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ME: You have five seconds to finish that. 5, 4, 3- QUINN: Don't use counting right now! I love counting and you're ruining it with broccoli!
Maximum cute level unlocked: my boyfriend is talking in his sleep, and the cat is sitting on a pillow next to his face, meowing back at him.
I'm so sleepy I could sleep a whole elephant.
I get by just fine without my ADHD medication, as long as you don't count how sometimes I organize the DVDs with my jeans around my ankles.
You can tell the experienced city dwelling mother by how loud she barks DON'T TOUCH THAT when her child finds "a balloon" at the playground.
The man who did my pedicure told me my choice of pink nails was "too girly". I'm not one for gender roles but you, Sir, work at a nail shop.
They grow up a little every day. Quinn, to Isaiah, sincerely: "I'm sorry I said 'fuck your stupid-ass bitch face.'" Then they shook hands.
I would like it more if instead of just wearing lots of dark clothes and eyeliner, gothic teenagers dressed up as giant cathedrals.
My need to prove that he likes coconut grows steadily deeper & crazier. You liked that cookie? IT HAD COCONUT! You sleep ok? IT HAD COCONUT!
He turns toward me in bed and smiles. "Aw, you're so pretty in the dark. I MEAN, you're also pretty in the light! Always pretty! Shit!"
My personal trainer eyes me with concern. "You look nauseous," she observes. "Nauseated," I correct her. So obviously superior in every way.
As my heels slid across the slippery tiles, and my open bag of m&ms flew from my hand, I thought, "People on the Internet think I'm funny."
EVER NOTICE HOW SNAKES ONLY HAVE ONE BODY PART IT'S NECK THAT WAS GOOD COFFEE DO YOU NEED ANYTHING CALCULATED WHY ARE YOU COWERING
Our cat is an indoor cat. When she wants to show us affection, she brings us gifts of crumpled up Post-Its, which she personally murdered.
"Hey, Mama?" "Is this important? I'm kinda busy." "Yes, please come here!" "Why do bath farts smell so much worse than regular farts?"
At the hunt in the park, my kid is the one hollering, "What's the OBJECT OF THIS GAME?" while others grab eggs.
Best neon sign letter outage: IFFY LUBE
My son just asked for an afternoon snack. To be brought to him in *my* bed. "With a variety of options on a tray." We don't even own a tray.
Unsure whether that new top is a dress or a shirt? Take it from me. You don't want to be at work when you realize "shirt" was the answer.
Quinn: A kid in my class said that "sex" is a bad word. But it's not bad, right?
Isaiah: It's like "hell" -- only bad if you're a Christian.