Paul Ryan. Rand Paul. Ayn Rand. I'm getting the feeling these are all the same person.

@juliaherron7 @verymarykate Holy OxyContin! Will she favorite mine?!

I voted for President @barackobama, not because my vote made a difference in Ky., but because my vote made a difference in America. #FORWARD

@djhillaryj and I rock at Song Pop. http://t.co/rmjEmwQi

Sometimes I wish I was one of those people who tweet their feelings. Then I remember that it's really lame.

Proactiv says it can remove Dark Marks. Umm, no?

"Girls who tweet their feelings... Girls who don't tweet anything..."

I'm not an afterthought. And I'm definitely not a second choice.

I've twerked far too much in the past few days. Legs hurt so hard.

The rednecks have discovered froyo. There's nowhere left to hide.

Literally just twerked in front of my family.

I'm about to go Sociology 101 on my dad's ass.

@verymarykate @juliaherron7 I would but my morphine smoothie hasn't kicked in yet. sad-dot-com-slash-tired

I think my life's goal has just been realized: To write and produce "Mean Girls: The Musical."

Minerva McGonagall: Badass extraordinaire.

Snape is the textbook definition of a tragic character. One of my favorites, but terribly heartbreaking.

Does @djhillaryj have a birthday coming up? #picstitch pic.twitter.com/B0KQf2Qq

Aww, cute. They're Instagramming their food/drinks. They must be in love.

You can't get anywhere in 3 seconds. You're setting me up for a loss already.

People who don't realize how good they have it <