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Then I started blowing bubbles in my gin and tonic like a four year old and one said to me "Now I've seen everything"
There's this boy who speaks no English and gifts me with tokens of appreciation I don't deserve; like books & pushpops
My sister just screamed in her sleep: "WHAT ARE THE EXPERIMENTS?!"
Also, like is it wrong that I wasn't attracted to this man at all until I saw him as a potential professor/authority figure??
Or the one lying in it
Woke up naked wrapped up in a blanket burrito & was all WTF until I remembered that this time blacking out is acceptable
Literally soaked my legs, scarf, & chair in alcohol... you're a joke.
Hi, you're fucking 28. If you're taking a shot, man the fuck up instead of sputtering & getting your drink all over me
27 hours of work in 2 days = drinking/yawning alone at the bar
Had the best day regardless of the 13 hr shift, walking alone for an hour afterwards, & running up 11 flights of stairs
I don't think I've ever grasped the concept of balance in my life
I don't blame you for forgetting things best left forgotten
Lunar New Year parade today! Postponed due to Nemo but the dragons dancing in the streets are an aptly timed reminder of renewal
Clutching my stuffed elephant crying softly to myself while singing some Passion Pit, wondering why everyone is staring?
I like the way Neil Young sobs into his pillow at night
Noble monsters turn to parakeets and pigeons
attempt #4 at tweeting. obviously i'm someone who never gives up. i am also the original captain of #teamnopants