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Jesus Christ, somebody on Breaking Bad needs to grow some hair.
I have to remember I am the toothfairy, and I must not fall asleep.
Uh oh. Serving my ex our divorce papers right after he watched "Inception" may have been cruel. Or brilliant.
I'm sorry, people who are not tweeting about the #debate. I can't read your shit right now.
Obama wasn't the one who wasn't reaching across the aisle, fucker! #Romney #Debate
I'm loving Nova's Finding Life Beyond Earth not only because I'm learning so much, but it put my wound up kids right to sleep. #NOVA
"Religious Freedom" rally at the Capitol today. If only Christians realized they already make up 90% of the country...
I am not even remotely excited about this win. The Artist. #Oscars
Angelina Jolie: GROSS. #Oscars
Damn, it feels good to be a gangster.
The Cowardly Lion is such a fucking baby.
Things I learned in kindergarten today: it is motherfucking hard to be five.
I hate people who want better education for their children but refuse to pay more taxes. Not all our taxes pay for abortions. Idiots.
The Matrix Revolutions is on TV. I'm really only in it for Monica Bellucci's tits though.
I'm really not all that bad. As long as we're just friends.