaIIrundinogorenice_mustard
  • egg_dog
      Wet Dog Sound @egg_dog

    Teacher: ok class bring your dioramas to the front of the class
    Me: [holding a bowl of diahorrea] oh no…

    • 2,090
    • LIKES
    _9danallie_cetruloSammy23DiRenzoVighrane01MeghaMehta12alifiaboharishanulEhaan_banerjee
    • 715
    • RETWEETS
    _9danvivek2aimsubhamjha7samishahzadhdHell_WisherayushrampantTonkeePonkeeNischay94
  • egg_dog
      Wet Dog Sound @egg_dog

    if u milk a cows shadow u get pepsi

    • 1,651
    • LIKES
    jackie_buckman4just2ClairifyCastroStuntin_drewblackYouPoopinannefran28karolina_wozmarch1994bieber
    • 914
    • RETWEETS
    Lele_Ashleyhutchdxwnmarch1994bieberTurntAfMariMasuta_BudoAshlonMckenzieyunggaylordTheyCallMeYDG
  • egg_dog
      Wet Dog Sound @egg_dog

    [death row]
    Guard: Any last words?
    Me: [smugly] photosynthesis.
    Guard: …
    Me: it sounded longer in my head.

    • 1,818
    • LIKES
    MegOB25Kleinjk99DavidxChavezsmozdiggityfuture_discoDanimal_5BethRiordanxsean_lundergan
    • 683
    • RETWEETS
    rwilliamsjr1998cogitoergobaconZakNunistojtgoblinSenseiChanningKuhlmanc7LisaLisa208mellyfishing
  • egg_dog
     
    Wet Dog Sound @egg_dog

    Okay FINE. I'm getting so much abuse I'm having to show the actual video of it pic.twitter.com/0R2Ov7dEVp

    • 1,355
    • LIKES
    Banished2BocaMiaSuth_Wankaego_misskstevensMogwaiSenpaiLotusCalorRaku_Tweetszombiepig91
    • 853
    • RETWEETS
    organic_trashMogwaiSenpaiRaku_TweetsmildmojoMatthewAutismTVMaximusatTwittasuperpaw_novaelise_because
  • egg_dog
      Wet Dog Sound @egg_dog

    “lets take this club to the next level!” the dj shouted. unfortunately the next level was a boss stage and most of us died

    • 1,144
    • LIKES
    donnifuddlemarkissyripleyahjessebradimirputinJediMasterJamspacific_amnesiajaycatsjensen
    • 900
    • RETWEETS
    DhartzyotoomanytoesMeatyMendozaspaghettingPearfalseHannah_DuncannjuegdeRydog57__
    AceMakesWordscholesteroIPajamaBen_PurpleDaemon__
  • egg_dog
      Wet Dog Sound @egg_dog

    rum and coke please
    "is pepsi ok?"
    …um its alright i guess
    "cool ill have to try it out"
    *bartender pours me a rum and coke*

    • 1,440
    • LIKES
    mergan_notnuthinAncientChaos7donnibillmcfuddlemarkmynameisblakushparks_
    • 543
    • RETWEETS
    MeatyMendozamynameisblakusKennethArthuRSandrewsho_DrFrimpongsufiathegreatThatRedHead54Mercabro_97
  • egg_dog
      Wet Dog Sound @egg_dog

    [sees a coffin]
    …that's the last thing I need

    • 1,340
    • LIKES
    hiimmattskylevetiennamackenziealliesailealhattttonearmedwampaAustralianSquidGDonnelly33
    • 588
    • RETWEETS
    Antoine1703IgnatiusUnderh2EmmaPeterzmatthewweiss34XFartInhaler69XJack_DetriceFlexicoPlex__naveeniium
@egg_dog

@egg_dog

its like my dad used to say, mail me the emails at eggdog@eggd.org

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