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I wish I was a little bit shorter I wish I was a hoarder I wish there was a bed made of cats I could order.
Verizon clerk: how'd you get Google Glass. You know that's only for developers, right?
Me: not all black guys sling rocks or have jump shots
The easiest way to vertically center something in CSS is to close your laptop and go to the bar.
I have an <EM><B><A> from HTML U.
Hey guys check out my fast in-memory NoSQL database *reveals .csv files on a ramdisk*
Want everyone to point and laugh at you? Walk into a PA Target and ask where the liquor is. Bonus points if you do it on a Sun.
Have we tried turning the world off for two minutes and then turning it back on?
If I had a check for every time my “check engine” light came on, if probably take the thing more seriously.
About fucking time the internet gave us a cat dressed as a shark riding a Roomba chasing a duck. http://24.media.tumblr.com/6986166623219890aecb766874bcdd14/tumblr_mldjvvNI0Z1r6uouqo1_500.gif …
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My hope is that after healthcare is free and available to all, mental healthcare becomes just as easy. It'll improve so many lives.
FACT :: if your mom didn't write you in for president she doesn't love you.