My therapist thinks I require too much external validation. What do you guys think?

Trying to think of a word that makes me angry faster than "buffering..."

Dear Mississippi,

Headlights are not a form of witchcraft. It is okay to use them. I promise.

I'll never be able to adequately thank the Olympics for getting my grandparents to temporarily change the channel from Fox "News."

If you don't know & love someone who's LGBTQ, where do you live and what year is it?

I'm not paranoid but sometimes it feels like everything that happens to me is part of a sick joke perpetrated by everyone I've ever met.

I spend way too much time staring at this website. http://t.co/OIUdTRlk via @letsfreckle

I'm really good at making myself miserable.

You guys would not believe the sheer number of things I'm putting off doing right now.

I can summarize my day in five words: I had wine for breakfast.

@morocca All I hear all day long is how great Latvia is at this or how wonderfully Latvia did that. Latvia Latvia Latvia!

Last night I used voice to text and it was all correct including the apostrophes and now I don't know what to believe

People of Twitter: I'm *not* flirting with you, it's just that your hair looks really nice today and you smell good and I like your shoes...

Did you know that your emotions are valid?

I wonder at what incongruous hour my sleeping pills will decide to kick in today

It's not that I don't trust you, it's just that I don't trust anybody.

I can't decide if it's *only* Wednesday or if it's *already* Wednesday.

I'm feeling just so pumped from all these facts. <3 @nmtb_tv #jazzfunkfacts

@andykindler Brain surgeons are always confused to hear they need rocket science.

@lanyardtwerk White Powerade?