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  • emmets
      Emmet @emmets

    you lose an hour tonight but really every hour you are not training a falcon is a lost hour

    • 5
    • FAVS
    nikegrundlinghkcdammehp1026ethanhardy1427833944
  • emmets
      Emmet @emmets

    You have it good when you can say "bring me my gongs" and then somebody actually brings you gongs

    • 2
    • FAVS
    dsgarberwistysylph__
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    maddymoiselleDelistratyAvatar_unknown_48
  • emmets
      Emmet @emmets

    big life update folks. now that I am standing up again I can reach into my pocket and retrieve chapstick for my desert lips

    • 3
    • FAVS
    markvsteinbachotlbatesethanhardy
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    otlbates
  • emmets
      Emmet @emmets

    how many times could the governor do a cop switch. How many different sets of cops does one state have

    • 4
    • FAVS
    Peen_princepizzamangesandydubbinAvatar_unknown_48
  • emmets
     
    Emmet @emmets

    @pizzamanges this is how abroad I am: I am at a big dinner with lots of vodka and have not ruled out the possibility of kissing a cousin

    • 4
    • FAVS
    1427833944wistysylph__Delistratymistergoldhaber
  • emmets
      Emmet @emmets

    ncaa tournament needs a permanent big boy cam for every game. i want to know what the hugest b ball man is up to at all times

    • 3
    • FAVS
    Alfino27ethanhardyotlbates
  • emmets
      Emmet @emmets

    do you dare question the amount of pure amazing pussy i eat pic.twitter.com/uHG5pYVNtS

    • 3
    • FAVS
    mavsman323Eric_Arizonapizzamanges
  • emmets
      Emmet @emmets

    not sure emailing me is the first thing you should be doing about this, chad pic.twitter.com/JUkx2ZcygB

    • 3
    • FAVS
    ehp1026Alfino27pizzamanges
  • emmets
    • 2
    • FAVS
    Alfino27pizzamanges
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    pizzamanges
  • emmets
      Emmet @emmets

    good work business boys on your business journalism pic.twitter.com/GzfZCG3YFd

    • 2
    • FAVS
    cool_girl_angAlfino27
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Delistraty
  • emmets
      Emmet @emmets

    mom and her shitty cell phone write poetry together sometimes pic.twitter.com/XOauBtNe5b

    • 2
    • FAVS
    pizzamangesmistergoldhaber
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    mistergoldhaber
  • emmets
      Emmet @emmets

    MIDI stands for Must I Die, Isabella. the inventor had to put his own heart in his synthesizer to make it work. Isabella was his mistress

    • 2
    • FAVS
    ginandtomicAvatar_unknown_48
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    mistergoldhaber
  • emmets
      Emmet @emmets

    -Who’s that rich bastard over there
    -Oh that’s the famous wealthy fuck, emmet
    -I hate him
    -I do as well

    • 2
    • FAVS
    ehp1026maddymoiselle
  • emmets
     
    Emmet @emmets

    @twaddick @markvsteinbach i love it when the boys interact online

    • 2
    • FAVS
    twaddickmarkvsteinbach
  • emmets
      Emmet @emmets

    [i put my hand on your shoulder like a true friend does] i would most likely out of instinct avoid taking a bullet for you

    • 2
    • FAVS
    markvsteinbachdoublejack
  • emmets
      Emmet @emmets

    at least two times now I have texted in cAmEl case because I somehow think it’s flirty why why why would I think that

    • 2
    • FAVS
    Alfino27otlbates
  • emmets
      Emmet @emmets

    a guy i knew in hs once told me he didn’t get literature cause why couldn’t authors just say what their books meant. he works at google now.

    • 2
    • FAVS
    markvsteinbachmistergoldhaber
  • emmets
     
    Emmet @emmets

    my nephew opened his email and it said “you’ve been given the gift of applebees.” the gift card is for $100 of applebees

    • 2
    • FAVS
    hasselmonemarkvsteinbach
  • emmets
      Emmet @emmets

    an old man tried to insult me by calling me “pretty boy” today at the bus stop and it made me feel special

    • 2
    • FAVS
    1427833944nikegrundlingh
  • emmets
      Emmet @emmets

    i will be scared of life until i’m about 70, when i will transition to being scared of death

    • 1
    • FAV
    samsrichman
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    twaddick
@emmets

@emmets

ah i am so good except for all the mucous i produce

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