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  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    Gift @evofck Favstar Pro to unlock their best tweet!Gift them Pro!

    • 807
    • LIKES
    SnowmanMassacreNotintheMoodchewgumforeverBpuddnyx00CilboBagginsnativeminnowkasiomartin
    • 421
    • RETWEETS
    PrincessLeannePkasiomartinUhhmIDontKnowbridge415leahlovescheezurgeekisshowingfingerbangsargumatronic
    VivalazosoBlack__Elvis
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    I wish I was full of tacos instead of feelings

    • 601
    • LIKES
    iLikeCatShirtsxofrecklesDrSolomonEddiewyattkenAlyssaLudvickLoveNLunchmeatdjsalsalPrice2PayMB
    • 496
    • RETWEETS
    xofrecklesUhhmIDontKnowbrendahaycheyimdanuhPrice2PayMBshes_raeberry_krunkkrispythehuman
    TDeeRockgokananas
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    My roommate wouldn't let me name our wireless network 'Bill Wi the Science Fi' because he has no sense of humor.

    • 720
    • LIKES
    iLikeCatShirtsShesAlwaysWriteuptomykneesheresalamingiamem3ntomorixysistgabbycallawayadluzz
    • 374
    • RETWEETS
    autodrummer92TreasuredLyricSophicSirenShesAlwaysWritesjmmurdockZaynAltamimiLittleBell30funTweeters
    LizWhatsherfacecazzawndruh__fUCK_iSAAC_
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    In toy story 3, Andy is 17...that means for many years the toys sat in silence and watched as he furiously masturbated.

    • 579
    • LIKES
    NotMarkAllenUhhmIDontKnowzcodybMarvel_Fan_Clubstormzadork__LoveNLunchmeatAmandaJoyLordcourtneyreadman
    • 362
    • RETWEETS
    UhhmIDontKnowCapt__Fabulous__LoveNLunchmeatVanDeBogartSMilinNextDoorcolinalsandersSamWilliams_7goda425
    fUCK_iSAAC_
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    Tried to kill a spider with hair spray. It's still alive, but it's hair looks FABULOOOOOUS!

    • 444
    • LIKES
    iLikeCatShirtsnecrosocksxofrecklesUhhmIDontKnowednitionfencegatescounty_morgueRyanAndrewMitch
    • 203
    • RETWEETS
    necrosocksxofrecklesUhhmIDontKnowfavstar_historycounty_morgueRyanAndrewMitchchillednxrryronjon307
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    It's cute how we all eat popcorn like we haven't seen or eaten food in 5 years.

    • 398
    • LIKES
    LuvPugdoylealexander4__UhhmIDontKnowlittlelady899__DominicStrawpowerpuss_RideSallyRide69buck4itt
    • 221
    • RETWEETS
    UhhmIDontKnowDominicStrawRideSallyRide69dirtydishtowelsTheeErin_delbsImJESSPlayinhrlks
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    Damn girl, are you a Terms and Conditions document because I don't give a fuck what you say.

    • 338
    • LIKES
    LuvPugNotMarkAllencilmeowWhiskeykitty_SetSpeedjeanholtonhero_squirrelBritXNic
    • 181
    • RETWEETS
    BritXNicUhhmIDontKnowDominicStrawRideSallyRide69jabba_jabba_jawDestineyLynn_Knothead_ItsAllCrazyToMe
    ImJESSPlayinjakegunstCourtniss_
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    Vending Machines kill 13 people a year. Sharks kill 5.

    I can't wait until Homicidal Vending Machine week.

    • 310
    • LIKES
    iLikeCatShirtsxofrecklesNotMarkAllenchosen413UhhmIDontKnowbeermanboobs__vagdong__Quietmonkey77
    • 147
    • RETWEETS
    xofreckleschosen413UhhmIDontKnowCharmandBrainsJ_Illunninatisemple42betty0674nikrsnbrgr
    RandomlyMJ__
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    I have so much anger and hate in me right now, I almost feel like a Christian

    • 315
    • LIKES
    xofrecklesNotMarkAllenTheCamrynStoneUhhmIDontKnowZeroFilterDarzBadGalRicciForrestGrummpthebelleofbama
    • 131
    • RETWEETS
    UhhmIDontKnowjvalrulesForrestGrummpthebelleofbamaDominicStrawmikesboredomyolimarie_BlueDream2008
    JediGigigarrettn
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    My mom told me that if I ever hit 1000 followers she'll tell me who my real dad is.

    • 276
    • LIKES
    KomradeJAndrewR31reffreyjeevesmcibtyNotMarkAllenUhhmIDontKnowarmyantstudiosZombie_Kitv2
    • 114
    • RETWEETS
    NotMarkAllenUhhmIDontKnowarmyantstudiosZombie_Kitv2CGuacbuhsbaby_babyGSHOK9__shelovesdan
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    Sext: I'll go halfsies on Plan B

    • 261
    • LIKES
    NotMarkAllenUhhmIDontKnowLBergenheierlittlelady899__DominicStrawDestineyLynnzachv86SavageAphrodite
    • 118
    • RETWEETS
    UhhmIDontKnowSavageAphroditeMind_fukk__afucktonpuppiesginzyj1983__ellejizzerTrvlnRvrsdBluesrunawaycupcake
    TeflonPawn__
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    I wonder if any midget couples have Tiny Dancer as their song.

    • 230
    • LIKES
    beermanboobs__Letting_It_FlyAndrewGaskillschaboinkmeganayyyeBeardedManFacemuzzeltofdrink_demon
    • 111
    • RETWEETS
    schaboinkMiketyMikeDeepika_raj_31KelsHottingDarkPutschBwanaChrisargonautleaderiLikeCatShirts
    iLikeCatShirtsMrAdamBez__
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    Say the opposite of these words: 1. always 2. coming 3. from 4. take 5. me 6. down

    • 223
    • LIKES
    NotMarkAllenUhhmIDontKnowZeroFilterDarzinepedrazaDominicStrawRideSallyRide69Kitkat1KatCharmandBrains
    • 116
    • RETWEETS
    UhhmIDontKnowRideSallyRide69Kitkat1Katjabba_jabba_jawChyldCorey814cm_rutvikiLikeCatShirts
    RobertManchild
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    If you take life too seriously I'm going to tickle you until you shit yourself.

    • 231
    • LIKES
    xofrecklesUhhmIDontKnowHearyehearyeeDawnLovesZombiebranden_thjavidlowiepickledinoddcostello
    • 99
    • RETWEETS
    xofrecklesUhhmIDontKnownotPAIGEktmcburrlittlelady899__ToddSilbertkrishna_vanDominicStraw
    laurascaz
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    The great thing about sleeping alone is you can be whatever spoon you want to be.



    :-(

    • 200
    • LIKES
    ABusFullOfNunzbeermanboobs__Nahdude83Djar1esDC_C0micssuperzavala20RyanReece8smokeymccheefo
    • 89
    • RETWEETS
    LindsPoguegoomaloonIamMarandaiLikeCatShirtserrdayhustlahUhhmIDontKnowangelina_mxoxoTheTower51
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    Not douchey enough. TAKE IT AWAY! - Ed Hardy

    • 191
    • LIKES
    sonny2221UhhmIDontKnowjabba_jabba_jawLorieGZnonchalantnachoellejizzerMistressOfOzMikeLalli
    • 75
    • RETWEETS
    sonny2221UhhmIDontKnowjabba_jabba_jawcanadianpsychemfavstar_historycassvinceDarzieDAMN__KieranJML
    TrueDouche
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    Twitter crushes are the best way to realize how stupid you really are.

    • 173
    • LIKES
    Kilgore_StudgeLoveNLunchmeatilovechunkyboyz__tiReynardUhhmIDontKnowprettysadmostlyIvsy01misworded
    • 88
    • RETWEETS
    Kilgore_StudgetiReynardUhhmIDontKnowrishirestoneMVGICDVBZ__DeniseWalker81ContwixtFarisBueller_
    Ilovelamp1979enigmaticmess__RobertThirstLisa_Laughs_
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    Got bit by a bug yesterday. Still an ordinary human being. FUCK THIS.

    • 188
    • LIKES
    xofrecklestiReynardBadGalRicciinepedrazaMrSidelinerDominicStrawDomAffuso__jdemboyz
    • 72
    • RETWEETS
    tiReynardUhhmIDontKnowDominicStrawDerekActualstardust1006AskAuntieEm1dirtydishtowelssykomom123
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    I thought I saw Drake today but it was just a kitten playing with a paper bag

    • 167
    • LIKES
    xofrecklesKilgore_StudgeCreepowomanLosLos__UhhmIDontKnowDominicStrawLorieGZzachv86
    • 91
    • RETWEETS
    Kilgore_StudgeAllisonWendyhedgewitchlingblurryfacegonerLosLos__UhhmIDontKnowJaBa_LBCKizerBillhelm
    tryped__
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    Reasons why you should date me:
    1)
    2)
    3)
    4)
    5) Please.

    • 159
    • LIKES
    thefostererrickkondellvebquirogaV00DOOChileJoFiVeLoDisorderPressBuryYourDaveBaphySinmora
    • 93
    • RETWEETS
    ChimBreezySunsetPunkrickkondellSerAdhilsrhyde666pilvikirsikkaBrianCPoetryphsms
@evofck

@evofck

I'm single and ready to fall in love too quick and without you feeling the same

Gift 128x128 eed6a6fa05c032b3463123779fd30e334924cb30b476ccedc6e6f7bdfdc37b10

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