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We are all just energy floating about the universe but you still need to use your turn signal motherfucker.
I am ashamed of who Netflix thinks I am.
"If you need me, I'll be over here wondering why my career's stalled out while dicking around on the internet." - Everyone
Sucks how Scientology made believing in aliens sound crazy.
Before this goes any further I want you to know I'm not naturally bald on my legs.
I always read "Sent from my iPad" as "Sent from my champagne-filled Lamborghini!"
Weird. Facebook just told me I'd reached my maximum number of Joshes.
The only thing that would make True Detective better is if it could reach out and choke me a little bit.
If I don't have eyelash extensions and nail art am I a man?
Funny how people who don't let you in on the freeway are the same way with their hearts.
"I THINK YOU ARE FUCKING INSANE and I share a lot of your traits." - the basic premise behind all holiday depression
Happy 5th of July: the day our founding fathers woke up hungover and could NOT remember what they meant by "all men" or "created equal."
Nelson Mandela died today & every person I pass in the streets of Los Angeles has a look in their eyes that says, "is this scarf too much?"
Matthew McConaughey is like thank god now I get to chill and make Magic Mike 2.
Whenever I see an Hasidic Jewish man I want to tickle him until reggae music comes out.
Maybe YOU'VE had too much coffee
Spiders would do a lot better if they were shaped and looked like kittens. But still had eight legs.
UCB, NBC, IFC, CC, MTV, Down with OPP. http://www.emilymayamills.com
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