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you lose an hour tonight but really every hour you are not training a falcon is a lost hour
You have it good when you can say "bring me my gongs" and then somebody actually brings you gongs
big life update folks. now that I am standing up again I can reach into my pocket and retrieve chapstick for my desert lips
how many times could the governor do a cop switch. How many different sets of cops does one state have
ncaa tournament needs a permanent big boy cam for every game. i want to know what the hugest b ball man is up to at all times
MIDI stands for Must I Die, Isabella. the inventor had to put his own heart in his synthesizer to make it work. Isabella was his mistress
-Who’s that rich bastard over there
-Oh that’s the famous wealthy fuck, emmet
-I hate him
-I do as well
[i put my hand on your shoulder like a true friend does] i would most likely out of instinct avoid taking a bullet for you
at least two times now I have texted in cAmEl case because I somehow think it’s flirty why why why would I think that
a guy i knew in hs once told me he didn’t get literature cause why couldn’t authors just say what their books meant. he works at google now.
my nephew opened his email and it said “you’ve been given the gift of applebees.” the gift card is for $100 of applebees
an old man tried to insult me by calling me “pretty boy” today at the bus stop and it made me feel special
i will be scared of life until i’m about 70, when i will transition to being scared of death
ah i am so good except for all the mucous i produce
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