@everydaydude's (Aaron Durand) most faved Tweets...
Dear Mystery Milk from the unmarked container in the office fridge now residing in my coffee,
Please be from a cow.
Please be from a cow.
What kind of convenience store doesn't sell Cheez Its!?! The kind of convenience store that just got peed in. On. Whatever.
Somebody star this so I remember to go to the comic book store after work because I'm so egocentric I'll check favstar before my to do list?
Funny, I'm not even craving a burrito or some Cheez Its right nOH GOD I CANT EVEN FINISH THE SENTENCE THATS SUCH A LIE.
There's some asshole with terrible taste in music listening to The Spin Doctors in my apartment right now updating my twitter status.
In training my mustache with wax from a company out of Portland I realize I'm one PBR and a fixie away from wearing your sister's jeans.
As natural selection would have it, I am not meant to eat Kettle Chips. My heritable traits don't include the strength for opening that bag.
In shopping around for a new apartment on Craigslist I'm learning my price range is "Flagged for Spam."
Some cool ass person left a box of Cheez-Its on my desk. Think anyone will notice if I put them in a bowl and pour milk over them?
If you ever catch me wearing cargo shorts, shoot me. But then make sure to check all the pockets, I'm all about function.
The social media version of the "where the hell are my keys" game is becoming "where the hell did I post that?"
If you can ever *really* be prepared for the middle finger of a passing 80-year-old motorist, I haven't figured out how.
Some weirdo at the taco shop today only ate two bites of his burrito before wrapping it hastily in tinfoil and taking it with me.
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