Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
If Fred Durst was a Transformer, he would transform into a Rape Van.
Don't you HATE when you're getting whistled at all day and then you remember you've been locked in a bird sanctuary for a week?
My friends and I have a really weird pecking order. (All of my friends are pigeons.)
One day we'll figure out that a Yawn is just a ghost opening your mouth and farting down your throat.
Has anyone ever died "not suffering" a stroke? Like, died "mildly enjoying" a stroke?
Tell Starbucks your name is "I have an Art History Degree" and watch the barista start crying when they yell it out loud.
I pooped my pants, which is surprising because I don't remember eating my pants.
"I can't WAIT to see what the boys got themselves into this time!" - me talking about The Hangover 3 to a tree full of crows.
When I'm depressed, I look into the mirror and repeat, "You are NOT Fred Durst."
I'd rather walk in on my girlfriend sleeping with my best friend than catch her genuinely enjoying a Rockstar Energy Drink.
Jesus took 3 days to rise, Pizza Crust only takes about 20 minutes. Think about it, I haven't.
I try to live every week like it's Shark Week, but I'm having a hard time killing all of these Australians with just my teeth.
Dating tip: When your date asks if you'd like to come inside, she's referring to her apartment.
Beyonce's "All The Single Ladies" has been remixed to be about calling your single friends over to come babysit.
RT IF YOU CAN SEE ME IN THE BUSHES OUTSIDE OF YOUR WINDOW RIGHT NOW
Professional #1 best ever person ever http://favstar.fm/users/evancsinclair