18 years ago I cried nonstop and was completely dependent on those around me for survival like a parasite, so at least I've been consistent

"oh shit we have NOTHING planned for the seniors this quarter" its ok i got this *assigns several overlapping bull shit projects* hah got em

Operation: Smuggle Gamecube into Disney Hotel Room

Star Wars: Battlefront 2>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

"Thanks for being our dad, dad" -My mom

"No problem. It's fun." -My dad

Booty like a tempur pedic, you ca jump on it and a glass of wine won't spill or something idk

I'm not really a part of this and I don't even know who the kid is, but #projectpozzi is now officially renamed #Pozzi2012

Take a shot every time you hear a white girl use the word "numb" in her poetry slam poem. This tweet is meant for time travelers I guess

And Undead Poet's Society comes out on top! #poetry #slam #poetryslam was fun, would slam again

willing to love anyone who could teach me how to turn a t-shirt into a tank

Fuck mrs Hawkins just date me already

For every retweet I will further exploit a tragedy for exposure for my terrible microblog account on twitter dot com

RT this and i'll mercilessly cyberbully you

@hostagecalm post-glam speed-folk

@amradzzz U CAN'T SAAAAYY THAAAATT #spreadtheword

Trying to write as well as conor oberst does and it's not turning out so good

Greg suplinskas's eyebrows are super good. #juniorprom #nohomo

Woke up and opened tumblr, then fell back asleep. Later I hear my mom open the door and leave immediately. On my screen: super naked chick

Cunt sounds like the name for a foul ball in some sport I don't watch

#SexIsGoodWhen Neither i nor the escort are crying by the end