How I'm spending my day babysitting http://t.co/7PneZS5E

My mom just asked me to go to roxy's with her. No, sorry I don't feel like smelling death today

Made my boring sneakers a little better :) http://t.co/Q89ozicb

At the risk of sounding like the obvious single girl I am, I could really go for some froyo right now.

Waking up first sucks

@nottjmiller have you ever driven with an actual cat in your lap? That shit is difficult!

Michaels is like crack

I'm a boss at cleaning my entire room in 5 minutes, feeling productive because of it, and then doing nothing all day. #ididnothingallday

Tate's death count goes up every episode. Is it bad to love a fictional murderer? #AHSFX

@suzannerose_ agreed. Those lower case letters are real dicks.

Anyone else agree that Jeff Goldblum and Conan O'Brien would make the best uncles ever?

"Ovaries before brovaries"

Yup, pretty sure I'd do anything for the Culkin brothers.