My dentist today told me she's excited to go to New Orleans and she's wanted to go there ever since 9/11 and see Ground 0. God bless america

I liked you until you started liking me, now I'm bored.

Went and got my makeup done and now I look like a mermaid hooker

My parents keep a backup coffee machine ,in case you were wondering what our priorities were

Fuck you and your American Idol. Eurovision is a display of politics and shitty talent!

In case any of you are wondering who got "Parents of the Year" award in '95 it was my mom and dad http://t.co/oZDE2GcM

Castleton's new Forever21 is what heaven looks like I bet

My bank account hates me but my closet loves me

Greek yogurt is much likes its men, absolutely delicious!

If I were a hipster stripper my song would def be next girl by the black keys. But instead I'm a mainstream stripper & my family Hates me :(

Where I live it's usually the bigger the truck the smaller the brain..

The Olympics: The one time every couple of years where many Americans realize there are other countries in the world besides the USA

If fair week is the best week of your life then you've got some reevaluating to do

#TweetYourAddiction Meth

I'm probably going to get arrested for something I tweet on here one day

Obama is my favorite black president we've ever had!!

Bong? http://t.co/hRxjWZ3K

My whole life revolves around seeing how much I can get away with without getting arrested

Fellow females,sorry but Magic Mike looks like the stupidest movie.The plot is weak & honestly, those men are way too clean to be strippers

I don't like video games because what the FUCK is up with only one outfit choice?!??!