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  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    I can almost always tell if a movie doesn't use real dinosaurs.

    • 906
    • FAVS
    inepedrazakathvactkhan74DominicStrawshithoarderHunnerGoMeowpowerpuss_RideSallyRide69
    • 580
    • RETWEETS
    tkhan74DominicStrawshithoardertrashtasticaHunnerGoMeowRideSallyRide69jabba_jabba_jawDestineyLynn
    JosesLovesYoufUCK_iSAAC_TurboJellyBean
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    I wish I was full of tacos instead of feelings

    • 586
    • FAVS
    DominicStrawbadfaebombsydollnallHFMRideimacountrypeachChrisQuipsjenoftheforrest
    • 487
    • RETWEETS
    DominicStrawCola_DelightjoydenaeJohnESchultzMaisyKatimacountrypeachDank0GVicPopuli
    TDeeRockgokananas
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    My roommate wouldn't let me name our wireless network 'Bill Wi the Science Fi' because he has no sense of humor.

    • 689
    • FAVS
    DominicStrawtrashtasticaHunnerGoMeowjabba_jabba_jawDestineyLynnHatfieldAnneleahzenhauserndirtydishtowels
    • 355
    • RETWEETS
    HunnerGoMeowjabba_jabba_jawDestineyLynnleahzenhauserntaylorlove858katerin_aguilarcanadian_jane_AmusedGiraffe
    LizWhatsherfacecazzawndruh__fUCK_iSAAC_
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    OHMYGOD ADOBE I WILL UPDATE YOU LATER GET OFF MY DICK

    • 663
    • FAVS
    DominicStrawToxicWorrierginandtonic_666DatNolaSamOhighIsischarliedelta7BradSeatonSmithjenvillamere
    • 365
    • RETWEETS
    DominicStrawDatNolaSameternalvernaldansmellyoul8rcharliedelta7nhhabibmartinlh95djskill3t
    VivalazosoBlack__Elvis
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    In toy story 3, Andy is 17...that means for many years the toys sat in silence and watched as he furiously masturbated.

    • 521
    • FAVS
    DominicStrawi_wasnt_lookingRideSallyRide69LacRillerTip_DaddyFaerieGlamoursmapdBoscoPorter
    • 330
    • RETWEETS
    DominicStrawi_wasnt_lookingRideSallyRide69BoscoPortermstluvstrinketsjabba_jabba_jawzachv86HoboOnATrain
    fUCK_iSAAC_
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    It's cute how we all eat popcorn like we haven't seen or eaten food in 5 years.

    • 395
    • FAVS
    DominicStrawpowerpuss_RideSallyRide69buck4ittDestineyLynnconnie_estesscenesfromahatdirtydishtowels
    • 220
    • RETWEETS
    DominicStrawRideSallyRide69dirtydishtowelsTheeErin_delbsImJESSPlayinhrlksjust_anotheramy
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    Tried to kill a spider with hair spray. It's still alive, but it's hair looks FABULOOOOOUS!

    • 423
    • FAVS
    inepedrazaDominicStrawjabba_jabba_jawDestineyLynndirtydishtowelsLorieGZSortaSarcasticgigipicola
    • 188
    • RETWEETS
    DominicStrawjabba_jabba_jawDestineyLynngigipicolazachv86angelina_mxoxoabbeysbooksJRT_91
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    Damn girl, are you a Terms and Conditions document because I don't give a fuck what you say.

    • 327
    • FAVS
    inepedrazaDominicStrawi_wasnt_lookingRideSallyRide69jabba_jabba_jawDestineyLynnHatfieldAnnedrakechicken
    • 179
    • RETWEETS
    DominicStrawRideSallyRide69jabba_jabba_jawDestineyLynn_Knothead_ItsAllCrazyToMecanadian_janePierre_Dilinger
    ImJESSPlayinjakegunstCourtniss_
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    I have so much anger and hate in me right now, I almost feel like a Christian

    • 307
    • FAVS
    DominicStrawTheIrishJoeygerryhatricmikesboredomTheBeerGuy73ReticentTurnipyolimarie_BostonAccent79
    • 127
    • RETWEETS
    DominicStrawmikesboredomyolimarie_BostonAccent79jabba_jabba_jawOneTheyCallJayLosLos__Sweet_Rogue0
    JediGigigarrettn
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    Vending Machines kill 13 people a year. Sharks kill 5.

    I can't wait until Homicidal Vending Machine week.

    • 285
    • FAVS
    DominicStrawHunnerGoMeowninjamoose101BostonAccent79GlowingFrecklesjabba_jabba_jawDestineyLynnLorieGZ
    • 135
    • RETWEETS
    HunnerGoMeowBostonAccent79jabba_jabba_jawDestineyLynnRobLives4LoveRicanInBostonzachv86angelina_mxoxo
    RandomlyMJ
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    Sext: I'll go halfsies on Plan B

    • 257
    • FAVS
    DominicStrawDestineyLynnzachv86SavageAphroditeChyldMind_fukkHoboOnATrainginzyj1983__
    • 117
    • RETWEETS
    SavageAphroditeMind_fukkHoboOnATrainginzyj1983__ellejizzerTrvlnRvrsdBluesrunawaycupcakeVivalazoso
    TeflonPawn
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    My mom told me that if I ever hit 1000 followers she'll tell me who my real dad is.

    • 250
    • FAVS
    DominicStrawpowerpuss_RideSallyRide69amitCanojialovemyboots111jabba_jabba_jawDestineyLynnLorieGZ
    • 101
    • RETWEETS
    deepakrai916RideSallyRide69lovemyboots111jabba_jabba_jawnonchalantnachofavstar_historyMind_fukkHoboOnATrain
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    Say the opposite of these words: 1. always 2. coming 3. from 4. take 5. me 6. down

    • 220
    • FAVS
    inepedrazaDominicStrawRideSallyRide69Kitkat1KatCharmandBrainspaulrobalinojabba_jabba_jawChyld
    • 115
    • RETWEETS
    RideSallyRide69Kitkat1Katjabba_jabba_jawChyldCorey814cm_rutvikiLikeCatShirtsfinancecharge
    MasterOfMoppets
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    I wonder if any midget couples have Tiny Dancer as their song.

    • 214
    • FAVS
    DominicStrawIsisIrisimawakejabba_jabba_jawDestineyLynnjordan_strattonhrlkszachv86nonchalantnacho
    • 102
    • RETWEETS
    jabba_jabba_jawhrlkszachv86SeanD1111McInappropriateTDeeRockMapleLubesonnyoconnor
    MrAdamBez
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    If you take life too seriously I'm going to tickle you until you shit yourself.

    • 216
    • FAVS
    DominicStrawjane_snowbalBellaLucy82MobyTitsRiver_Nileselias_vigoNahdude83hussyglitrpants
    • 92
    • RETWEETS
    DominicStrawBellaLucy82Nahdude83Scotthobson1McKnightyBoolacrossemom5abhorrent_wifeGirrlGenius
    laurascaz
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    The great thing about sleeping alone is you can be whatever spoon you want to be.



    :-(

    • 184
    • FAVS
    angelina_mxoxo2ndCitySaintWetCymentiansiouxtayandmaeajpollardjenyb4tborges11
    • 83
    • RETWEETS
    angelina_mxoxoTheTower512ndCitySaintiansiouxtayandmaejenyb4tborges11Boobzillaz
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    Not douchey enough. TAKE IT AWAY! - Ed Hardy

    • 189
    • FAVS
    jabba_jabba_jawLorieGZnonchalantnachoellejizzerMistressOfOzMikeLalliLuvPugcassvince
    • 73
    • RETWEETS
    jabba_jabba_jawcanadianpsychemfavstar_historycassvinceDarzieDAMN__KieranJMLrodtopiaCSells20
    TrueDouche
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    Got bit by a bug yesterday. Still an ordinary human being. FUCK THIS.

    • 185
    • FAVS
    inepedrazaMrSidelinerDominicStrawDomAffusojdemboyzscenesfromahatDerekActualstardust1006
    • 70
    • RETWEETS
    DominicStrawDerekActualstardust1006AskAuntieEm1dirtydishtowelssykomom123iam_sNsLuvPug
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    I thought I saw Drake today but it was just a kitten playing with a paper bag

    • 165
    • FAVS
    DominicStrawLorieGZzachv86parentgoth__JaBa_LBCbingkirdMissy_Kell_tarheelskid_
    • 86
    • RETWEETS
    JaBa_LBCKizerBillhelmACL_JoshMikeLalliellejizzerDarzieDAMN__d_a_nichHlaoRoo
    tryped__
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    Twitter crushes are the best way to realize how stupid you really are.

    • 160
    • FAVS
    DominicStrawWhatevaConcLorieGZbadfaeTheRomenTheCatWhisprerkatieecrandall1jessizawe
    • 79
    • RETWEETS
    samanthapeaceOccupyNachosrachelnigRidiculousSheriellejizzerpoppy_daydreamsDarzieDAMN__HlaoRoo
    Ilovelamp1979enigmaticmessRobertThirstLisa_Laughs_
@evofck

@evofck
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