ME TOO!! ITS LIKE WHEN YOUR DAD HELPED GET O.J. OFF!! RT @KimKardashian: WHAT!!??!! CASEY ANTHONY NOT GUILTY!!!! I'm speechless!!!

I feel bad for Kourtney Jong-Il and Khloe Jong-Il right now :(

Burger King's full name was Burger Luther King Jr.

Weird! Your iPhone auto-corrected 'giant black dicks' to 'Miami'. RT @KimKardashian: Just landed! Ready to take Miami all weekend!!!

#BestPickUpLines "I am not a member of the band Creed"

Well, Obama just lost the hate-filled Neanderthal vote

She sells seashells WHERE? By the seashore?? Pretty fucking horrible business plan IMHO.

I didn't realize Mad Men took place several decades ago until I saw the scene where Don Draper checks his Myspace account

Am I the only one who's worried that once Wikipedia goes black it'll never go back?

What's your favorite Toto song about a continent? Mine's probably 'Africa'.

Pretty sure the lead actress from 'Precious' has a twin sister who works at every Wendy's I've ever been to

If you could only bring 10 iPods to a desert island, which 38,000 albums would you put on them?

Can anyone recommend a good website where people I knew in high school post pics of their meals?

If I get to 40K followers by midnight I'll color my penis green w/ a Sharpie, insert the base of a daisy in the pee-hole & Instagram a pic

A vegan, a priest, & a rabbi walk into a bar. The vegan pretty much just blabs on & on about how he's a vegan for the next hour. The end.

I think you stole the baseline from 'Under Pressure'. RT @vanillaice: OMG! Casey Anthony verdict NOT GUILTY!! WOW!! What do U think???????

You stupid piece of shit. RT @ParisHilton: Saw a starving stray dog outside the restaurant. Made me so sad. So we ordered him a filet mignon

Sounds like SOMEbody got laid last night! RT @YokoOno: Imagine water coming down a dry riverbed.

It's 2012, not Adam and Steve

People who actually work for a living. RT @KhloeKardashian: Who's getting excited for the weekend????