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  • emmets
      Emmet @emmets

    You have it good when you can say "bring me my gongs" and then somebody actually brings you gongs

    • 2
    • FAVS
    dsgarberwistysylph
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    maddymoiselleDelistratyAvatar_unknown_48
  • emmets
      Emmet @emmets

    how many times could the governor do a cop switch. How many different sets of cops does one state have

    • 4
    • FAVS
    Peen_princepizzamangesandydubbinAvatar_unknown_48
  • emmets
     
    Emmet @emmets

    @pizzamanges this is how abroad I am: I am at a big dinner with lots of vodka and have not ruled out the possibility of kissing a cousin

    • 4
    • FAVS
    1427833944wistysylphDelistratymistergoldhaber
  • emmets
      Emmet @emmets

    good work business boys on your business journalism pic.twitter.com/GzfZCG3YFd

    • 2
    • FAVS
    angferontiAlfino27
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Delistraty
  • emmets
      Emmet @emmets

    mom and her shitty cell phone write poetry together sometimes pic.twitter.com/XOauBtNe5b

    • 2
    • FAVS
    pizzamangesmistergoldhaber
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    mistergoldhaber
  • emmets
      Emmet @emmets

    MIDI stands for Must I Die, Isabella. the inventor had to put his own heart in his synthesizer to make it work. Isabella was his mistress

    • 2
    • FAVS
    ginandTOMicAvatar_unknown_48
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    mistergoldhaber
  • emmets
      Emmet @emmets

    seeing kaguya has only further confirmed my belief that the moon is truly awful

    • 2
    • FAVS
    Alfino27mistergoldhaber
  • emmets
      Emmet @emmets

    Hey. Hey. Could you come over here for a second. Yeah hi i’m emmet. rod and sally’s son. Listen are these your gnats.

    • 2
    • FAVS
    Alfino27mistergoldhaber
  • emmets
      Emmet @emmets

    fuck sycamores. I'm tired if apologizing for those pieces of shit trees. sycamores are garbage and also pieces of shit

    • 2
    • FAVS
    C_De_Gaulle1427833944
  • emmets
      Emmet @emmets

    hi my names emmet I'm sleeping in a double bed with a 56yo man who last night got in bed then asked "so you have a girlfriend?" ask me anyth

    • 1
    • FAV
    Alfino27
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Delistraty
  • emmets
      Emmet @emmets

    Make fewer things illegal and more things barely legal

    • 2
    • FAVS
    Alfino27Avatar_unknown_48
  • emmets
      Emmet @emmets

    lambs in prams is my latest idea for a tumblr if anybody’s interested

    • 1
    • FAV
    ehp1026
  • emmets
      Emmet @emmets

    we are all waluigi

    • 1
    • RETWEET
    waluigi69
  • emmets
      Emmet @emmets

    when ur visiting ny and u listen to the awl pcast hoping choire will suggest things to do and instead he talks about truthers for 5 min<<<<<

    • 1
    • FAV
    mattbuchanan
  • emmets
      Emmet @emmets

    I have written no good words this weekend when I was supposed to write like five or six at least

    • 1
    • FAV
    mistergoldhaber
  • emmets
     
    Emmet @emmets

    @bafeldman we do not know each other but it was me I was the spoon man

    • 1
    • FAV
    mistergoldhaber
  • emmets
      Emmet @emmets

    what i do every time i enter a room pic.twitter.com/oCllZuJMwJ

    • 1
    • FAV
    Alfino27
  • emmets
      Emmet @emmets

    guy I knew growing up posted on fb that his favorite thing on earth aside from his frat is his summer camp

    • 1
    • FAV
    maddymoiselle
  • emmets
      Emmet @emmets

    post on internet or prepare for important interview. ha i’m a millennial, this is no contest

    • 1
    • FAV
    mistergoldhaber
  • emmets
      Emmet @emmets

    also green line extension is dead. was fun to imagine good transit but the man named baker will not allow it sorry.

    • 1
    • FAV
    ginandTOMic
@emmets

@emmets

Clandestine brand ambassador for how the wind feels on your cheek