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If your infant son starts smacking you in the tit with the remote control, it's fair to nickname him "The Patriarchy" right?
"How the fuck do you spell that?" "You spell it however you think you spell it, and when it has a little squiggle under it you right-click."
LOL. RT @narcissica: This is a compelling argument for #polyamory being wrong. I may have to rethink things. http://bit.ly/iiKdnS
When we got couches, some naysayers thought any but the cheapest furniture was dumb with new babies, but poop wipes off leather. #justsaying
"It is an impressively arrogant move to conclude that just because you don't like something, it is empirically not good." I <3 Tina Fey
"These furry balls are off the wall." --Ad for an '80s stuffed toy called the Popples. It was a different time.
Must give props to @testkitchen - their Foolproof Pie Dough is exactly that. Easiest pie ever, perflectly tender, flaky crust.
As someone who was once a child, I can't hear your "healthy alternatives to Halloween candy" conversation without thinking you are FAIL.
How ridiculous is it that people act like they're somehow ENLIGHTENED if they watch the Super Bowl "just for the commercials"?
Stuck between feeling incompetent to care for my kids… and like nothing could possibly justify the cost of help.
At the wedding of dear friends. Reminding me how completely blessed I am to have found @stesla.
Depending where you put your emphasis, "Man, I'm gettin' shit done today," means two opposite things.
Want to know who makes the best butter flavor for popcorn? TRICK QUESTION IT IS COWS
You don't realize how apt the comparison between rice cakes and styrofoam is until you notice your teeth are perfectly packed for shipping.
Liam is super thrilled about his new role as Official Brother Washer. pic.twitter.com/C1ZYfXICdr
On getting that TV in that hole: "Is it in?" "I think it's crooked. How far in is it?" "I don't know." "Well, check with your fingers!"
People, I love you, but the Santorum sex jokes were stale years ago, before all 532 of you made them just now.
New mom, feminist, physics nerd, photographer, writer, freedom freak, jack-of-all-trades-except-housecleaning - but I try.
