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Your attractive, male friends who flirt with you and listen to your romantic woes don't think you're special. They think they're next.
The best part about being single is having a whole bed to yourself. An entire cold, lonely, expanse of cushiony, heartbreaking indifference.
Consider the phrase "Better to be alone than in bad company" followed by "You are your own worst enemy", and the logical conclusion is grim.
I had a dream I was Persephone. Upon being abducted by Hades to the Underworld, I was just like "Eh, I was bored of picking flowers anyway".
I still get angry when the Ally Sheedy character gets a makeover in The Breakfast Club.
"They proved that if you quit smoking, it will prolong your life. What they haven't proved is that a prolonged life is a good thing..."
A teenager in an antique shop marvels at a rotary phone. She's never rolled down a car window by hand. We're all gonna die and be forgotten.
To men who consider smoking a nasty habit for a woman: keep in mind we have an oral fixation, and you come equipped with a pacifier.
If you find yourself with romantic feelings for more than one person at a time, there's a simple solution. Choose the non-imaginary person.
A high IQ is actually a good predictor of depression. So take some comfort in knowing you're likely not a blubbering idiot. Cold comfort.
Act One: attraction, affection, connection. Act Two: pleasure, serenity, aspiration. Final Act: revulsion, aversion...rejection.
He was the most charming bear in the river. Salmon begged to be ripped apart by his well-manicured claws and eaten by such a clever mouth.
Step 1. Look at yourself. See your shape, your face, your eyes as they appear to the one who adores you.
Step 2. Now try to look away.
Dorkstress. Girly tomboy baby. Magically delicious. Insufferably delightful. Made of meat.
