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  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    I can almost always tell if a movie doesn't use real dinosaurs.

    • 805
    • FAVS
    ah_NavajolisaOoOoRealRedRossgeekonursleevewilliampierrardhaleysfallingInsulinAddict12badevilcow
    • 514
    • RETWEETS
    lisaOoOoShaniePriewilliampierrardlacrossebreadSeBAsTianMrANtcharliececilechapel3929therealjayski
    JosesLovesYoufUCK_iSAAC_TurboJellyBean
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    My roommate wouldn't let me name our wireless network 'Bill Wi the Science Fi' because he has no sense of humor.

    • 640
    • FAVS
    JohnBechardginzyj1983JakeGunstellejizzerninjabaconpizzalookimhidingMistressOfOzAsifiqbalmobin
    • 330
    • RETWEETS
    JohnBechardginzyj1983MistressOfOztis_the_cezanVivalazoso_allisandraDarzieDAMN__GalacticToasts
    LizWhatsherfacecazzawndruhfUCK_iSAAC_
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    I wish I was full of tacos instead of feelings

    • 518
    • FAVS
    ColoChiverginzyj1983LiisaTSPomegrenede__suzsk8mjlopemanerinberrypieboundbirdieblue
    • 444
    • RETWEETS
    ginzyj1983suzsk8erinberrypieShanaRose21McInappropriateellejizzerMistressOfOzSassyMessMel
    TDeeRockgokananas
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    In toy story 3, Andy is 17...that means for many years the toys sat in silence and watched as he furiously masturbated.

    • 506
    • FAVS
    dploegerMeltastisch_moinmoinDetailhochzweitoschcrslisaOoOoginzyj1983JakeGunst
    • 322
    • RETWEETS
    toschcrsfavstar_historyginzyj1983VivalazosoSalty_SwiftMargaritasforme_ichele__thesinisterkid
    fUCK_iSAAC_
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    OHMYGOD ADOBE I WILL UPDATE YOU LATER GET OFF MY DICK

    • 386
    • FAVS
    JohnBechardginzyj1983thezaklohussyglitrpantsLiisaTSsuzsk8mjlopeman_flightofideas
    • 213
    • RETWEETS
    JohnBechardginzyj1983cholosNcocainehussyglitrpantsLiisaTSBeasstmodeeMcInappropriatejwarrman
    VivalazosoBlack__Elvis
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    Tried to kill a spider with hair spray. It's still alive, but it's hair looks FABULOOOOOUS!

    • 401
    • FAVS
    lisaOoOoginzyj1983JakeGunstellejizzerMistressOfOzCheeseboy22SuperJuandererjimandrewsmusic
    • 173
    • RETWEETS
    ginzyj1983ellejizzerIamQivysTrvlnRvrsdBluesrunawaycupcakeFaerieGlamourjimandrewsmusicVivalazoso
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    Damn girl, are you a Terms and Conditions document because I don't give a fuck what you say.

    • 286
    • FAVS
    lisaOoOoginzyj1983SteelCityDawnJakeGunstmord0rellejizzerAsifiqbalmobinHiddleDeeDee
    • 160
    • RETWEETS
    lisaOoOoginzyj1983McInappropriateVivalazososuperdadatron__WaterGirlFLADub_Allemankbarnitz
    JakeGunstCourtniss_
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    Vending Machines kill 13 people a year. Sharks kill 5.

    I can't wait until Homicidal Vending Machine week.

    • 261
    • FAVS
    GayDeceiverginzyj1983Missy_Kellellejizzeraerin_monsterbusynessNeek1974TampaBayMomma
    • 119
    • RETWEETS
    ginzyj1983craigpiloperhapssomedayFavstar250hollywood_95_69MikeLallirunawaycupcakerobkirk77
    RandomlyMJ
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    I have so much anger and hate in me right now, I almost feel like a Christian

    • 263
    • FAVS
    lisaOoOoellejizzerMistressOfOzAsifiqbalmobintiReynarddarlingshelly72cassvincezorgod
    • 105
    • RETWEETS
    AsifiqbalmobintiReynardcassvinceVivalazosoCopperheadSammi0franko0benittto11Favstar250
    garrettn
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    Sext: I'll go halfsies on Plan B

    • 250
    • FAVS
    ginzyj1983ellejizzerMistressOfOzMikeLalliDelanieFischercassvincequeeenvkKelgoreTrout
    • 114
    • RETWEETS
    ginzyj1983ellejizzerTrvlnRvrsdBluesrunawaycupcakeVivalazosoDoogieKwonPlayerDota2amusinglilturds
    TeflonPawn
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    My mom told me that if I ever hit 1000 followers she'll tell me who my real dad is.

    • 236
    • FAVS
    Missy_KellellejizzerMistressOfOzThatKidJosh1990elgatoabuMikeLalliRealSamHarwoodsmapd
    • 93
    • RETWEETS
    elgatoabuMikeLallitherepoguyVivalazosoDarzieDAMN__RejectedRedhead_mariemelissaAeonOfAnthony
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    I wonder if any midget couples have Tiny Dancer as their song.

    • 206
    • FAVS
    theDanLawlertarlbludworthSeanD1111RealmitzMoMoHorneTDeeRockellejizzerMistressOfOz
    • 99
    • RETWEETS
    SeanD1111McInappropriateTDeeRockMapleLubesonnyoconnornicfit75madbridgesJosesLovesYou
    MrAdamBez
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    Say the opposite of these words: 1. always 2. coming 3. from 4. take 5. me 6. down

    • 198
    • FAVS
    MistressOfOzLuvPugcassvinceKelgoreTroutVivalazosonicfit75CatherineLMKLuisXavier
    • 101
    • RETWEETS
    cassvinceVivalazosovmartin521KiloG_KickBackAdorbsCorbsJosesLovesYouAbelMesganawDarzieDAMN__
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    If you take life too seriously I'm going to tickle you until you shit yourself.

    • 199
    • FAVS
    EightTwntyEightGoodnightGoldieGac_TigerLilly3DaphneDoo_PleasantSurpriz_Ms_Moneypenny_lacrossemom5SeanD1111
    • 82
    • RETWEETS
    EightTwntyEightGoodnightGoldieDaphneDoo_PleasantSurprizAmeyaSurwaseLuvPugNGoidieBoobzillaz
    laurascaz
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    The great thing about sleeping alone is you can be whatever spoon you want to be.



    :-(

    • 179
    • FAVS
    ajpollardjenyb4tborges11vodkaandwineCallMeDraperBoobzillazDominicStrawLuvPug
    • 78
    • RETWEETS
    jenyb4tborges11BoobzillazMistressOfOzDarzieDAMN__eborg01ilovemaitlandMartinTiaelise
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    Not douchey enough. TAKE IT AWAY! - Ed Hardy

    • 186
    • FAVS
    ellejizzerMistressOfOzMikeLalliLuvPugcassvinceJosesLovesYouBonesHerjoindthedarksid
    • 70
    • RETWEETS
    cassvinceDarzieDAMN__KieranJMLrodtopiaCSells20Black__ElvisleahlovescheezakaJoJo_
    TrueDouche
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    I thought I saw Drake today but it was just a kitten playing with a paper bag

    • 162
    • FAVS
    milkshakesluttJaBa_LBCbingkirdMissy_Kell_tarheelskid_Javi_AirMikeLalliMcInappropriate
    • 86
    • RETWEETS
    JaBa_LBCKizerBillhelmACL_JoshMikeLalliellejizzerDarzieDAMN__d_a_nichHlaoRoo
    tryped__
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    Got bit by a bug yesterday. Still an ordinary human being. FUCK THIS.

    • 173
    • FAVS
    ellejizzerMistressOfOzdandartLuvPugcassvinceJosesLovesYouerrhmagerddsherb002
    • 65
    • RETWEETS
    sykomom123iam_sNsLuvPugcassvinceganeshbrandonstefdhondtDarzieDAMN__KieranJML
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    Twitter crushes are the best way to realize how stupid you really are.

    • 150
    • FAVS
    ellejizzerBonesHerTattleTSisterpoppy_daydreamsDarzieDAMN__redheadtart__est1975blogHlaoRoo
    • 75
    • RETWEETS
    ellejizzerpoppy_daydreamsDarzieDAMN__HlaoRooweswesdanIlovelamp1979tryped__Nicholey23
    Ilovelamp1979enigmaticmessBeforeTheDamageLisa_Laughs_
  • evofck
      Evan @evofck

    I'd rather have hot local Pringles wanting to meet me.

    • 154
    • FAVS
    tonywoodliefDadUnderfirescubaaprilAmandaStecykrobin_991toni_goldsetinCassiecollShirleyEwe
    • 70
    • RETWEETS
    DadUnderfireLiseMerlerobin_991McInappropriateellejizzerdanielleP99Lips_Eleven__adisgraceful__
@evofck

@evofck

Sexy singles in my area want to meet me? Yeah, prob because I'm a feline fashionista