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You have it good when you can say "bring me my gongs" and then somebody actually brings you gongs
how many times could the governor do a cop switch. How many different sets of cops does one state have
MIDI stands for Must I Die, Isabella. the inventor had to put his own heart in his synthesizer to make it work. Isabella was his mistress
Hey. Hey. Could you come over here for a second. Yeah hi i’m emmet. rod and sally’s son. Listen are these your gnats.
fuck sycamores. I'm tired if apologizing for those pieces of shit trees. sycamores are garbage and also pieces of shit
hi my names emmet I'm sleeping in a double bed with a 56yo man who last night got in bed then asked "so you have a girlfriend?" ask me anyth
Make fewer things illegal and more things barely legal
The special non-glass-covered airport wall that you look on from your plane and you know right behind it are 20 men shittin at once
The beer bar in my hometown is one of the maybe three to five things that actually make America great
Whispering to the gnat morass “where do you come from.” The swarming millions answer not.
I want to take a picture of the millions of gnats in my backyard but they are too powerful to be captured by my pathetic human optics
dear grant committee please fund my desire to think my same dumb thoughts in another far away country
In last 24 hours I’ve eaten apple pie alone in my kitchen at 12am and gone to a silent film alone at 2pm. Every minute on earth is a gift
I have an ello which I have never seen because it crashes my web browser. Is this chic
Doritos once made a flavor called intense pickle. The innovation economy at work.
need to reach Nas please help folks