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You have it good when you can say "bring me my gongs" and then somebody actually brings you gongs
how many times could the governor do a cop switch. How many different sets of cops does one state have
MIDI stands for Must I Die, Isabella. the inventor had to put his own heart in his synthesizer to make it work. Isabella was his mistress
Hey. Hey. Could you come over here for a second. Yeah hi i’m emmet. rod and sally’s son. Listen are these your gnats.
fuck sycamores. I'm tired if apologizing for those pieces of shit trees. sycamores are garbage and also pieces of shit
hi my names emmet I'm sleeping in a double bed with a 56yo man who last night got in bed then asked "so you have a girlfriend?" ask me anyth
Make fewer things illegal and more things barely legal
guy I knew growing up posted on fb that his favorite thing on earth aside from his frat is his summer camp
post on internet or prepare for important interview. ha i’m a millennial, this is no contest
also green line extension is dead. was fun to imagine good transit but the man named baker will not allow it sorry.
our democracy is broken *clap clap clapclapclap*
so let’s say I am not showing symptoms of ebola and am therefore not contagious. why can I not go bowling.
The special non-glass-covered airport wall that you look on from your plane and you know right behind it are 20 men shittin at once
The beer bar in my hometown is one of the maybe three to five things that actually make America great
Whispering to the gnat morass “where do you come from.” The swarming millions answer not.