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  • eric10F
      eric10F @eric10F

    "You know where you are? You're at McDonalds baby, you want some friiiiiies?" - Axl Rose, September employee of the month.

    • 1,010
    • FAVS
    Beesthegamebaileydevyn77LeslieAMLTheTalkingPipeBarbiturateCatbreatheandlovemolokaieeIts_Baldylockz
    • 645
    • RETWEETS
    BeesthegameTheTalkingPipeEaton_BeaverIts_Baldylockzraginbull67FarwaAli6DJAmarrotheKMOshow
    WonderMonkey78bestlizardvaporcoffinlaurascazCpt_BurnoutveinarmorwarholearyShaunRightNowGimpySunshine____aimeevc1970skitzoetteMikeCanRant
  • eric10F
      eric10F @eric10F

    You shit yourself twice in one day at work and suddenly you're "that guy who shit himself twice in one day at work"

    • 1,055
    • FAVS
    MyLongRealitymikefofficialKellieLouise8__eshawwleyGeeThePotatoRosie_ZadiniaThePhotowagonseasonalsquare
    • 505
    • RETWEETS
    ednapayne52marionwilson75johnnchis75russelharbe57lorineal87yvonnefuller30mikefofficialjacksullivan349
    CelebrityChezbelleahhSCBamaManninatreemonkeybillymeetsworldpbear79Sarcasmo718weinerdog4lifeTheRealLobot______adambation
  • eric10F
      eric10F @eric10F

    You had me at "various dipping sauces"

    • 810
    • FAVS
    JensenRoseeMyLongRealitybeverlyballinRJizz23BeesthegameJettBisquebrewcitytatgirlfinancecharge
    • 410
    • RETWEETS
    MyLongRealityOneTrickTofaniBeesthegameallosh72TheTalkingPipeIts_BaldylockzPretzelNYpbear79
    DanKCharnleyrossbransonKentTheG__________whatitsmenej
  • eric10F
      eric10F @eric10F

    "Then why do they call it a MANicure?!" I sob as I wipe the tears from my face with my newly bedazzled, fuschia painted fingernails.

    • 706
    • FAVS
    OneTrickTofaniBeesthegamefinancechargeTheTalkingPipebreatheandlovemolokaieeIts_BaldylockzSleazySli
    • 316
    • RETWEETS
    Beesthegametayaus5Its_BaldylockzPretzelNYThe_red_keySublimelysweetGsecretlydeviantethan_murphy01
    junejuly12reddishunicornonehappyghostteacup_giraffe____
  • eric10F
      eric10F @eric10F

    Just had sex with a loaf of bread, now I have a yeast infection. I just hope the baby isn't born inbread, or we'll end up eloafing.

    • 659
    • FAVS
    ChuckleCovenCharlayy2628GenitalWardsBeesthegameTheTalkingPipebreatheandlovebrighteyes_23__PoppaFerg
    • 321
    • RETWEETS
    RJizz23BeesthegameIts_Baldylockzblugreen12pangieeveeballoon_knottyOhgoddessitsmeCubanaMama82
    ShaunRightNowwarmfeathers
  • eric10F
      eric10F @eric10F

    Tried to pick a booger off my phone screen. Ended up calling my mom, signing up for AOL and getting an online degree in refrigerator repair

    • 643
    • FAVS
    JTppManBeesthegamefinancechargeTheTalkingPipebreatheandlovebrighteyes_23__NatasshaStashPoppaFerg
    • 272
    • RETWEETS
    BeesthegameIts_BaldylockzPretzelNYMissMonster89MattySW11CaptBerserkerBadAssB48546279SoulYodeler
    PretzelNYBigMedwardsveinarmor
  • eric10F
      eric10F @eric10F

    "What are your 4 best features?" She asked seductively. "My chins" I replied as tears poured down my chocolate cake stained cheeks.

    • 601
    • FAVS
    BedheadBunnybeverlyballinBeesthegameTheTalkingPipebreatheandloveIts_BaldylockzSleazySligefiltecat
    • 313
    • RETWEETS
    Beesthegametayaus5Its_BaldylockzgefiltecatPretzelNYmlccmTPOGinvestvanillapixie
    dapptrapWeyAyeChickPaulyMosh
  • eric10F
      eric10F @eric10F

    I just saved a ton of money by buying a can of Febreze instead of a washing machine.

    • 558
    • FAVS
    BeesthegameJettBisqueTheTalkingPipebreatheandloveIts_BaldylockzSleazySliJohnASinclairwilliamwanton
    • 230
    • RETWEETS
    TheTalkingPipeIts_BaldylockzPretzelNYEddSkaterheyitsrieeAizatSaysloofranchotPanettaSexyTime
    Black__Elvispeachey_keenSwoonTwang________
  • eric10F
      eric10F @eric10F

    Some people said "hey eric10F, maybe you shouldn't drink on a Wednesday" and I replied "hey, fuckface, maybe I don't know what day it is"

    • 509
    • FAVS
    lucyf0rdBeesthegameessiebirdMobergMrfinancechargePinkebellyk_cycylordgreybush48
    • 226
    • RETWEETS
    VodkaShorebirdfinancechargek_cycyTheTalkingPipeEaton_BeaverIts_BaldylockzPretzelNYidunowho
    mllebeckyrosethemowg
  • eric10F
      eric10F @eric10F

    If by 'raw dogging' you mean eat uncooked hot dogs alone in bed at night, then yes, I raw dog all. the. time.

    • 501
    • FAVS
    ChuckleCovenLisyDrakeDTRbellethesillyheartMissXohLicramXMihawkBloodQwertyJones3
    • 230
    • RETWEETS
    lllvvvzzzLaniKaiDuckQwertyJones3BelleVie73hornsfan35iinkedZombieKierenJSnarfernini
    TeflonPawnOBiiieeee
  • eric10F
      eric10F @eric10F

    "Sir, I don't care if you brought your jukebox money, this is RADIO shack. The love shack is 15 miles down the road.. please put on pants"

    • 503
    • FAVS
    phunnyinloveHulaBabeeBouji_boyAuntiPaxAlpheyBedheadBunnyBeesthegameTheTalkingPipe
    • 227
    • RETWEETS
    HulaBabeeAuntiPaxBedheadBunnyBeesthegameEaton_BeaverIts_Baldylockzimmortaljaye143stern
    VodkaShorebirdadamthislife
  • eric10F
      eric10F @eric10F

    "Thundercats, Thundercats, Thundercats Helloooooo! Is it me you're looking for?" - Lion-O Richie.

    • 479
    • FAVS
    BeesthegamebreatheandloveCheesecake79walesboy1972Nicksgaarmsmollybee25Its_Baldylockzsarahsansom
    • 226
    • RETWEETS
    FireAtWill_iamBeesthegameEaton_Beaverwalesboy1972Its_BaldylockzBeardedManFaceGinRumMeSleazySli
    dreamthievinBlack__ElvisArinLeeMorrisrepublicOFcruz
  • eric10F
      eric10F @eric10F

    I like my women like I like my comic books: rare, well inked, with plenty of issues.

    (also: wrapped in plastic and stored in my closet)

    • 472
    • FAVS
    beverlyballinBeesthegamebreatheandlovebrighteyes_23__vagina_carmen__Its_BaldylockzlaschminkieSleazySli
    • 222
    • RETWEETS
    BeesthegameIts_BaldylockzSleazySlisentret69RiotGRRLBarbieToooShoeraisatiriAarchAngell
    mewritesgoodPortRooster__Chi_luci_08______
  • eric10F
      eric10F @eric10F

    If there is ever a zombie apocalypse, I'd have a hard time telling the difference between a zombie, and a drunk girl in high heels.

    • 450
    • FAVS
    BeesthegameHumor_FetishbreatheandloveDakotahDoneJamesFawcett96tea_is_gr8WellsNathanJohnlexiemeowww
    • 231
    • RETWEETS
    Beesthegamebreatheandlovechaantayxits__jodieceejjjayypale_mermaidmaaria_oxoxIts_Baldylockz
  • eric10F
      eric10F @eric10F

    Apparently I got "DVR Harry and the Hendersons" drunk last night.

    • 471
    • FAVS
    vmarsfangirlkaykaymourTeresaThom18JCWisdomNuggetsaveuaskewLipglosslesbostl_ericriverpig12
    • 151
    • RETWEETS
    SliveredEpitomeLipglosslesboSomthinBoutSaraAmBunyard__darrrkstarrrBeesthegameLoveMyScionFRSIts_Baldylockz
    Adar79AngieCherhole__________
  • eric10F
      eric10F @eric10F

    After last night, my liver is so black that Tyler Perry just made a movie about it.

    • 425
    • FAVS
    DilemmaEmmaEmmaKyleLTrimperbeverlyballinBeesthegamebreatheandlovebrighteyes_23__hajrapznosevaccum__
    • 167
    • RETWEETS
    VodkaShorebirdBeesthegamevagina_carmen__LoveMyScionFRSIts_BaldylockzPretzelNYshotime420Mike_OchoCinco
    themorris23adambation
  • eric10F
      eric10F @eric10F

    TONY is STARK naked because he forgot to IRON his clothes, MAN.

    MARVEL at the shittyness of this tweet

    • 381
    • FAVS
    BedheadBunnyBeesthegamebreatheandlovePoppaFergIts_BaldylockzPanettaSexyTimepbear79LilianaXO
    • 196
    • RETWEETS
    BeesthegameIts_BaldylockzVenusRockHobbitRoxtalled__flashemberBenSaintyKlonopinJackLMHPhotog
    TheIronSherk
  • eric10F
      eric10F @eric10F

    Walked outside and 2 baby birds flew out from behind me.... I feel like a disney character.... an out of shape, hungover disney character.

    • 413
    • FAVS
    Beesthegamefinancechargebreatheandlovebrighteyes_23__Its_BaldylockzSublimelysweetGSweetie_me7angel55533
    • 139
    • RETWEETS
    BeesthegameEaton_Beaver2drinks_aheadIts_Baldylockzthoughtgasmsangel55533ToooShoeBadAssB48546279
    TheDailySchmuck
  • eric10F
      eric10F @eric10F

    Rappers are terrible with pets: the Baja Men let their dogs out, DMX never knows where his dogs are at, and Pitbull is awful.

    • 379
    • FAVS
    BedheadBunnybeverlyballinBeesthegameKingHenry_D8thbreatheandlovegefiltecatDirtyLittleLieJBlackout
    • 162
    • RETWEETS
    BeesthegameKingHenry_D8thgefiltecatpbear79VenusRockHobbitFlip_FilosophyJawsTheMusicalSoLongStephen
  • eric10F
      eric10F @eric10F

    Just made an ice cream sundae so big that Marc Summers appeared and said if I found the flag hidden in it, I'd win a pair of British Knights

    • 358
    • FAVS
    breatheandloveICnSmellUrBundtrunswscissors21BYGHshesananteaterVenusRockHobbitSadPerunaTweetsByTheTony
    • 150
    • RETWEETS
    beverlyballinBeesthegameshesananteaterVenusRockHobbitTweetsByTheTonyBownuggetslovemypsychosisTw1tter_K1tten
    LurkAtHomeMomOBiiieeeeMcSwtrvstNurseMurdererGimpySunshine____
@eric10F

@eric10F