Watching a late thirty something go through something very real with an acoustic guitar. PBR $5

J.J Abrams : "dudes, should Darth Skywalker have a mask?" #newstarwars

I have one of those families that will call at 3 AM to tell you things like McDonalds brought the McRib back.

Amanda Bynes needs her vagina murdered now more than ever. @drake

first i look through my telescope, then i fuck ur bitch

MOVIE IDEA: Airbud but this time the sport is dog fighting.

"Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself? It's not logical!" -- Spock's big brother.

Area codes seems like an antiquated way to organize your hoes.

How much of the Bible did Marilyn Monroe write?
a) all of it.
b) fitness.
c) blessed.

What idiot named it Pokemon instead of Bugs Chummy

The Canadian version of Monopoly pic.twitter.com/zVtqKCLRQd

Evan Gattis has a grizzly bear rug in his room. The bear isn't dead, it's just afraid to move #GattisFacts @sportsouth @foxsportssouth

People who film things with an iPad in public have foul-smelling, misshapen genitals.

how bad do you think it smells after bruce banner changes into the hulk? the answer is real bad like bad poops

Craig dislikes the name Plouffe so much he threw a baseball at it.

The last time BJ Upton had hits in consecutive at bats was May 2, 1973.

@chrislhayes Hard G for eva

@paulbegala "Bring Back Bobby Valentine" #NextKellerColumn

My hometown is basically a racist Facebook post with a Chili's

The best paragraph Wikipedia has to offer pic.twitter.com/JT6MvCj9IQ