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Weed, gay marriage, and black folks in white houses. I couldn't be happier.
Bruno Mars looks like if Salma Hayek was a lesbian.
Adele Nazim is actually the name of a Scientology Demi god.
The main thing I'm taking away from this Malaysia fiasco is that the ocean is filthy and maybe too big.
Anne Hathaway feels so left out right now
Do you think JK Rowling and JK Simmons gchat conversations are confusing because oh nevermind where's that PLANE??
That was actually Jared Leto's 2nd win. His first oscar was for his work as my fantasy boyfriend back in 7th grade.
Beyoncé pronounces surfboard like a Scottish robot.
Did you know that no matter how many times a radio station plays Timber, there is no evidence to suggest that song gets any less horrible?
Out of all the people I know who spell their name with an exclamation, I would say P!nk is in my top 5.
Time for my own personal after-party: scooping cat pee out of the litter box and trying not to fall asleep with my contacts in!
Harrison Ford is soooo sick of the Indiana Jones theme song.
I bet the physical Oscar itself costs more than the entire make-up budget for Dallas Buyers Club.
Just got a parking ticket. First one in months. Phew! Thought I was losing my ability to read street signs way way way wrong.
And to think, Bill Murray got this offer via fax
It's weird to think that Anna Kendrick and Kate Mara are two different people.
Stop hiding behind your sunglasses, Bono, and take a stand for something!
It's 90 degrees but it's technically still winter so bring me an ice cold chicken pot pie.
Might be going dark for a bit. None of these jerks in my doomsday cult brought an iPhone 5 charger.
Good luck getting delivery Ellen, Hollywood blvd is all blocked off
actress, comedian, writer, NYC / LA, Mary-Kate of Very Mary-Kate on http://collegehumor.com