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I don't care who you are, I'll probably try to teach you how to twerk tonight
"Is my face more like a heart shape or an oval or what" is probably the only thing I need to know that I didn't learn in kindergarten
The more Notre Dame stuff I wear, the more likely we are to win, right? I'm pretty sure that's how sports work
I don't want to be considered a hero because I inspire people, I want to be one because I can fly and shoot lasers out of my eyes
My childhood was greatly affected by the fact that Uncle Jesse in Full House changed his last name mid-show and no one ever talked about it
I feel like football should feature puppies more. And breakdance battles. And less football. #puppiesforheisman
@saucetweed ahh yes pigskin, you must be a real fanatic of the old ball game #oristhatbaseball?
RT @sororityproblem On October Third he asked me what day it was. 'It's October Third.' mean girls celebration
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