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  • emmets
      Emmet @emmets

    You have it good when you can say "bring me my gongs" and then somebody actually brings you gongs

    • 2
    • FAVS
    dsgarberwistysylph
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    maddymoiselleDelistratyAvatar_unknown_48
  • emmets
      Emmet @emmets

    how many times could the governor do a cop switch. How many different sets of cops does one state have

    • 4
    • FAVS
    Peen_princepizzamangesandydubbinAvatar_unknown_48
  • emmets
     
    Emmet @emmets

    @pizzamanges this is how abroad I am: I am at a big dinner with lots of vodka and have not ruled out the possibility of kissing a cousin

    • 4
    • FAVS
    1427833944wistysylphDelistratymistergoldhaber
  • emmets
    • 2
    • FAVS
    Alfino27pizzamanges
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    pizzamanges
  • emmets
      Emmet @emmets

    good work business boys on your business journalism pic.twitter.com/GzfZCG3YFd

    • 2
    • FAVS
    cool_girl_angAlfino27
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Delistraty
  • emmets
      Emmet @emmets

    mom and her shitty cell phone write poetry together sometimes pic.twitter.com/XOauBtNe5b

    • 2
    • FAVS
    pizzamangesmistergoldhaber
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    mistergoldhaber
  • emmets
      Emmet @emmets

    MIDI stands for Must I Die, Isabella. the inventor had to put his own heart in his synthesizer to make it work. Isabella was his mistress

    • 2
    • FAVS
    ginandTOMicAvatar_unknown_48
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    mistergoldhaber
  • emmets
      Emmet @emmets

    It makes sense that amazon, a company that seems friendly but is in fact reprehensible, would hire woody allen, a comedian who seems frien

    • 1
    • FAV
    mistergoldhaber
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    mistergoldhaber
  • emmets
      Emmet @emmets

    the best filmic work of 2014 was the jeopardy tournament of champions. The second best was top of the lake. Thank you.

    • 1
    • FAV
    1427833944
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    1427833944
  • emmets
      Emmet @emmets

    today was bad and tomorrow will be worse. Then comes 2015

    • 2
    • FAVS
    mistergoldhaber1427833944
  • emmets
      Emmet @emmets

    lambs in prams is my latest idea for a tumblr if anybody’s interested

    • 2
    • FAVS
    mavsman323ehp1026
  • emmets
      Emmet @emmets

    seeing kaguya has only further confirmed my belief that the moon is truly awful

    • 2
    • FAVS
    Alfino27mistergoldhaber
  • emmets
      Emmet @emmets

    Hey. Hey. Could you come over here for a second. Yeah hi i’m emmet. rod and sally’s son. Listen are these your gnats.

    • 2
    • FAVS
    Alfino27mistergoldhaber
  • emmets
      Emmet @emmets

    fuck sycamores. I'm tired if apologizing for those pieces of shit trees. sycamores are garbage and also pieces of shit

    • 2
    • FAVS
    C_De_Gaulle1427833944
  • emmets
      Emmet @emmets

    hi my names emmet I'm sleeping in a double bed with a 56yo man who last night got in bed then asked "so you have a girlfriend?" ask me anyth

    • 1
    • FAV
    Alfino27
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Delistraty
  • emmets
      Emmet @emmets

    Make fewer things illegal and more things barely legal

    • 2
    • FAVS
    Alfino27Avatar_unknown_48
  • emmets
      Emmet @emmets

    very pleased at how neatly all the harvard scumbags (dershowitz, summers, pinker) are being implicated in this reprehensible epstein mess

    • 1
    • FAV
    mistergoldhaber
  • emmets
     
    Emmet @emmets

    @kcdamm @pizzamanges why have we allowed snakes to gather enough times for there to be a word for it

    • 1
    • FAV
    kcdamm
  • emmets
      Emmet @emmets

    stories from an idaho republican’s youth pic.twitter.com/8NwwyRAzT9

    • 1
    • FAV
    SENSummit2013
  • emmets
      Emmet @emmets

    The cockpit of a plane has too many buttons

    • 1
    • FAV
    stromptious
@emmets

@emmets

Clandestine brand ambassador for how the wind feels on your cheek