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  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    I can almost always tell if a movie doesn't use real dinosaurs.

    • 887
    • FAVS
    natreallyohanabaigEllie_WinthrophollykirkerKoldMorningKrowBenCrapmanDillonGerouxNahdude83
    • 562
    • RETWEETS
    natreallyCTrippohollykirkershelbsvadcountrygrlrebelBenCrapmanNahdude83donny0129
    JosesLovesYoufUCK_iSAAC_TurboJellyBean
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    I wish I was full of tacos instead of feelings

    • 564
    • FAVS
    britneybrw1Darlainkyjimmienellmtaylorlove858katerin_aguilarcanadian_janedonttouchme413Airbetweenears
    • 470
    • RETWEETS
    lydskiitaylorlove858katerin_aguilarmarcia_harrishollykirkershelbsvadAirbetweenearsJennyEhm
    TDeeRockgokananas
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    My roommate wouldn't let me name our wireless network 'Bill Wi the Science Fi' because he has no sense of humor.

    • 680
    • FAVS
    natreallytaylorlove858katerin_aguilarISarchiotocanadian_janelaureli_kkaleymae5252_AmusedGiraffe
    • 351
    • RETWEETS
    taylorlove858katerin_aguilarcanadian_jane_AmusedGiraffeshergulleshelbsvadauctoradamoNahdude83
    LizWhatsherfacecazzawndruh__fUCK_iSAAC_
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    In toy story 3, Andy is 17...that means for many years the toys sat in silence and watched as he furiously masturbated.

    • 510
    • FAVS
    SortaSarcasticzachv86angelina_mxoxoHoboOnATraindploegerMeltastisch_moinmoinDetailhochzwei
    • 324
    • RETWEETS
    zachv86HoboOnATraintoschcrsfavstar_historyginzyj1983__VivalazosoSalty_SwiftMargaritasforme
    fUCK_iSAAC_
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    OHMYGOD ADOBE I WILL UPDATE YOU LATER GET OFF MY DICK

    • 492
    • FAVS
    TaylorKorthlydskiihighpoppeeFrameworkAutocoSurfdudeken03GoofyGeminiDillonGerouxNahdude83
    • 261
    • RETWEETS
    AmpersandInterBNahdude83Jatori__ImJESSPlayinStevensRdmc_funbagsJediGigikittensoncrack
    VivalazosoBlack__Elvis
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    Tried to kill a spider with hair spray. It's still alive, but it's hair looks FABULOOOOOUS!

    • 418
    • FAVS
    LorieGZSortaSarcasticgigipicolazachv86nonchalantnachoangelina_mxoxoabbeysbooksCelebYouTaunt
    • 185
    • RETWEETS
    gigipicolazachv86angelina_mxoxoabbeysbooksJRT_91Hurricane_ReDBillDavis1516tayandmae
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    It's cute how we all eat popcorn like we haven't seen or eaten food in 5 years.

    • 384
    • FAVS
    gababluaTheeErin_delbsAPuzzelloImJESSPlayinLorieGZjadynb961hrlks
    • 215
    • RETWEETS
    TheeErin_delbsImJESSPlayinhrlksjust_anotheramySortaSarcasticKennycruzintimukh
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    Damn girl, are you a Terms and Conditions document because I don't give a fuck what you say.

    • 316
    • FAVS
    miswordedItsAllCrazyToMenatreallykaterin_aguilarcanadian_janeDaktari_nycohanabaigPierre_Dilinger
    • 174
    • RETWEETS
    ItsAllCrazyToMecanadian_janePierre_DilingerNahdude83SlipperySecretamsn123_aAPuzzelloImJESSPlayin
    ImJESSPlayinjakegunstCourtniss_
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    I have so much anger and hate in me right now, I almost feel like a Christian

    • 297
    • FAVS
    LorieGZzaraleascottioMythicPicnicperchicoreeGayHoleLosLos__gagagouldskitzoette
    • 122
    • RETWEETS
    OneTheyCallJayLosLos__Sweet_Rogue0_rachelquincrybaby_queenGertzthai_billmzflaneuse
    JediGigigarrettn
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    Vending Machines kill 13 people a year. Sharks kill 5.

    I can't wait until Homicidal Vending Machine week.

    • 278
    • FAVS
    LorieGZTehNemstergigipicolaRicanInBostonBlackCheesePiezachv86angelina_mxoxonattynatterson
    • 131
    • RETWEETS
    RobLives4LoveRicanInBostonzachv86angelina_mxoxoBillDavis1516FishPlantEattayandmaeUnknown_Johnson
    RandomlyMJ
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    Sext: I'll go halfsies on Plan B

    • 255
    • FAVS
    zachv86SavageAphroditeChyldMind_fukkHoboOnATrainginzyj1983__ellejizzerMistressOfOz
    • 117
    • RETWEETS
    SavageAphroditeMind_fukkHoboOnATrainginzyj1983__ellejizzerTrvlnRvrsdBluesrunawaycupcakeVivalazoso
    TeflonPawn
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    My mom told me that if I ever hit 1000 followers she'll tell me who my real dad is.

    • 243
    • FAVS
    LorieGZzachv86fgboofnonchalantnachocragw77Mind_fukkHoboOnATrainMissy_Kell
    • 97
    • RETWEETS
    nonchalantnachofavstar_historyMind_fukkHoboOnATrainelgatoabuMikeLallitherepoguyVivalazoso
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    I wonder if any midget couples have Tiny Dancer as their song.

    • 210
    • FAVS
    jordan_strattonhrlkszachv86nonchalantnachotheDanLawlertarlbludworthSeanD1111Realmitz
    • 101
    • RETWEETS
    hrlkszachv86SeanD1111McInappropriateTDeeRockMapleLubesonnyoconnornicfit75
    MrAdamBez
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    Say the opposite of these words: 1. always 2. coming 3. from 4. take 5. me 6. down

    • 198
    • FAVS
    MistressOfOzLuvPugcassvinceKelgoreTroutVivalazosonicfit75CatherineLMKLuisXavier
    • 101
    • RETWEETS
    cassvinceVivalazosovinnyandthenoseKiloG_KickBackAdorbsCorbsJosesLovesYouAbelMesganawDarzieDAMN__
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    If you take life too seriously I'm going to tickle you until you shit yourself.

    • 202
    • FAVS
    LorieGZzachv86angelina_mxoxoEightTwntyEightGoodnightGoldieGac_TigerLilly3DaphneDoo_PleasantSurpriz
    • 82
    • RETWEETS
    EightTwntyEightGoodnightGoldieDaphneDoo_PleasantSurprizAmeyaSurwaseLuvPugNGoidieBoobzillaz
    laurascaz
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    The great thing about sleeping alone is you can be whatever spoon you want to be.



    :-(

    • 184
    • FAVS
    angelina_mxoxo2ndCitySaintWetCymentiansiouxtayandmaeajpollardjenyb4tborges11
    • 83
    • RETWEETS
    angelina_mxoxoTheTower512ndCitySaintiansiouxtayandmaejenyb4tborges11Boobzillaz
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    Not douchey enough. TAKE IT AWAY! - Ed Hardy

    • 188
    • FAVS
    LorieGZnonchalantnachoellejizzerMistressOfOzMikeLalliLuvPugcassvinceJosesLovesYou
    • 72
    • RETWEETS
    canadianpsychemfavstar_historycassvinceDarzieDAMN__KieranJMLrodtopiaCSells20Black__Elvis
    TrueDouche
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    I thought I saw Drake today but it was just a kitten playing with a paper bag

    • 164
    • FAVS
    LorieGZzachv86parentgoth__JaBa_LBCbingkirdMissy_Kell_tarheelskid_Javi_Air
    • 86
    • RETWEETS
    JaBa_LBCKizerBillhelmACL_JoshMikeLalliellejizzerDarzieDAMN__d_a_nichHlaoRoo
    tryped__
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    Got bit by a bug yesterday. Still an ordinary human being. FUCK THIS.

    • 175
    • FAVS
    LorieGZangelina_mxoxoellejizzerMistressOfOzdandartLuvPugcassvinceJosesLovesYou
    • 65
    • RETWEETS
    sykomom123iam_sNsLuvPugcassvinceganeshbrandonstefdhondtDarzieDAMN__KieranJML
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    Twitter crushes are the best way to realize how stupid you really are.

    • 158
    • FAVS
    LorieGZbadfaeTheRomenTheCatWhisprerkatieecrandall1jessizaweCReleasesxRidiculousSheri
    • 79
    • RETWEETS
    samanthapeaceOccupyNachosYung_RaeRidiculousSheriellejizzerpoppy_daydreamsDarzieDAMN__HlaoRoo
    Ilovelamp1979enigmaticmessRobertThirstLisa_Laughs_
@evofck

@evofck
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