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Proposal: Nap Floor in the library. Nap Floors in every building. Every Floor Is A Nap Floor
Kid, you don't know the first thing about being a piece of shit. *takes drag off a cigarette* it takes dedication. It takes heart.
This bitch can suck a 🍆
18 years ago I cried nonstop and was completely dependent on those around me for survival like a parasite, so at least I've been consistent
And people are my religion because I believe in them
Lol at this huge ceremony for a piece of paper that can't get you a job anywhere
"oh shit we have NOTHING planned for the seniors this quarter" its ok i got this *assigns several overlapping bull shit projects* hah got em
willing to love anyone who could teach me how to turn a t-shirt into a tank
"wow ethan, you've sure got alotta work ahead of ya," said my brain. i retort: "but i've never seen the breakfast club and it's on netflix!"
Forgetting Potion: 10 parts Oatmeal, 90 parts Vodka
Roommate's parents just walked in on me frantically folding towels in my underwear yess nice
Operation: Smuggle Gamecube into Disney Hotel Room
Star Wars: Battlefront 2>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Finals are coming up and you know what THAT means! I'm picking out a nice flattering paint color for my trash can house
It's like a tumbleweed got lost and figured my face was as good a place as any to settle down and raise a little tumbleweed family
YO WHAT THE FUCK'S THE DEAL WITH THE SEA SALT IN THIS CARAMEL LATTE
WHAT IDIOT THOUGHT THAT WOULDN'T TASTE LIKE GINGERBREAD-MAN CUM
Tonight I'm going to bed at 7:30
J-Day just shaved his beard and i can't really make sense of it all anymore
Realizing I was late for class didnt get me out of bed but having left open a box of whoopie pies did. I am a legal adult