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i literally spend 600% of my life exaggerating
my laptop screen is brighter than my future
keep your phone charger close and your laptop charger closer
I am currently tweeting from the back of a cop car
hey remember when you all changed your profile pictures for KONY too? how'd that work out?
contrary to popular belief you don't have to instagram your weed before you smoke it
WHY DO DRUG TESTS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE.
No shame November
tattoo artists need to learned to say "no i'm not doing that"
i wish i loved something as much as atheists love telling everyone they're athiests
did anyone ever figure out why we had to play the recorder in elementary school?
when life gives you hurricanes, make a drinking game out of it.
live so fully that westboro baptist church rallies at your funeral
yo what if there was a catfish episode where the girl is actually a catfish
nana thinks my room is a mess? she should see my life.
how the fuck did i come from the 11th friendliest town in america