Popular Recent Faved By Given
Friends: 415
Followers: 126
Favs Given: 1,670
Favs Rec'd: 724
@el_pantera's (Chuck Monster) most faved Tweets...
el_pantera
I hate taking orders. I guess joining the Army to become a waiter was a bad move on my part.
@el_pantera
el_pantera
Screaming "You don't understand me at all!!" and storming out of the room is a lot harder than I imagined.

Maybe it's the heels.
@el_pantera
el_pantera
FYI: Do NOT mix the broken pill remnants you find at the bottom of your purse.

Also, just whose purse is this, anyway??
@el_pantera
15
CinderellaJoeyDolanitelondesmlb_matosMystique1975BeauBockImAwake2mrdtweetrbokJenSciFiRyan_Pleasegothscifigirlgl0bals0j0urnervanesdropdeadchris
el_pantera
I hope you used the bathroom already because I'm not pulling over to let you out of the trunk.

Plus untying all that rope.
@el_pantera
13
CinderellaJoeymlb_matosDolaniteMrBigFistsBeauBockJenSciFiSassynicdrewmongeRyan_PleasegothscifigirlSilkPillowdropdeadchrisMaDom
el_pantera
"Officer, does this look like a full gram to you or did I just get ripped off?" #instaticket
@el_pantera
13
DolaniteMugOfGasolineswitchbladephdmlb_matosBeauBockJenSciFiSassynicRyan_Pleasemire12gl0bals0j0urnerSilkPillowBeerhazeMaDom
el_pantera
I really should be sleeping right now, but...

I worked too hard reaching this state of inebriation to just waste it on unconsciousness.
@el_pantera
11
gl0bals0j0urnerMystique1975GotBacchusCapsaholicBeauBockJenSciFiSassynicRyan_PleaseTerrillificSilkPillowBeerhaze
el_pantera
Idle minds are Twitter's plaything.
@el_pantera
9
indecisiviouslyJenSciFiSassynicMeetingBoyomarsawolfgothscifigirlCroweJammire12SilkPillow
el_pantera
This job needs more blow.
@el_pantera
9
trixiebootsvinnieDolaniteCroweJamKnowShitJenSciFiSassynicRyan_PleaseSilkPillow
el_pantera
You'd think this ENORMOUS penis would give me a bigger ego. But, Lord knows, I'm humble.
@el_pantera
9
MugOfGasolineiamnotdiddymlb_matosBeauBockJenSciFiSassynicRyan_Pleasegl0bals0j0urnerSilkPillow
el_pantera
Damn these tears! Damn these masculine, testosterone-fueled tears!!

Great, now my makeup is running.
@el_pantera
9
Xytrexswitchbladephdmlb_matosMystique1975JenSciFiSassynicRyan_Pleasegl0bals0j0urnerSilkPillow
el_pantera
This prostate exam needs less spirit fingers.
@el_pantera
8
DolaniteDDDBUCaveMaster5000the_dzaIron_FistBDGarpvanesenricolimcaco
el_pantera
Haha, down to 66 followers!! For those of you that are still here it's safe to assume we weren't part of the rapture. Oh well.
@el_pantera
8
ImAwake2XytrexCapsaholicJenSciFidesirousgoddessSassynicRyan_Pleasegl0bals0j0urner
el_pantera
Well that's the last time I try to help you tie your shoelaces ungrateful guy in the next stall.
@el_pantera
7
dshafCapsaholicglitterpleaseCroweJamvanesMrsNutcase215twistedpfister
el_pantera
If I were a gynecologist I would totally say: "Well, let's pop the hood and see what we got."
@el_pantera
7
thejohnblogCroweJamvanesMrsNutcase215CinderellaJoeySilkPillowkambrock
el_pantera
It was worth every penny.

Related: You REALLY don't wanna know just what "It" was.
@el_pantera
7
gl0bals0j0urnerjohn_a_hughesBeauBockJenSciFiSassynicRyan_PleaseTerrillific
el_pantera
This stripper keeps checking her watch likes she's on the cock or something.
@el_pantera
7
CapsaholicMugOfGasolineBeauBockJenSciFiSassynicRyan_Pleasegl0bals0j0urner
el_pantera
What I lack in social graces I make up for in--SIT DOWN AND SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!
@el_pantera
7
PaulineTVlondesmlb_matosBeauBockJenSciFiSassynicRyan_Please
el_pantera
Man, this office is getting colder and colder. You think I could justify slicing open a co-worker for warmth?
@el_pantera
7
DolaniteMugOfGasolinemlb_matosBeauBockJenSciFiSassynicRyan_Please
el_pantera
FUCK YOU WORK! BURN IN HELL!! Actually, I kinda need this job. Sooo...same time tomorrow then?
@el_pantera
7
msmobleyMugOfGasolinemlb_matosBeauBockJenSciFiSassynicRyan_Please
el_pantera
Chafing is nature's way of telling me I need to start dating again.
@el_pantera
7
DolaniteMugOfGasolinemlb_matosBeauBockJenSciFiSassynicRyan_Please
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