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I have good people skulls. I mean kills. I mean skills. People skills. I'm good at skinning people. Sorry, job interviews make me nervous.
Bruno Mars looks like if Salma Hayek was a lesbian.
The Food Network just emancipated Paula Deen.
Adele Nazim is actually the name of a Scientology Demi god.
Yoga is hard. You have to turn your phone off and then you have to stretch. Now one of those is fine, but both? I'm only one person.
This is an outrageous, invasive and sexist (but ping me if they hack Jon Hamm's phone because I'm curious)
The main thing I'm taking away from this Malaysia fiasco is that the ocean is filthy and maybe too big.
Oh Peter Pan, I'm obsessed with your yoga pants.
Anne Hathaway feels so left out right now
Do you think JK Rowling and JK Simmons gchat conversations are confusing because oh nevermind where's that PLANE??
To all receipts that include 20% tip options, thank you for not making me math.
yo moon you do NOT photograph well
That was actually Jared Leto's 2nd win. His first oscar was for his work as my fantasy boyfriend back in 7th grade.
Beyoncé pronounces surfboard like a Scottish robot.
Did you know that no matter how many times a radio station plays Timber, there is no evidence to suggest that song gets any less horrible?
Out of all the people I know who spell their name with an exclamation, I would say P!nk is in my top 5.
Coconut water bottles. You sirens. You jiggle like there's more water inside you, but there's not. There never is.
Time for my own personal after-party: scooping cat pee out of the litter box and trying not to fall asleep with my contacts in!
Actor, writer, monster. Sometimes Very Mary-Kate.
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