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  • eric10F
      eric10F @eric10F

    "You know where you are? You're at McDonalds baby, you want some friiiiiies?" - Axl Rose, September employee of the month.

    • 1,056
    • FAVS
    XOSchitzodevsmadden11Spaced_Cowboy00vianeye1NorthsideZepfankkurtzeborndavid_tullbmead94
    • 677
    • RETWEETS
    LAbizznessdevsmadden11XOSchitzoSpaced_Cowboy00NorthsideZepfankkurtzeborndavid_tullorgofart
    EvileSkullWonderMonkey78bestlizardRitleySammichlaurascazCpt_BurnoutveinarmorwarholearyShaunRightNowGimpySunshine____aimeevc1970skitzoetteMikeCanRant
  • eric10F
      eric10F @eric10F

    You shit yourself twice in one day at work and suddenly you're "that guy who shit himself twice in one day at work"

    • 1,127
    • FAVS
    LAbizznessboyleb67XOSchitzoBrooklynatSpaced_Cowboy00BarrettDrydenomically2s0ckz
    • 536
    • RETWEETS
    Spaced_Cowboy00ToritrylovichRednckTruckrHatsuggarloafHunterStithamphy1981NorthPawedDanny_Porter8
    VodkaShorebirdCelebrityChezbelleahhSCBamaManninatreemonkeypotatokingpin__pbear79Sarcasmo718weinerdog4lifeTheRealLobot______adamrunsfar
  • eric10F
      eric10F @eric10F

    You had me at "various dipping sauces"

    • 823
    • FAVS
    Spaced_Cowboy00McCutty1PYWLCamel_CrushinOh_Georgityp0negativejohnbiehlsploosk
    • 419
    • RETWEETS
    Spaced_Cowboy00ajayisraniKizerBillhelmMcCutty1Camel_CrushinStephie_Larktyp0negativeAlExplain_Later
    DanKCharnleyrossbransonKentTheG__________whatitsmenej
  • eric10F
      eric10F @eric10F

    "Then why do they call it a MANicure?!" I sob as I wipe the tears from my face with my newly bedazzled, fuschia painted fingernails.

    • 708
    • FAVS
    Spaced_Cowboy00EvileSkullOneTrickTofaniBeesthegamefinancechargeTheTalkingPipe__breatheandlovesnide_leah
    • 318
    • RETWEETS
    Spaced_Cowboy00EvileSkullBeesthegametayaus5Its_Baldylockz__PretzelNYThe_red_key__SublimelysweetG
    junejuly12reddishunicornonehappyghostteacup_giraffe____
  • eric10F
      eric10F @eric10F

    Just had sex with a loaf of bread, now I have a yeast infection. I just hope the baby isn't born inbread, or we'll end up eloafing.

    • 659
    • FAVS
    ChuckleCovenCharlayy2628GenitalWardsBeesthegameTheTalkingPipe__breatheandlove_brghteyesPoppaFerg
    • 321
    • RETWEETS
    MCSharky23BeesthegameIts_Baldylockz__blugreen12pangieevee__balloon_knottyOhgoddessitsmeCubanaMama82
    ShaunRightNowwarmfeathers
  • eric10F
      eric10F @eric10F

    Tried to pick a booger off my phone screen. Ended up calling my mom, signing up for AOL and getting an online degree in refrigerator repair

    • 651
    • FAVS
    bouncingblondesuggarloafMasterSociopathB1gBrainsMcGeeHatterGunnlongleggedbritfuzzlimeCarolinaSong
    • 275
    • RETWEETS
    NickyValentinefuzzlimeCarolinaSongBeesthegameIts_Baldylockz__PretzelNYMissMonster89MattySW11
    PretzelNYBigMedwardsveinarmor
  • eric10F
      eric10F @eric10F

    "What are your 4 best features?" She asked seductively. "My chins" I replied as tears poured down my chocolate cake stained cheeks.

    • 602
    • FAVS
    longleggedbritBedheadBunnybeverlyballinBeesthegameTheTalkingPipe__breatheandloveIts_Baldylockz__SleazySli
    • 315
    • RETWEETS
    favstar_historylongleggedbritBeesthegametayaus5Its_Baldylockz__likeabeecat__PretzelNYmlccm
    dapptrapWeyAyeChickPaulyMosh
  • eric10F
      eric10F @eric10F

    I just saved a ton of money by buying a can of Febreze instead of a washing machine.

    • 560
    • FAVS
    buddhatreelikeabeecat__BeesthegameJettBisqueTheTalkingPipe__breatheandloveIts_Baldylockz__SleazySli
    • 231
    • RETWEETS
    likeabeecat__TheTalkingPipe__Its_Baldylockz__PretzelNYEddSkaterheyitsrieeAizatSaysloofranchot
    Black__Elvispeachey_keenSwoonTwang________
  • eric10F
      eric10F @eric10F

    Some people said "hey eric10F, maybe you shouldn't drink on a Wednesday" and I replied "hey, fuckface, maybe I don't know what day it is"

    • 510
    • FAVS
    buddhatreelucyf0rdBeesthegameessiebirdMobergMrfinancechargePinkebellyk_cycy
    • 227
    • RETWEETS
    likeabeecat__VodkaShorebirdfinancechargek_cycyTheTalkingPipe__Eaton_BeaverIts_Baldylockz__PretzelNY
    mllebeckyrosereverendmowg
  • eric10F
      eric10F @eric10F

    If by 'raw dogging' you mean eat uncooked hot dogs alone in bed at night, then yes, I raw dog all. the. time.

    • 502
    • FAVS
    Jack_Wagon1ChuckleCovenLisyDrakeDTRbelle__thesillyheartMissXohLicramXMihawkBlood
    • 230
    • RETWEETS
    lllvvvzzzLaniKaiDuckQwertyJones3BelleVie73hornsfan35iinkedZombieKierenJSnarfernini
    TeflonPawnOBiiieeee
  • eric10F
      eric10F @eric10F

    "Sir, I don't care if you brought your jukebox money, this is RADIO shack. The love shack is 15 miles down the road.. please put on pants"

    • 503
    • FAVS
    phunnyinloveHulaBabeeBouji_boyAuntiPaxAlpheyBedheadBunnyBeesthegameTheTalkingPipe__
    • 228
    • RETWEETS
    favstar_historyHulaBabeeAuntiPaxBedheadBunnyBeesthegameEaton_BeaverIts_Baldylockz__immortaljaye
    VodkaShorebirdadamthislife
  • eric10F
      eric10F @eric10F

    "Thundercats, Thundercats, Thundercats Helloooooo! Is it me you're looking for?" - Lion-O Richie.

    • 479
    • FAVS
    BeesthegamebreatheandloveCheesecake79walesboy1972Nicksgaarmsmollybee25Its_Baldylockz__sarahsansom
    • 226
    • RETWEETS
    FireAtWill_iamBeesthegameEaton_Beaverwalesboy1972Its_Baldylockz__BeardedManFaceGinRumMeSleazySli
    dreamthievinBlack__ElvisArinLeeMorrisrepublicOFcruz
  • eric10F
      eric10F @eric10F

    I like my women like I like my comic books: rare, well inked, with plenty of issues.

    (also: wrapped in plastic and stored in my closet)

    • 474
    • FAVS
    CrystalMe523Jack_Wagon1beverlyballinBeesthegamebreatheandlove_brghteyesvagina_carmen__Its_Baldylockz__
    • 222
    • RETWEETS
    BeesthegameIts_Baldylockz__SleazySlisentret69RiotGRRLBarbieToooShoeraisatiriAarchAngell
    mewritesgoodPortRooster__Chi_luci_08______
  • eric10F
      eric10F @eric10F

    If there is ever a zombie apocalypse, I'd have a hard time telling the difference between a zombie, and a drunk girl in high heels.

    • 450
    • FAVS
    BeesthegameHumor_FetishbreatheandloveDakotahDoneJamesFawcett96tea_is_gr8WellsNathanJohnlexiemeowww
    • 232
    • RETWEETS
    favstar_historyBeesthegamebreatheandlovechaantayxits__jodieceejjjayyp4leprincessmaaria_oxox
  • eric10F
      eric10F @eric10F

    Apparently I got "DVR Harry and the Hendersons" drunk last night.

    • 471
    • FAVS
    vmarsfangirlkaykaymourTeresaThom18JCWisdomNuggetsaveuaskewLipglosslesbostl_ericriverpig12
    • 152
    • RETWEETS
    favstar_historySliveredEpitomeLipglosslesboSomthinBoutSaraAmBunyarddarrrkstarrrBeesthegameLoveMyScionFRS
    Adar79AngieCherhole__________
  • eric10F
      eric10F @eric10F

    After last night, my liver is so black that Tyler Perry just made a movie about it.

    • 425
    • FAVS
    DilemmaEmmaEmmaKyleLTrimperbeverlyballinBeesthegamebreatheandlove_brghteyeshighpoppeenosevaccum__
    • 167
    • RETWEETS
    VodkaShorebirdBeesthegamevagina_carmen__LoveMyScionFRSIts_Baldylockz__PretzelNYshotime420Mike_OchoCinco
    themorris23adamrunsfar
  • eric10F
      eric10F @eric10F

    Walked outside and 2 baby birds flew out from behind me.... I feel like a disney character.... an out of shape, hungover disney character.

    • 439
    • FAVS
    2thestreetziSashaSonofConwaySashaBuchanan1yourmomonessSarahCAMoore__redpawn3DearAbbySimon
    • 149
    • RETWEETS
    2thestreetzSashaBuchanan1aileensbaird__aaaChristiineCheeseboy22Henry_3kcarlosmybitchkv8
    TheDailySchmuck
  • eric10F
      eric10F @eric10F

    TONY is STARK naked because he forgot to IRON his clothes, MAN.

    MARVEL at the shittyness of this tweet

    • 382
    • FAVS
    Jack_Wagon1BedheadBunnyBeesthegamebreatheandlovePoppaFergIts_Baldylockz__PanettaSexyTimepbear79
    • 196
    • RETWEETS
    BeesthegameIts_Baldylockz__VenusRockHobbit__Roxtalled__flashemberBenSaintyKlonopinJackLMHPhotog
    TheIronSherk
  • eric10F
      eric10F @eric10F

    Rappers are terrible with pets: the Baja Men let their dogs out, DMX never knows where his dogs are at, and Pitbull is awful.

    • 380
    • FAVS
    beccafacexoBedheadBunnybeverlyballinBeesthegameKingHenry_D8thbreatheandlovelikeabeecat__DirtyLittleLie
    • 162
    • RETWEETS
    BeesthegameKingHenry_D8thlikeabeecat__pbear79VenusRockHobbit__Flip_FilosophyJawsTheMusicalSoLongStephen
  • eric10F
      eric10F @eric10F

    Just made an ice cream sundae so big that Marc Summers appeared and said if I found the flag hidden in it, I'd win a pair of British Knights

    • 358
    • FAVS
    breatheandloveICnSmellUrBundtrunswscissors21BYGHshesananteaterVenusRockHobbit__SadPerunaTweetsByTheTony
    • 150
    • RETWEETS
    beverlyballinBeesthegameshesananteaterVenusRockHobbit__TweetsByTheTonyBownuggetslovemypsychosisTw1tter_K1tten
    LurkAtHomeMomOBiiieeeeMcSwtrvstNurseMurdererGimpySunshine____
@eric10F

@eric10F

My favorite color is blacked out.

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