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if you'd like to be taken seriously may I first suggest you remove your white oakleys
96%: number of people tweeting about the government shutdown that should stick to tweeting about pumpkin spice lattes
the most powerful man on earth is on our campus and people are complaining cause they gotta walk 5 more minutes to class 😑
sweet 2 foot tall spoiler, your honda civic must be like sooooooo fast
also the women at the salon are laughing at me in japanese and the only english words I've heard are "sugar daddy"
I guess lacrosse runs in the family 👍
"Daughtry tickets are on sale, I can't wait to go!" -Nobody
wait you're going to be drinking tonight?????? that's so cool!!!!!!!!
#iGotNoRespectForYou if you get bored being sober
#IfTwitterWereHighschool nobody would be a leader because everyone would be a follower